Showing posts with label CMT Awards. Show all posts
Showing posts with label CMT Awards. Show all posts

Jun 6, 2017

Top 10 Things I'd Rather Watch Than the CMT Awards

The 2017 CMT Music Awards airs tomorrow night and features Jason Derulo and Luke Bryan,
Chris Lane, FGL & The Chainsmokers, Thomas Rhett, and lots of other bullshit like that, so...

Top 10 (Awful) Things I'd Rather Watch 
Than the CMT Music Awards

10. An old VCR tape from the late 80s where my little brother taped 
Care Bears over the last half of Headbangers' Ball

9. Chris Stapleton literally singing the entire Jackson, TN phone book

8. 3 hours of C-Span's online video archive without the aid of caffeine and if I doze off, it starts over

7. This over and over (warning: it's gross)

6. The English Patient

5. Col. Casper's entire video library
(He's a a loon who claimed Elizabeth Cook is into the occult and Tim McGraw is a member of the Illuminati, among other craziness)

4. Manimal

3. My own minor surgical procedure, while awake

2. Donald Trump and Charles Barkley having a debate about the best condiment

1. A Caillou marathon at full volume

May 10, 2016

CMT Awards 2016 Nominees Announced!!!

Congratulations to all the worthy nominees!

Video of the Year

Cops Reloaded
Steve Austin's Broken Skull Challenge
Last Man Standing
Redneck Island

Male Video of the Year

My Cousin Vinny
Back to the Future
Smoky & The Bandit
Days of Thunder
Party Down South

Female Video of the Year

Raising Hope
Best Portable Charger!
Try Total Gym for $14.95
Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders

Duo/Group Video of the Year

Back to the Future II
Back to the Future III
NASCAR: The Rise of American Speed
You, Me and Dupree

Breakthrough Video of the Year
How to Get LifeLock Protection
The Ed Bassmaster Show
The Dude Perfect Show

Performance Video of the Year

Miss Congeniality
Miss Congeniality 2
Look Younger Than Ever: It's Science, Not Magic
Top Chef: BBQ Edition

Jun 10, 2015

Top 10 Things to Expect for Tonight's CMT Awards

10. Social media going nuts on how good Carrie looks after having a baby/Social media
going nuts over people saying how good Carrie looks after having
a baby/Shaming/Anti-Shaming/Shame-Shaming

9. A joke about tomatoes within the first five minutes

8. David Spade as Joe Dirt being one of the most actually country things/persons on the show

7. Shitheads, douchebags, assholes, and other various and sundry vulgarities

6. The continued assumption that because 25 year olds have rap, EDM, rock, pop, and country on their phones (because certainly, people as old as me couldn't possibly have varied tastes and access to modern technology), they'd like to hear all these genres at the same time

5. The wildly entertaining spectacle of a Russian fellow pushing buttons on stage

4. Cross-promotion, cross-promotion, and more cross-promotion

3. Sam Hunt looking happy and confident because he truly
isn't the least country act on the show for a change

2. Awards handed out for something called "videos" - apparently these are recorded visual representations or performances of songs, and it seems CMT once showed these frequently

1. Two creepy bastards performing a song about boomboxes and Alabama
(and trucks, hotties, dirt roads, and drinking)


Related Posts with Thumbnails