
Jan 31, 2011
Awkward Gary Levox Photo of the Week
A Tammy Wynette Venn Diagram
Jan 30, 2011
Country Cred-o-meter: Carpetbagger Edition

Jan 29, 2011
Free Music: RCPM

Jan 28, 2011
YouTube Gems: The Louvin Brothers
Jan 27, 2011
Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist on Kenny Chesney's "Somewhere with You"

Kenny Chesney - Somewhere With You
Mr. Chesney's newest smash hit country song sounds suspiciously like what we used to call "pop music" back when my pals and I used to cruise the Sonic after Bible drills, bobbing our heads. It seems at the very least insincere, and more to the point, dishonest to release this song to the country music radio stations. As if the sin of false presentation were not enough, Kenneth's song is a veritable snake nest of immoral behaviors. The first two lines reveal the main character's jealousy and envy over his ex-girlfriend (we assume it's a girl, but one cannot be too certain in this morally loose era) courting a new love interest. These two sins of course lead to yet another, consumption of old Scratch's mind altering beverages. Next, he goes on to look back on his time with this ex and he has the gall to reveal to us, fair reader, that he went on a date to the amusement park without an adult present to make sure this couple didn't cavort around in the haunted house or touch uncovered skin together at any point of their ride on the Tilt-a-whirl. Next line, next sin - he let a (presumable) female drive him around. The man is to be at the helm in any facet of any relationship, thus saith my Lord. And now saith my Lord, this couple committed sexual sin, because Kenneth Chesney got them a hotel room and you just know what happened on those bodily fluid encrusted sheets. My chest is tightening up, I don't mind telling you …and so is my bbb… never mind.
I'll just summarize the rest of this vile song: Mr. Chesney is sleeping around with all manner of whores in an attempt to fill up an empty space in his soul. Does he not know that this longing is for the King of Kings… not the queen of his four poster? My angina is really acting up right now… but please, unless the real damnation of your eternal soul is something you desire, don't give this song a second listen.
F-
Jan 26, 2011
5 Rock Album Covers - Parodied
Jan 25, 2011
Awkward Gary Levox Photo of the Week
Screw the Working Man
Jan 24, 2011
Country Doppelgängers XI





You Suck as a Music Fan Vol. 1

Jan 21, 2011
Top 10 Least Likely Song Titles on Hank III's Comeback Album

Hank Williams III is now free from Curb Records, after years of consistently delayed/blocked album releases and a general lack of creative control. Most fans assume Hank will generally continue his mix of hard country and punk rock, with likely more explicit lyrics and taboo topics now that he's free. Maybe not but who, besides Shelton, really knows?
Here are the Top 10 Least Likely Song Titles on Hank III's Comeback Album
10. Shooter and Me
09. Daddy, You're My Hero
08. Freebirds (with Tim McGraw)
07. I Miss You, Mike
06. Get Behind Me, Satan
05. Love is a Miracle (duet with Taylor Swift)
04. Nashville Bound and Down
03. Trucks, Jesus and American Flags
02. I'm Not Really Into a Drinkin' and a Druggin' Anymore
01. I Wanna Play on the Opry
YouTube Gems: Sunny Sweeney
Jan 20, 2011
If/Then/Else Chart: The Bellamy Brothers (Britney?)
Country Face Swaps: Joey + Rory + ugh
Jan 19, 2011
Christmas/Gift Card Music Haul
Jan 18, 2011
Jan 17, 2011
Awkward Gary Levox Photo of the Week
Shameful Confessions: My Darkest Days

