Parody of Walker Hayes' "You Broke Up With Me"

You Broke Up with Me

(Parody of Walker Hayes' "You Broke Up With Me")

Well, I had to choke while I was turnin'

Swerved past the country station

Hell no, it wasn't amazing

Yeah, I heard a song that had beats and the word swagger

Them crackers all sounded lame and all sounded the same

So this is my farewell party, this don't sound like Strait or Charley

You're just pushing pop and rap as country, so you can shove it

No don't come back beggin' for me to bring back my lovin'

You're the fool that made your own bed, I just wanted out of it (Hey!)

I once listened to you a lot

But ain't nobody got time for that all that shit that you've got on

It ain't gotta be country gold

But auto-tune and drum loops ain't the way I roll

So hey, you broke up with me

Yeah, country radio, you broke up with me

Guess money is all you want

Well heart and soul can't be bought

And stop calling it evolution

Save me the excuses, in your heart you know it's wrong

When a song comes on and it's a fake ass hip-hop bore

Don't you feel a little like a whore? 

So this is my farewell party, this don't sound like Strait or Charley

You're just pushing pop and rap as country, so you can shove it

No don't come back beggin' for me to bring back my lovin'

You're the fool that made your own bed, I just wanted out of it (Hey!)

I once listened to you a lot

But ain't nobody got time for that all that shit that you've got on

It ain't gotta be country gold

But auto-tune and drum loops ain't the way I roll

So hey, you broke up with me

Yeah, country radio, you broke up with me

For real y'all, what happened to twang and drawl?

I'm just breakin off some George Jones cold hard truth

It is what it is and you did what you did

I've got some better things to listen to

So this is my farewell party, this don't sound like Strait or Charley

You're just pushing pop and rap as country, so you can shove it

No don't come back beggin' for me to bring back my lovin'

You're the fool that made your own bed, I just wanted out of it (Hey!)

Used to to you a lot

But ain't nobody got time for that all that crap that you've got on

It ain't gotta be country gold

But auto-tune and drum loops ain't the way I roll

So hey, you broke up with me

Yeah, country radio, you broke up with me

Yeah, you broke up with me

Sunday Mornin' Music: George Jones & The Gaithers

Saturday Night Music: George Jones & Merle Haggard "The Way I Am"

Country TwitterFAIL: December '17

Some foul language below.

Really Dumb Country Music Reviews: Dec. '17

These are real reviews from a popular music service.

Dylan Scott

Florida Georgia Line

The Essential George Jones

Walker Hayes

Thomas Rhett

Miranda Lambert - The Weight of These Wings

Kane Brown

Monday Morning Memes: Sam Hunt, Johnny Cash, Cole Swindell

Real Headlines, Fake News: FGL, Mavericks, George Jones

More Monday Morning Memes: Sam Hunt, George & Johnny, Paycheck

You're Not a Real Country Singer!

You're Not a Real Country Singer If...

Your jeans are tight but your name ain't Dwight

You've ever suggested a trap beat to your album's producer

You've spent any amount of time trying to work 

the phrase "poop emoji" into a song @samgazdiak

All your fans need a ride from their parents to the concert... -Eddie Combs

You're more likely to be seen with a Sun Beach tan than a Miller can

You think Bobby Bare is the name of an exotic dancer -Justin Chambers

You haven't left a girl in West Virginia, up there where the green grass grows. 

Another girl in Cincinnati waiting where the Ohio River flows -Anthony Machado

They play your song on country radio @harrymorgan1937

You are certain Hank done it this way -Carl Wallace

Your jeans are tighter than your electronic drum beat @mkleiner2

You have tattoos but no scars -Seth Wilson

Your favorite Patty Loveless song is "Who is Patty Loveless?"

You are Kane Brown @amanda_darlene3

Your name rhymes with "mane crown" -Garrett Dressler

You can't get stoned with your band because it's all computers @Famous_Abell

You have a hype man

You think the Carter scratch is something your DJ does @JuliThanki

You don't say anything at all about mama, or trains, or trucks, 

or prison, or gettin' drunk. -Connor Smith

You sing about Dixie cups. (if you do, you're either a dentist or a toddler) @ryankentm

You can't name 3 George Jones songs but you remember every winner of The Bachelor

You use "how we roll" in a song and your protagonist in the song 

isn't a truck driver. -Michael Crabtree

You think American Aquarium is a nickname for Seaworld @SeanRKent

You'd rather be spayed or neutered than express any negative opinion whatsoever

At least one Backstreet Boy was involved in the 

creation of your latest album. @10lbhammerbp

You think Conway Twitty is just someone The Family Guy made up

Your truck tires are higher than your IQ @Senor_Fern

You think Jason Aldean is "old school".... -Chuck Dye

You can't recite the "third" verse to "Friends in Low Places" @swoletexan

You sing about bars and churches, but haven't been to either one in years

You have backup dancers -BamaDan Ferguson

You think a Telecaster is the guy who reads the news on TV - Seth Wilson

You think Moe Bandy is a rapper featured on Ariana Grande's next single

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Thanks to our Twitter and Facebook friends for the replies!

All others written by Trailer.

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