Farce the Music: Wrestlemania

Feb 9, 2024

Jelly Roll to Step in for Injured CM Punk at Wrestlemania

Pop-country supernova Jelly Roll has a lot of irons in the fire these days, but his latest may be the hottest one to handle. Mr. Roll, a longtime wrestling fan who has appeared on WWE television a couple of times before, has been announced as a participant in a match at the upcoming Wrestlemania event in Philadelphia.

The singer/songwriter/rapper/celebrity known for his genre-blending styles and “no sir I don’t know where you can find some copper” tattoos sees his career on the upswing lately. He has appeared on a multitude of awards shows and other related programs, has racked up hit after hit, and even delivered big time at a passionate appearance before the Senate(!!).

But this is a different animal altogether. At the WWE Wrestlemania kickoff in Las Vegas yesterday, Roll, real name Jason DeFord, was announced for an as-yet unannounced match at the event. CM Punk, a top tier performer at WWE, recently tore his triceps at a previous event, and the company felt it needed to bring in some more star power to shore up the card of the two-night extravaganza.

While Jelly Roll won’t necessarily be facing CM Punk’s presumed opponent in Seth Rollins, he is training for any possibility. At WWE’s Orlando Performance Center, DeFord spent many days in the last few months learning back bumps, rope running, and “selling.” One anonymous trainer told us things were going okay, but he was at least better than Snooki and Colin Jost in the ring.

“Woo, it’s been a grind!” said DeFord. “This has been harder than the chore of making people take me seriously due to my name being a pastry.” The large framed singer says trainers Shawn Michaels and Steve Corino have pushed him towards a “big man offense.”

“I won’t be doing any moonsaults or 450 splashes, naw I’mma be doing the Dusty Rhodes or Rikishi-style fight, bring the pain.” laughed Jelly. “But no way in hell will I be wearing Rikishi’s outfit in Philly.”

At press time, Jelly Roll had just tweaked his back trying to power-bomb Scotty Too Hotty.