Shameful Confessions
This'll be a new occasional feature (that hopefully doesn't diminish what little credibility I have left), discussing an album, song, artist, genre or other music related subject that I should probably be ashamed to admit that I enjoy. I'm of the opinion that you like what you like, who cares if critics like it?... with the caveat that one must have some shred of (what is generally perceived to be) good musical taste to not suck as a human being. Take my wife for example, she likes musicals (eh), some modern rock (eh), Josh Groban and the like (um?), hair metal (yes!), Linda Rondstadt (although I'm not a big fan, Linda is a well respected artist), Pink (pretty cool)... and she enjoyed Lucero when we saw them in concert... therefore, her sucky tastes are balanced out with some good stuff. If she only liked Josh Groban and Rent, I probably wouldn't be referring to her as "my wife" (just kidding, love you sweetie!). I, on the other hand, have impeccable taste in music (traditional country, alt-country, indie rock, soul, good metal, top tier rap artists, etc).... BUT (That's a big "but" there). But, there are exceptions...there are songs, musicians and albums that defy my normal listening preferences by a long shot. I don't really feel all that guilty about these musical pleasures - I'm too far into my 30's and set in my ways to give a damn - but this column needed a recurring title. Anyway, here's the first entry.
My Darkest Days - s/t
I hate Nickelback, in case you didn't know. Hate them with a passion. I can identify one of their songs (heard or unheard before) within 3 notes - in time to swiftly turn the station. I also hate most modern rock...Godsmack, Three Days Grace, Disturbed, Chevelle, etc. Can't stand 'em.
My Darkest Days has frequently been described as Nickelback-lite. Their breakout hit, "Porn Star Dancing" is a sleazy ode to strippers that features Chad Kroeger (of Nickelback) and has an accompanying remix featuring Ludacris. Most of the album is MOR anthemic modern rock, with nothing particularly new to offer in the way of lyrics or music. Based on these points, the self-titled debut sounds like it should be the aural equivalent of Hell.
BUT, I like it. A lot.
WTF? Why? Well, the aforementioned "Porn Star Dancing" is infectious and naughty... and fun. It's reminiscent of the joyous,unrepentant debauchery of my beloved hair metal. LA Guns sprung to mind when I first heard it. I immediately sought out the album for preview after hearing the track. I was disappointed to find out that the rest of the album was as far from LA Guns as Rascal Flatts is from country. Still, I gave it a shot. Then another, then another, then I was hooked.
Few of the other songs are immediately enjoyable as the single, but they definitely grew on me. I suppose it's the band's focus on melody over attitude that set them apart for me. Most of the tunes are pop songs with a loud guitar bed... bass driven and ingratiating. Though some are full of bravado, that's not the point here. The songs are the thing, not the image. Not so with groups like Nickelback, whose main lot in the music biz is to constantly show you how big their balls are.
"Burn It Down" is another of my favorites from My Darkest Days. It has a reggae-lite rhythm and an earworm of a melody. Think Sublime with more direction. It gets stuck in my head more often than it should. "Come Undone" is a skillfully rendered take on the 1990's Duran Duran hit. My Darkest Days shows off a little lyrical skill (for the only time on the album, mind you) on "Goodbye," in which the singer leaves a heroin addicted lover for his own good. These are the more memorable songs, but aside from the pretty insipid opener "Move Your Body," none of them are skippers.
Seriously though, nothing about this album or band, for the time being, is remarkable. The lead singer has a likable voice. The guitar work is fine, if unexceptional. The songs are far from groundbreaking. I don't know what the draw is. There's always that undefinable "it" factor, which My Darkest Days does seem to possess. Basically, I just dig the album... what else is there to say? I may hate it and myself for writing this in a month or so, but for now, it is what it.... nevermind.
I hope the band's likely forthcoming mainstream success won't go to their head. Rather, they should continue on the path they've already begun, with their eyes and ears always on the song, not the trappings of their genre or their growing popularity.
Jan 16, 2011
Charting the Reasons People Listen to Rascal Flatts
Jan 13, 2011
YouTube Gems: Kasey Anderson
3 Songs Illustrated
Feel Bad For You
Jan 12, 2011
.99 Reviews: Trace Adkins "Brown Chicken Brown Cow"
