Nov 30, 2012
It'z Just Grumpy Cat Hatin'
Labels:
Florida Georgia Line,
Grumpy Cat,
memes
Brantley Gilbert Fan eCards #9
Labels:
BG Fans eCards,
Brantley Gilbert
YouTube Gems: Jeremy Steding - Let The Boys Drink Whiskey
Here's the first official video from FTM pal Jeremy Steding. Enjoy!
Labels:
Jeremy Steding,
YouTube Gems
Honest Billboard Chart
Labels:
Florida Georgia Line,
Hunter Hayes,
Luke Bryan,
Photocrap,
Taylor Swift
Nov 29, 2012
C'mon George, That's Not Really Your Name
Labels:
George Strait,
Photocrap,
Songs Illustrated
Waylon Jennings Parody
I wrote this parody lyric back in 2006 and sadly,
it's gotten way more out of hand since then...
Don’t You Think This Redneck Bit Has Done Got Out of Hand
(Parody of Waylon’s “Don’t You Think This Outlaw Bit has Done Got Out of Hand”)
Verse 1:
I'm for peas and cornbread, and down home honesty
But this song's about the joke some folks have pulled on you and me
Soon as that gal redneck went up to number one
Folks re-found the drawl they’d lost - yeehaw, ain’t this some fun?
Chorus:
Don't you think this redneck bit has done got out of hand
What started out as getting real has turned into a scam
Now everybody’s dipping Skoal and sportin’ farmer’s tans
Don't you think this redneck bit has done got out of hand
Verse 3:
They were singin’ sweet pop music till ol’ Gretchen came along
Then overnight, big pickup trucks and sweet tea filled their songs
Hillbillies, hicks and white trash started skankin’ up the charts
They’re tradin’ in Versace fashion for blue jeans from Walmart
Chorus
Don't you think this redneck bit has done got out of hand
What started out as getting real has turned into a scam
Now everybody’s swiggin’ beer, sayin’ hell yeah and by damn
Don't you think this redneck bit has done got out of hand
©2006 Corey Parkman
Labels:
Gretchen Wilson,
parody,
Waylon Jennings
Lyrical Satirical: Ho in Honky Tonk
“Ho” in Honky Tonk
©2012 FTM Satire
You ain’t from around here, is ya
I can tell by your frosted hair
And your eyeing that skirt
Yeah, she’s a real flirt
But let me warn you ‘bout that one there
Chorus
She puts the ho in honky tonk
She dirty dances to the slow dance songs
You’ll need prescriptions if she get whats she wants
She puts the ho in honky tonk
Said you can handle your business
Ha, that’s what she’s gonna say
She’s been with every guy
You can spy with your eye
Even ol’ Virgil there, and he’s gay
She puts the ho in honky tonk
She booty dances to a hurtin’ songs
You’ll have a rash if you get what you want
She puts the ho in honky tonk
Bridge
If you value your dignity
And your health, don’t be a fool
She goes down like Hennessy
Gets around like these bar stools
She puts the ho in honky tonk
Givin’ up that badonkadonk
You’ll need a clinic if she get whats she wants
She puts the ho in honky tonk
Labels:
Lyrical Satirical
Nov 28, 2012
Country Day Part 4: The Band Perry, etc.
Labels:
Country Day,
Dustin Lynch,
Photocrap,
Rich O'Toole,
The Band Perry
Country Day Part 3: Taylor Swift, Brad Paisley, etc.
Labels:
Brad Paisley,
Country Day,
Dean Dillon,
Photocrap,
Sunny Ledfurd,
Taylor Swift
Country Day Nov. '12 Parody Album Covers: Part 1
Labels:
Country Day,
George Strait,
Hayes Carll,
Photocrap,
Ricky Skaggs,
Terri Clark
Nov 27, 2012
John Rich's Songwriting Tips #64
Think outside the box. Write from your own unique perspective. Tell an old story in a new way. This is advice losers give aspiring songwriters. Does anybody who followed those guidelines have a top 10 hit under their belt (or a big swinging tallywacker under their belt)? Hell no. Do any of those p***ies have a house the size of a community college? Do they have an elevator in their home with a full bar? Do they have f**kin' spotlights shining their glory upon the Nashville skyline? The answer again is hell no. So who are you going to listen to? Somebody who had a #34 hit in 1996 and now makes a living doing songwriter conferences or teaching creative writing has no business telling you how to bank them John Rich dollaz, homey. At Mt. Richmore, we do it big. We do it right. We research the Billboard charts and find the common threads that make the morons call their local station and request the latest "my by-God truck has tires bigger than your mama's beer gut" song. Screw originality. And I don't mean make sweet country lovin' to it, I mean, bend it over and give it to originality hard with no KY. You do for you and if you're like me, doing for you is doing for them big face bills. So in summary, think inside the box, write with the zombie masses in mind and tell old stories the same old damn way. Just throw in a few different truck accessories that weren't mentioned on the last top 10 Florida-Georgia Line smash. If you want to be an artist, move to San Francisco and decorate interiors or whatever those people do when they're not tearing down America. America was built on the backs of stupid people and a fool and his money are soon giving that money to me. Believe that, homeslice.
*Not actually written by John Rich.
Labels:
John Rich,
JR's Songwriting Tips,
Satire
Exclusive Shot of Justin Moore on his Radio Station Promo Tour
Labels:
Justin Moore,
Photocrap
The Dark Knight Knows Grammar
Labels:
Batman and Robin,
Florida Georgia Line,
memes
More Country Memes: Skinny Jeans, Merle, etc.
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