Showing posts with label Dustin Lynch. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dustin Lynch. Show all posts
Sep 29, 2020
7 More Parody Album Covers: Hank Snow, Burt Reynolds, FGL, etc.
Aug 21, 2020
Mainstream Country Festival With No Singers Draws 30,000
What if you threw a country music festival and no artists came? Well that’s what happened just outside Pembroke, GA this past weekend, and the event drew an estimated 30,211 drunken revelers.
DirtyFest, a music festival promoted as “a day of tunes, beer, and buds,” took place this past Saturday without a stage and without a single country music artist performing, yet snarled county traffic and filled a hay field with throngs of fans.
“It was lit.” said ‘event promoter’ Jake Chadderson. “Been bored as s**t for 7 months so I just figured we’d get some folks together and party!” He said that the idea was to recreate a country music festival to such a degree that nobody would even notice there wasn’t anybody singing up on stage.
“Me and my boys never watch the concert anyway, and we couldn’t afford anybody we’ve heard of to play, so f*** it, we just had a throwdown.” said Chadderson. “They don’t even play Lil Uzi Vert or Post Malone at country concerts, so this was better anyway. We just had big speakers up all over the place playing our Spotify playlists.”
To get the true ambiance of a country festival, vendors sold $9 tallboys and $5 waters, overpriced undercooked sausage dogs, and $40 t-shirts. There were plenty of mud holes, long lines for the few port-a-potties, and lax security.
Festival goers reported multiple fights during the event’s 7 hour running time. “It was just like a normal country festival,” laughed Karyn Lowe of Smyrna. “Twerking, fighting, drinking… whooo! Just like my last Luke Bryan show or whoever that was.”
Many attendees didn’t even seem to realize there were no bands or singers. “You’re bulls******* me. I know I saw Kane Brown playing,” said Randy Kettering of Tallahassee. “I mean, I just go to shows to get b****es so I don’t really pay attention, but my boy told me Dustin Lynch played a good set on the South stage. But he was pretty drunk, so…”
Chadderson told us the $79 ticket was to cover the insurance for the event. “And the prize money for the Tik Tok W.A.P. dance challenge.”
Aug 20, 2020
WWE (& AEW) Country Reaction Gifs 43: Chris Jericho Edition
Me, listening to country radio for 15 seconds
Latest Luke Bryan song?
When Tyler Childers looks at his album sales
When somebody asks to get on Shooter Jennings' guest list and adds "I'll bring some Willie's Reserve"
Dustin Lynch telling you about his music
When a guy walks by wearing a Kane Brown t-shirt
"Morgan Wallen is the future of country music"
How do you make Luke Combs cry?
When your Americana duo gets tired of wearing t-shirts, plaid, and jeans
Aug 3, 2020
More Monday Memes: Kane Brown, Travis Tritt, Dustin Lynch
Labels:
Country Radio,
Dustin Lynch,
Kane Brown,
memes,
Satire,
Spongebob Squarepants,
Travis Tritt
Jul 30, 2020
Jul 29, 2020
They've Run Out of Stuff to Talk About
Labels:
Cody Jinks,
Coronavirus,
Dustin Lynch,
Florida Georgia Line,
Jason Aldean,
memes,
Satire,
Thomas Rhett
Jul 24, 2020
Record Store Looted, Luke Bryan Albums Untouched
Portland’s Portobello Records near Laurelhurst Park was ransacked and looted on Thursday night during the ongoing protests and unrest occurring in the city. The store was reported to be nearly a total loss.
Owner Jason Anderson reported damages in upwards of $67,000. Shelves were overturned, walls were vandalized, records were stolen, Five Finger Death Punch t-shirts were burned, and the cash register was emptied of its entire $1.45.
“They left every single CD and vinyl record of Luke Bryan untouched though,” laughed Anderson. “Usually we just sell those to tourists anyway, but he’s not thaaat bad, right?” He told us there was even a polite letter scrawled in blood on the Bryan records that said simply “No thanks.”
Besides the country hunk’s records, every other CD, cassette tape, vinyl, and even a few 8-tracks were stolen from Portobello. That includes Creed, Nickelback, Soulja Boy, Hoobastank, Lil Xan, LMFAO, 6ix9ine, Puddle of Mudd, and even Coldplay. “I could have resold a lot of leftovers on eBay or some other secondary market, but I mean, if they wouldn’t even steal Luke Bryan albums, I guess they’re worthless,” said Anderson, rummaging through the debris.
“Oh, actually here are a few other records they didn’t take,” said Anderson, finding a full crate under some rubble. “Florida-Georgia Line, Dustin Lynch, Thomas Rhett… weird.”
The looters, believed to be one group pretending to be Antifa and another group pretending to be right wingers, both intending to frame the other, were not identifiable in store security footage. If you have information that could lead to an arrest in the case, contact Portland Crimestoppers.
Labels:
Creed,
Dustin Lynch,
Fake News,
LMFAO,
Luke Bryan,
Puddle of Mudd,
Satire,
Soulja Boy,
Thomas Rhett
Jul 16, 2020
How I Met Your Mother Country Reaction Gifs
Me, halfway through a Lady A song
"Hey, you wanna go to this Chase Rice drive-in concert with me?"
When Patrice says she loves country too, like Dustin Lynch and Kane Brown.
Ray Wylie Hubbard?
After I listen to the new Lori McKenna album next week
When you speak to each other in Tyler Childers lyrics
♫ ♬ I'd take her home and if her parents weren't around
She'd bring me in and give me some
Bring me in and give me some ♫ ♬
When you can tell he's a Dan + Shay fan
Jul 13, 2020
Monday Morning Memes: Dustin Lynch, Luke Bryan, Ray Wylie Hubbard
Labels:
Dustin Lynch,
Luke Bryan,
memes,
Ray Wylie Hubbard,
Satire,
Wylie Lama
Jul 10, 2020
Jul 9, 2020
Good Will Hunting Country Reaction Gifs
Trying to figure out how Sam Hunt is country
When your parents brought you up on bro-country and you need therapy
When your boy didn't graduate high school but he knows what real country music is
"I bet your wife wears Florida-Georgia Line t-shirts"
How you reply to that friend who listens to Dustin Lynch
When she sees his Waylon tattoo
If you've only listened to pop-country's version of sad songs
And a bonus...
Jul 8, 2020
Jul 2, 2020
WWE (& AEW) Country Reaction Gifs 42
When somebody says "Hey this new Dustin Lynch song is actually pretty good"
Damn, Carrie Underwood has gone way past keying trucks
When you still don't forgive your buddy for going to see Tyler Childers without you
What do you think of Luke Bryan's "One Margarita?"
How mad I get when I hear .03 seconds of mainstream country radio
Is this what Little Texas meant when they sang "You've got to kick a little?"
I miss live shows
When the FGL fan wears out their welcome in your home
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