Oct 31, 2010

Top Ten Shortest Books by Country Artists

10. Original Thoughts - by Kenny Chesney

09. Country Healthy: Our Favorite Lo-Cal Recipes - by Garth and Trisha

08. Can't Get Blood from a Turnip: The Prudent Choices of Curb Records

07. Clean Shot: On Hunting and Fair Gamesmanship - by Troy Gentry

06. Hank to Hank: Good Advice Passed Down - by Hank Jr. and Hank III

05. Bad Decisions I Never Made - by Mindy McCready

04. Songs I Didn't Sing Harmony On - by Vince Gill with Emmylou Harris

03. Holler Back: Our Country Career - by The Lost Trailers

02. A Father's Love - by Doug Stone

01. My Favorite Interviews - by George Strait

YouTube Gems: Wilburn Brothers

Nothing better than a good ol' murder ballad for Halloween.

Oct 30, 2010

Great Sugarland article

You really need to read this article about Sugarland's new album, from my like-minded Saving Country Music compadres.
"This is the bottom of the slippery slope, the payoff for years of desensitization and subtle creeping toward pure pop and arena rock where no more tributes to the traditions of country are necessary."

YouTube Gems: White Zombie

Happy Halloween!

Oct 29, 2010

YouTube Gems: Monster Magnet

I've been rocking to Monster Magnet's new album Mastermind this week. Here's a flash from the past - their glammed out video to their 90's hit "Space Lord."

Oct 28, 2010

Random Creepy Parody Covers

Random Doppelganger

This isn't particularly music related other than John Douche Rich being in this photo with Gary Busey and Lil Jon (photo from their Celebrity Apprentice appearance). But wow, isn't Gary looking like financial advisor/host/author Suze Orman these days?

Country Trick or Treating

What can your little ghoul or goblin expect to receive in their plastic jack-o-lantern if you drop by the homes of country stars this upcoming Halloween? Well, FTM has the scoop!

Oct 27, 2010

Best of 2010 So Far: 5/6 Report

Well, here we are reaching the home stretch, and here's my updated list of my favorite albums of the year. Just a reminder, my #2 came out Tuesday and is available here, here ($5.99!) and here. Buy it! Oh yeah, as always, feel free to suggest albums I may have missed!

1. Jamey Johnson - The Guitar Song
2. Two Cow Garage - Sweet Saint Me
4. Big Boi - Sir Luscious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty
5. Joe Pug - Messenger
6. Trampled by Turtles - Palomino
9. Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings - I Learned the Hard Way

The rest:
Truth & Salvage Co. - s/t
Dirty Sweet - American Spiritual
The Black Crowes - Croweology
Band of Horses - Infinite Arms
Drive-by Truckers - The Big To-Do
The Dillinger Escape Plan - Option Paralysis
Randy Houser - They Call Me Cadillac
Sean McConnell - Saints, Thieves & Liars
Hellbound Glory - Old Highs and New Lows
Reckless Kelly - Somewhere in Time
Lissie - Catching a Tiger
The Dirty Guv'nahs - Youth is in Our Blood
Zac Brown Band - You Get What You Give
Randy Rogers Band - Burning the Day
The Roots - How I Got Over
High on Fire - Snakes for the Divine
John Moreland and the Black Gold Band - Things I Can't Control
Great American Taxi - Reckless Habits
The Fox Hunt - Long Way to Go
Surfer Blood - Astro Coast
Old 97's - The Grand Theatre Volume 1
Delta Spirit - History From Below
The Moondoggies - Tidelands

Oct 26, 2010

Songs Illustrated #37

Top 10 Ways to Complete this Analogy: Sugarland is to Country as...

