Aug 15, 2011
Aug 14, 2011
Snap Judgments: Promo Only Country Radio August '11
In this edition of Promo Only Country Radio, it has finally happened. There's almost nothing here that actually qualifies as country, in my book. There's pop, there's hair metal-esque power balladry, there's rap. We've already reached the mono-genre that Triggerman at Saving Country Music talks about all the time. Sad, but true.
Click song titles to listen.
Hard to listen to any of her songs without bias now. Sure, she's no Chris Brown, but her name still carries some baggage. This is an inspirational pop tune, a la what she used to put out a lot (huh huh huh - you said "put out a lot") after "Blue." She's in fine voice here. It's not a bad song, probably good enough to return Leann to the upper realms of the charts. Not something I plan to listen to again, but it won't make me change radio stations.
C+
I like his voice. First time I've actually heard it. This is a power ballad. Poison with a twang. I like it in a guilty pleasure sort of way but I can't, in good conscience, give a really high rating to a non-country song released as a country song.
B-
Steve's settled into this groove of earnest songs that don't have much spark, but do carry plenty of honesty. This is a non-flag-waving tune about a soldier returning from, presumably, the Middle East, and hoping to ease back into real life. It's very strong lyrically. There's an unspoken fear underlying the narrative that maybe his family doesn't need him as much as he needs them right now and that's heartbreaking. Good stuff, maybe a little too down-tempo to be a big hit but who knows?
B+
More pop country. Not grabbing me at all. Yawn. Bouncy and uplifting I guess, but I wasn't paying much attention. That's what country radio is counting on!
C-
I've heard this song many times, so this isn't a snap judgment. Cost of Livin' is an awesome song, far and away the best commercial country single of 2011, possibly the best in recent years. If you don't like it, I don't like you. If it doesn't reach the top 5, I'm done with country radio, other than making fun of it. This is a signature song of our times.
A+
A double-entendre stretched into a 3 minute country song. It is country, so there's that going for it. Going down, rod in her hand, pretty pink bobbers... yeah this is about fishing. Quite honestly, this is as dirty as anything 2 Live Crew ever put out... and your kids will be singing along to it. Disconcerting in my book. Kinda catchy but I can't get behind this at all.
D
Yep, still the worst thing I've heard in recent memory. Insert humorous comparison to feces here: _____ See this review.
F
This has a different feel to it, more organic than most of what's on the radio. It reminds me a little of "Lover, Lover" a little, but more uptempo. If country must stray from its roots, I suppose this is an acceptable road to take.
B
You want to know why there are hardly any females on the country charts? Because EVERYTHING new that comes out sounds just like this. Girls, quit following... we need some leaders.
D
Idol's runner-up delivers a "mama" song much better than Idol alum superstar Carrie Underwood's recent one. Surprisingly, this is one of the few country-sounding songs on this collection. I think I hear fiddles somewhere in there. Good voice. Solid debut.
B-
Speaking of Carrie... here's her latest, a soap opera-ready power ballad with former-neo-traditionalist Brad Paisley that ain't bad but ain't much. Huge hit that'll be all but forgotten a year from now.
C
It's sad when I was actually looking forward to this song to break up the monotony. Ugh. Not good. Colt still can't rap. The vocals are so strangely processed that it barely sounds like Craig Morgan singing the hook. Colt still can't rap. Did I already say that? This is the hick hop version of one of Eminem's songs about his daughter. Positives: nice message, country instrumentals. Negatives: everything else.
D+
Taking a cue from Chris Young, Jerrod re-releases a single he already put out. In fact, I already reviewed it on one of these Promo Only write-ups. Happily, it has grown on me since the last time I reviewed it. Sadly, it's still not anything special.
B-
I like Scotty's voice and the fact that he says he plans to "stay country," blending Conway and Merle into his modern sound gives me hope for him and the genre as a whole. However, his first one out of the gate is too cheesy for me to even listen to, much less enjoy. The fact that the hook is an unintended double-entendre for wang size is just embarrassing. 10 years ago, you'd have been labeled a perv for interpretting it that way but these days... with even news websites using dirty double-meaning headlines.. you have to be cognizant of every possible meaning, intended or not.
C-
Already tanked, and for good reason. While I have a guilty desire for B&R to come back with something as shamefully catchy as "Ride a Horse," it's not looking likely. This is a lunk-headed piece of crap. Not clever, not catchy, not anything. I thought John Rich was a big time songwriter. You're only as good as your last hit. He's gonna be auctioning off Mt. Richmore bottle by bottle in no time at this rate. This is garbage.
D-
Today is not your day, Shania. Boring. Nearly unlistenable inspirational dreck. I didn't expect anything remotely sounding like Tanya Tucker out of Ms. Twain, but this is ridiculous. Apparently Mutt Lange was the mad puppet-master behind Shania's success, because if this is any indication of what we might hear from her from this point on, she's done.
D-
What more is there to say? I've run this song into the ground and still no one gave a shit. It hit number one like I knew it would. I'm done here.
D-
Aug 12, 2011
R.I.P. Jani Lane
The first rock concert I ever saw was Warrant opening for Motley Crue, so the passing of Jani Lane affects me quite a bit more than the recent passing of Amy Winehouse. Jani was a troubled soul who seemed to have a gentle heart. Here's his former band, Warrant with "Uncle Tom's Cabin," an oddly named but pretty cool tune.
YouTube Gems: Rodney Crowell
Thanks to @morningvent for sending me this fantastic video from Rodney Crowell (with Steve Earle apparently on guitar).
