Foul language warning
Oct 29, 2019
Oct 28, 2019
Oct 27, 2019
Oct 26, 2019
Archives: Fun With Google Searches ft. Taylor Swift, Luke Bryan, BG, etc.
ORIGINALLY POSTED MAY 20, 2013
Fun With Google Autocomplete
These are actual results from Google Instant (the autocomplete feature on their searches).
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| Pants. I think the answer is pants. |
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| Come on, she's pregnant. And her name isn't Lady Antebellum. |
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| Hey, they said it ...not me. |
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| No, she's pretty much perfect except for that one night with Martina McBride at the Chippendales' show. |
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| I thought this was a joke until I saw that the CDB used to cover this in concert. I still think it's a joke... |
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| Probably not. |
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| Yes, Gary gave birth to Hunter himself. |
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| No comment. |
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| No, but her fans like poop in their ears. |
Oct 25, 2019
Country Singer Craft Beers
*yeah some of them are "country" singers
Mitchell Tenpenny’s White Bruh Hard Seltzer
Not beer, but sold in the beer section.
Not beer, but sold in the beer section.
Old Dominion Sweaty Sour
Hints of body odor, vending machine cologne, and green apple Lifesaver.
Hints of body odor, vending machine cologne, and green apple Lifesaver.
Creeps up on you.
Shooter Jennings’ Low Life Lager
Pretty damn good, but only comes in pony bottles.
Sturgill Simpson Altered Beast
Tastes like a different style of beer every time you take a sip.
Tastes like a different style of beer every time you take a sip.
Zac Brown’s Angry EDM Ale
“Every time I get a new swig, I gotta get a new swig.”
So bitter and poorly made, Zac’s the only one who likes it.
Dan + Shay’s
Minus
Non-Alcoholic Beer
Way too sweet and beer without alcohol isn’t beer.
Album Review / Ottoman Turks (s/t)
By Matthew Martin
Ever wondered what it would sound like if Iggy Pop and the Stooges had been born south of the Mason-Dixon line? Well, look no further than Fort Worth, Texas's Ottoman Turks. With a sound as much garage rock as it is country, this seems like that kind of band that could win over the staunchest of Dads who don't "get" their kids' taste in music. From the apathetic Southern drawl to the snaking slide guitar and driving drum beats, this is definitely music for Saturday nights.
The Ottoman Turks first came to my attention due to some posts by their guitarist who happens to be the incomparable Joshua Ray Walker. The band had been playing on and off together for the last few years but due to a few conflicting schedules never really did anything more than play a few shows whenever they got back together. However, in the last year or so they decided to finally get this album out there. And for that, I couldn't be happier.
The album starts with the perfectly named and played, "Apathy." With the slide guitar slinking around the whole song, it's hard not to feel entranced. It's the kind of song you want to open up a beer and just let it wash over you. The album then breaks into my personal favorites- "Snake Song" and "Glass Bottles." These are perfect encapsulations of the Ottoman Turks. You can hear the party in the songs and you can hear the slight danger. But, you can also sense that note of that sadness that makes country music so endearing and relatable.
Then there's the almost pure garage rock "OCP." A song about fighting. A song definitely more at home on Funhouse than Ol Waylon but feels so uniquely Ottoman Turks. This song even has a pretty sweet drum solo. What's not to love?! Seriously, the last half of this album is one long party. It's worth the price of admission.
The whole album more or less bleeds into each other almost feeling like one long live set. It's a production technique that I am quite fond of. For a band with one album, I feel they have pretty distinct sound. If I were to turn on the radio and hear more garage rock country, I'd immediately assume it was Ottoman Turks. I can only guess what these songs would sound like live. I imagine the smell of sweat, booze, and cigarettes. I imagine dancing and all around rowdiness. But, most of all, I imagine an awesome time. I hope these dudes make it up to D.C. sometime. And, if you live in the Fort Worth area, you oughta go see em. Until then, go get the album and crank that shit up loud.
Ottoman Turks is available on Amazon, Apple Music, etc.
Thomas Rhett to Dress Up as Country Singer For Halloween
Pop singer Thomas Rhett is looking for a costume for a Halloween party this weekend. He’s already chosen the theme - country singer - but he’s searching for the perfect presentation, visiting thrift stores and western wear outlets across Nashville.
“I did a Google image search for ‘country singer’ and it came back with lots of western hats and boot-cut jeans and stuff,” says Rhett. “That’s so foreign to me - it’s always enlightening to see how other cultures live!” He tries on a huge foam cowboy hat but quickly returns it to the rack. “If they had it with a flat brim maybe.”
Rhett’s day to day wardrobe usually includes hip t-shirts, fitted pants, and high-dollar sneakers while his stage presence leans more toward tropical wear, varsity jackets, and custom denim. The aesthetics of country music fashion are a world away from his typical flair, but he’s digging it. “Ha, they call this a nude suit, I believe,” laughs Thomas, holding up a rhinestone and flower covered blue jacket. “I think old country dudes like Jeb Pierce and Porter Ladner used to wear these… such swag!”
After a couple of hours, Rhett has narrowed his selections down to an all black Johnny Cash-inspired ensemble or a Hank Sr. style outfit. “Did you know Hank had a father who was also a country singer?” asks Rhett.
Still undecided at press time, Rhett seems excited about the impact he’ll make when he steps into the party as someone so different from himself. “They won’t even recognize me.”
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