Showing posts with label Walker Hayes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Walker Hayes. Show all posts

Aug 25, 2022

How to Spot Country Music Misinformation on Twitter


Wrasslin' Country Reaction Gifs #62

When your uncle is giving away all his old country vinyl, but all he has left when you get there is Gary Morris

Trying to wave off the stink when
you get in line behind an Upchurch fan

When you had to review a Lady A album

How bad do you want to put Walker Hayes in a headlock?

Just a swangin'

Let me play you the best Kane Brown song

When she said your tractor's sexy so this is how you show up for every date

Showing up to the Billy Strings show when nobody's heard from you in a month

When Sue finally found his daddy

Aug 19, 2022

Band Plays Pop-Country Pre-Show Music So They’ll Sound Good in Comparison

King Planter, a subpar to average roots rock band out of Alabama has an interesting method for making their fans believe them a stronger musical force than they actually are. Instead of the usual Tom Petty, Emmylou Harris, or Waylon Jennings other bands of their ilk might play over the PAs for pre-show music, King Planter plays modern pop-country.

“It works like a charm,” laughed bassist Pete “Pal” Wasserstein. “We irritate the hell out of the fans with 20 minutes of Walker Hayes and Florida-Georgia Line before we come on stage, so that our admittedly ‘just okay’ musicianship and songs blow them away.”

“They were awesome!” said a fan walking out of King Planter’s recent Mobile show. “I don’t know what it was, but their sufficient musical abilities and reasonably passable songwriting just sounded on a whole new level tonight; I don’t know what it was!”

The four-piece update the “Lowered Expectations” Spotify playlist weekly, adding anything that’s the latest snap-beat sappy song hitting the country charts or the most annoying viral country-rap song on TikTok. This week they added David Morris’ “Carrying Your Love,” a rap song which features an interpolation of the similarly named George Strait hit.

“Oh God, they hate it!” laughed vocalist Jay Henderson. “But after that shit, I sound like Otis Redding or Chris Stapleton compared to that dude, when I’m really just a C- on a good night.”

King Planter, who list The Band and David Allan Coe as their primary influences, have failed to catch on in ‘the scene’ in three years of existence. According to the blog Bama Mericana, King Planter “look the part and check off all the requisite topics in their music, but the lyrics can be best described as reasonable and their playing is ehhh… fair to middling. No offense because it pays better than being in a band, but they’ll be hanging sheetrock in 9 months.”

All this might be so, but crowds are growing lately thanks to their unique modus operandi. “Word of mouth, baby!” said an excited Wasserstein, surveying the tens of fans in attendance at their Big Star Tavern show in Montgomery last night.

At press time, King Planter was about 8 months from disbanding.

Aug 18, 2022

Honest Billboard Song Features: Walker Hayes & Dan + Shay

 *not really from Billboard, obviously. Based on similar pieces in their weekly newsletter.

Parks and Rec Country Reaction Gifs 4

When he says he's seen Florida-Georgia Line in concert one time

Why is Walker Hayes so cringe?

After years of comparing Luke Bryan to toilets and other gross stuff...

When he changes the station from Outlaw XM to The Highway

I don't care if the Zac Brown Band is putting out better music now, after The Owl...

Tell me an underrated Strait song then amble away

Tell me what Sam Hunt music sounds like

The greeting when a female artist does a radio station visit

If Morgan Wallen is playing at an outdoor festival

Aug 11, 2022

Number of Co-Writers to Crappiness of Song Ratio 2

 Did this back in 2013. Not an exact science and honestly just cherry picking for clickbait ...many of the best songs were written by 2-3 people, but who cares when you're deriding committee written dreck?

Richard Pryor Country Reaction Gifs

Tim McGraw and Kenny Chesney walking into the jail cell for drunkenly riding a police horse

Me waiting on somebody to say "anything but country"

Country roads, take me home to the place I belooooo

If they drive a squatted truck blaring Morgan Wallen, how big is "it?"

A redneck's reply any time they see Dan + Shay mentioned online

Luke Bryan at 60 when somebody asks him how long he'll keep singing about college girls

When you're in prison and see Johnny Paycheck walk in

When the on hold music is Walker Hayes

When you're talking Ryan Bingham music with some ladies and they start saying some horni stuff about him


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