Aug 11, 2011
Reginald Spears
Due to continued popular support of his fake news stories - especially the Walmart one - over at Country California, I thought I'd introduce those of you who may not know him to Reginald Spears, local country fan. Reggie is a good ol' boy. He hates pop country. He curses a lot. He enjoys gardening. He is known to resort to mild violence. He is a 225 average bowler. He likes to drink. He is happily married. He has a long police report. He loves real country. He has no filter between his mind and mouth. He would be a revolutionary, if he knew what that meant. If that interests you in finding out more, check out these tales of his misadventures.He has a Twitter account on which he delivers foul-mouthed take-downs of country posers.
Here are some reports of his exploits:
Aug 10, 2011
Brad Paisley Parody - "Rewind Me"
Rewind Me
(A Parody of Brad Paisley & Carrie Underwood’s “Remind Me”)
I didn’t care if I wasn’t cool
Songs about life and heartbroke fools
Cheatin’ and dyin’ and old barstools
What happened to three chords and the truth?
Now all my songs are sounding the same
As genres with completely different names
I miss the tunes I spun back then I wanna go back there again
Been so long bet you forget the things that you should expect
Rewind me, rewind me
Stop it with the pickup trucks, Old Hank is frowning from above
Rewind me, rewind me
Remember the Possum breaking your heart
Jerry Reed raising hell on his guitar
The Man in Black used to walk that line
But Nashville's gone and lost its spine
Do you remember how I used to sound
Before they upped the volume, put the fiddles down
Rewind me, dammit, rewind me
Where’s the country you used to love?
The grit and the twang that you miss so much
Rewind me, please please, rewind me
I want the steel to play
On me, country radio
Oh, if you still love me
Don't let heritage go
Won't you rewind me, rewind me
Do you remember the way it was?
Yeah, back when money wasn't the driving force
Rewind me
Yeah, rewind me
I didn't have anything to prove
Country's what you are not the words you use
Rewind me, oh, baby, rewind me
Yeah, you’d tune in to hear genuine hurt
Or drink with me at the bar after work
Rewind me
Wish you could rewind me
Oh, go on, rewind me, baby, rewind me
Yeah, I should be real as that Delta dirt
Oh, yeah, rewind me
Lord, rewind me
This is Not an Eric Church t-shirt design
Clearly, I'd never post an Eric Church t-shirt design here. I wouldn't want his legal team to send their robots after me. So, Pushkar at Grayzone.com, please consider this my removal of the Eric shirt (which isn't/wasn't actually a shirt, never made me a dime, and never cost Eric a dime).
Aug 9, 2011
Aug 8, 2011
Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist Reviews: Rich O'Toole - Marijuana and Jalapenos
Trailer has me listening to a song about illicit drugs right after I wrote my sermon for Sunday? He is a twisted individual who needs counseling and prayer.
First a quick story. Last summer I discovered a water hose attached to the hydrant at my church so I followed it into the woods. There was another hose attached to that and another to that and so on. 150 yards down in the woods I came upon a crop of tall plants I didn't recognize. Being the shrewd individual I am, I figured if someone was watering it, it must be valuable. I don't want nobody making money off of my church besides Jesus, so I cut the plants down and pulled them out on tarps and loaded 'em in my truck. Before I pulled out of the parking lot to go put them in the dump, my son in law drove up with a wild look on his face. He asked what I had in the truck and I told him. He took a look and his eyes got wide. "That's weed, Larry!" he exclaimed. How he knew this I do not know, but I took him at his questionable word. "That's evil stuff, we should burn it" I told him. Despite his pleas to let him get rid of it himself, we took it down to the gravel pit and set it ablaze. We stood there watching it for a few minutes and soon found that we just couldn't leave. We started laughing and joking for a while. That was the only day I enjoyed the company of my son-in-law, proving mary wanna is an evil, evil drug. Needless to say, we both gained about 10 pounds in the next couple of days.
Anyhoo, any song that pledges its love of this disreputable botanical project of Satan himself is not to be listened to more than once. Drugs are bad, thus saith the Lord. And a drug that comes from Mexico and other subpar nations must be reeking with germs and dirt and siesta bugs. No wonder mary wanna makes you lazy!
This Tool fella must have quite an addiction to the wacky weed if he feels the need to broadcast it to impressionable young Texans wearing skull t-shirts with bottle openers in the hems. How they have the energy to throw their fists in the air and shout "whoo" after "burning a blunt" escapes me. After my prior incident, I just laid on the couch watching Swamp People and eating pizza bites for 12 straight hours. My wife nearly called in an exorcist.
Also, Mr. O'Toole says the two items mentioned in the title are his "two favorite things." Really, Richie? Really? What about Jesus? Where does he rank on the list? What about the love of a good Christian woman? What about hard work? Surely one can't receive all the nutrients they need from a hot pepper and a puff on a "reefer."
This is yet another dispicable, dirty, feeble-minded country music song. Jesus wept again when this perverse drivel was written and sung in a studio.
Cheech and Chong are to be pitied, not to be held up as some sort of "cannabis" deities.
The jalapeno part I'm okay with. It takes a lot of hot sauce to make mama's cooking taste good. Can I get a Amen?
Anyway, another review another
F
Aug 7, 2011
A Closer Look: Brantley Gilbert
Rising country singer/songwriter Brantley Gilbert has a grungy biker style going on. In this photo he sports a rebellious looking skull shirt, tattered jeans and a wallet chain. Take a look:
And now, let's see what a closer look reveals:
Aug 5, 2011
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