10. ...this blog is to unbiased, well-researched music journalism

09. Jay Leno is to comedy genius

08. Invading a country is to world peace

07. Ole Miss is to BCS championship-caliber NCAA football

06. Unprotected sex with Paris Hilton is to good health

05. Kellie Pickler is to MENSA

04. Kid Rock is to hygiene

03. Blake Shelton is to sobriety

02. Brett Favre is to well-endowed non-interception throwing quarterbacks

01. Kristian Bush is to humility

Oct 25, 2010

Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist Reviews II

Before I begin, I ask the Lord's forgiveness that I even allowed my ears to be party to this deplorable work of soul-staining music. And now, two Proverbs from the very same chapter (20) 1.Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler and whosoever erreth thereby is not wise; 4. The sluggard will not plow by reason of the Winter. What these verses are telling us is that Billy Currington is on a steady and straight path into the infinite tormenting fires of Hell, my friends. In this song, he tells us that he is not only lazy and useless, but that the only skill he possesses is drinking beer. Friend, a dog can drink beer, and where are dogs going? Hell, for they know not the Lord! And sloth, why that's one of the Seven Deadly Sins. I tell you now that the lifestyle espoused in this song can only lead to marital strife, unemployment, alcohol abuse, estrangement of friends (except for Satan himself) and eternal damnation. Jesus, I ask you to remove these demons from Billy. He is still Your child, but he has gone astray. Listeners of this song need to fall upon their face and tearfully beg that they might be spared everlasting separation from the Father. Amen.

Mr. Turnage, my daddy, asked me to write down a few lines about this song because he is currently on his way to the local medical center because he was having chest pains after hearing this "Fancy." He said that he prays he does not pass from this mortal coil directly after hearing this perverse song because he fears his salvation may not weigh in the balance against such a wretched work. He says it is a celebration of materialism and prostitution, whatever that means. If my daddy dies, I will hunt you Reba. Daddy might be above fury and retribution, but I ain't, bitch! (I hope he don't read this!) Oh yeah, he says this song is a big fat F. Amen.

Oct 24, 2010

Country Day October '10

Next post is...

Country Day October - Parody album covers featuring Randy Houser, The Dixie Chicks, Steve Azar, Blake Shelton and 16 more!

Oct 23, 2010

YouTube Gems: Jamey Johnson

Here's Jamey's new video for "Playing the Part." (which is quite honestly kinda stupid, but it's good for a laugh or two)

Oct 19, 2010

___ Deserves a Sackpunch #11

Texas Music/Red Dirt Lemming

You know who you are. The guy in the Jerry Jeff t-shirt and the Southern Thread cap with a Shiner in your hand and a "whooo" on your lips. Yeah, you, the one with an inordinate amount of cockiness and hair.

You were born with one reason for feelings of superiority; your birth certificate says Temple, TX 1982. I won't begrudge you state pride. Texas is pretty cool: Willie is from there, you used to be a freakin' country, you can have temps in the upper 90's and snow in the state at the same time, you kill lots of baddies... if I was born there, I'd tout it like a mofo myself. I think my state (Mississippi) kicks ass, despite 93.5% of the country seeing us as a punch line to some joke about uneducated racist rednecks.

You also have a right to think that your music scene is awesome. It is. How many other music scenes exist in their own regional bubble yet still have radio stations that play only that style, have their own festivals, have their own culture, and support their artists to the degree that many have grown flat-out wealthy off of it? None others, that's how many.

Badass as they are, these two facts have clouded your vision. You see your favorite music as the be all end all and all others can GTFO. Nashville is fake. The worst Texas singer has more talent than the best from the middle of Tennessee. Nashville only cares about cash. Nashville sucks! In your mind, that's a Biblical fact. Well, here's some heresy for you: If it is gospel that Nashville sucks, then so does Texas!

Nashville copies success. So does Texas. How many Randy Rogers Band clones you got saddling up and riding the range out yonder? A lot, that's how many.

Nashville plays it safe. So does Texas. How many in the "scene" are willing to eschew beer, honeys and Texas as base material for songs? Not many.

