Showing posts with label Backstreet Boys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Backstreet Boys. Show all posts

Dec 18, 2018

10 Worst "Country" Songs of 2018


1. Walker Hayes - 90s Country
Walker seems like a nice guy. He has kind eyes. I don't wanna harp on the guy, but as the youths of 2018 said "this ain't it." Most artists I don't care for show me at least one trait that makes me think they in some way deserve the success they've achieved. With Walker I'm not sure - he's nice? This song isn't nice. It barely qualifies as a song. It's certainly not country and bears no resemblance whatsoever to the 90s country songs it calls out, other than the fact that it uses the same words of the English language. This is bad. Embarrassingly bad. Somebody should hire Walker into marketing or management or artist development or something, because singing/songwriting doesn't seem to be his thing, and he seems like a swell fellow.

2. AJ McLean - Back Porch Bottle Service
Just stop. You're still making plenty off Backstreet Boys tours and their catalog of music, so leave the country music to the …uh, dudes who talk-sing about 'girls' over snap beats? Forget that part. Just know that this is subpar. Extremely subpar.

3. Keith Urban - Gemini
We (those of us who like actual pop-country that has a firm grip on the roots of country) lost Keith a long time ago and he keeps journeying farther into the ether with garbage like this. Stupid ass lyrics, soulless music ...and I'm just done with Nicole Kidman's husband. 

4. Parmalee - Hotdamalama
No trash talking is needed here.

5. Mitchell Tenpenny - Bitches
This guy sucks. I can't stand Kane Brown, but at least Kane's music occasionally puts on some country window dressing. Mitch here is pure pop music, or R&B lite, to be more exact. He sings like John Mayer with strep throat. Oh yeah, and he saw fit to foist a song about 'bitches' into the "country" world. Unfortunately for the world, it looks like 10cent is gonna be here for a while. 

6. Dustin Lynch - Good Girl
If I'm curiously listening to mainstream country radio (which is rare nowadays), as soon as I hear Dustin's voice, I'm out, and this song's the biggest offender. Pointless drivel. Not even gonna get into his missed potential - that's all in the past. Lynch is pop music for teenage girls who change the station from "Mo Bamba" when their dad walks into their room to make sure they're doing homework.

7. Mitchell Tenpenny - Drunk Me
See #5 but this one was a hit single. This guy is the worst.

8. Dylan Scott - Hooked
He might look 39, but he's 29 and despite the fact that he's been trying at country radio for 4 years now, somebody saw fit to vote him one of the New Faces for next year's CRS conference. Nothing to see here. Just cookie cutter BS from a tall dude who gets comments on YouTube like "hes ssooooosssoooo hotttt."

9. Sam Hunt - Downtown's Dead
I don't care for Sam's music, but at least most of his previous songs had something of a catchy melody. This is ear torture. I'd rank it higher (lower?) but it was such a flop, Sam stayed on hiatus. That's a nice silver lining and drops this tune down the rankings. 

10. Uncle Kracker - Floatin'
He's Uncle Kracker.

Jun 7, 2018

Five CMT Awards Memes

Sesame Street Country Reaction Gifs

Trying to think of a good Sam Hunt song...

Luke Bryan, Kane Brown, Russell Dickerson, Mitchell Tenpenny, FGL, Old Dominion, Sam Hunt, Kelsea Ballerini.
How many of those acts suck?

When you listen to thirty seconds of Backstreet Boy AJ McLean's "country" song...

Why do you like hick-hop, Oscar?

Walker Hayes drops by Sesame Street

Something you'll rarely say while listening to modern country radio

Luke Bryan's last single was pretty decent.
Is the new one good?

Hell naw we can't listen to Juice Newton, Big Bird.

Jun 29, 2017

WWE Country Reaction Gifs 23: Isbell, Ricky Van Shelton, etc.

Jason Isbell looking at the country albums charts like...

When your kid would rather listen to Imagine Dragons 
and Chainsmokers than Turnpike Troubadours

Ricky Van Shelton done got swole!

Hey, you wanna hear the new Walker Hayes song?

 Hey man, did you borrow my Loretta Lynn records?

Critiquing Luke Bryan...

 When somebody says your bald head 
reminds them of Cole Swindell

 Backstreet Boys and FGL have the #1 country song?

Apr 6, 2017

The Walking Dead: Country Reaction Gifs

You're going to a Kane Brown concert?

When the car you find during the apocalypse
has a Luke Bryan album stuck in the CD player

 Hey Rick, remember when you said George Jones sucks?

You're a kid, Carl. You wouldn't like Sturgill Simpson.
Somebody's trying to tell you how the Backstreet Boys
was the best part of the ACMs

You broke my Red Headed Stranger vinyl?

When you pick up your car from the mechanic and 
the radio is on the mainstream country station


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