Nashville leans pop. So does Texas (though to a lesser degree admittedly). Who are the biggest bands and singers? Stone country outfits like Wayne Hancock and Lucky Tubb? Nah, more mainstream sounding folks like Reckless Kelly and CCR. Sure they're great at what they do (did, in CCR's case), but they're also very accessible.

Nashville doesn't celebrate its more cerebral and artistically genuine artists. Neither does Texas. Otherwise, the Rodney Haydens, Josh Griders, Slaid Cleaveses and Jason Eadys would rule the roost. They're popular, but vastly underappreciated.

Nashville prefers image over substance. So does Texas. You got many physically unattractive stars out there? Didn't think so.

I could go on about your similarities to VietNashville, but you get the point don't you? The biggest difference is the geography.

Now don't get me wrong. Texas has still got most things over Nashville. You've got passion, grassroots connection to the musicians, a preference for artists who can actually play and sing, and a general reverence for the legends who came before. For that, you are to be applauded.

Just don't go thinking you're perfect. Check Rita's blog every day for evidence to the contrary. Clearly, you have more strengths than mainstream country, but you also have the same weaknesses. Besides, Pat Green fled the Texas scene, so how good can it be? ;)

And for those of you who disagree and still think the Lone Star State's "Texas music/Red Dirt" singers and bands can do no wrong, get your nuts ready for a haymaker... now you'll be walking bowlegged for a reason.

Oct 17, 2010

Top 10 House Rules for Winners of "Party at Mt. Richmore" Contest

CMT is running a contest where the prize is an all-night party at John Rich's Mt. Richmore. FTM got aholt' of some of the rules for the winner.

10. No cameras, recording devices, weapons or Democrats

09. Must present proof of legal residency and gun ownership

08. Homosexuals are welcome

....to work on the catering staff

07. Don't do anything you don't think Johnny Cash would do

06. Males are required to present I.D. for age verification; females, not so much...

05. Thou shalt not take the name of McCain in vain

04. Only attendees with a blood alcohol level less than .12 may drive home afterwards

03. Please leave Gretchen a nice tip. She's not tending bar for her health.

02. Must sign a health, confidentiality, damages, and sexually transmitted diseases waiver

01. Do not feed Sebastian Bach after midnight

Oct 15, 2010

YouTube Gems: Bleu Edmondson

Here's Bleu Edmondson with "No Room for Mercy" (which I reviewed for American Twang here this week) from his upcoming album The Future Ain't What It Used to Be.

Oct 14, 2010

Cover of Tim McGraw's 4th Greatest Hits Album Cover Revealed

Click here for an interesting read.

Gretchen Wilson Parody

"Who??" you might ask. Well, Gretchen Wilson was once one of the hottest rising stars in country music, with her smash hit "Redneck Woman." Since the release of that song and subsequent clones, Wilson has since gone into witness protection... I think. Anyway, here's a lyric parody of her semi-hit with Merle Haggard, "Politically Uncorrect."

Intelligently Uncorrect

I'm for the low man on the classroom roll
And I'm for the Junkyard Dog and dips of Skoal
And I'm for selling plasma to pay the rent
And I'm for getting drunk at the gravel pit
I'm for taquitos with hot nacho cheese
And I'm for scratchin' where and whenever I please
And I'm for skin movies on Cinemax
And blue jeans so low they show my crack

And I'm for a bottle of Colt 45
And I'm for the ditchweed, love gettin' high
I'm just one of the losers
Who can't get no respect
Intelligently uncorrect

I guess people don't much like my lifestyle
Aw, but don't be hatin' 'cause I get buckwild
Cause I'm gonna fight for my rights, by damn
The U.S. Constipation says this is a free land

Repeat Chorus
And I'm for a tallboy of good Natty Ice
And I'm for the oxy, love gettin' high
I'm just one of the losers
Who can't buy no respect
Intelligently uncorrect

Nothing wrong with a bottle of Colt 45
Nothing wrong with Aunt Mary, and gettin' real high
I'm just some of many who don't get no respect
Intelligently uncorrect
Intelligently uncorrect


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