Showing posts with label OMG Reviews. Show all posts
Showing posts with label OMG Reviews. Show all posts

Mar 19, 2015

OMG Reviews: Brittany Says Goodbye

"Take Your Time"

Hey guys, it's been a while! I'm sad (but more happy) to say this is going to be my final review for Farce the Music. It's been fun, but I'm 17 now, about to head off to community college in fall and I just don't have the time or inclination to review country songs any more. I'm so over talking about Tyler Hubbard's abs or Keith Urban's old man appeal. My tastes have matured. I'm more into dance music these days, though I'll always love my Hunter Hunter Hunter!

For my final review, I'm going to cover Sam Hunt's "Take Your Time." OMG! (one last girlish squeal!) Sam is a hottie. He's tall and in shape and seems to be so smart too. Now, Trailer and all his lame-ass buddies are going to tell you that this song IS NOT COUNTRY (spoken in an authoritarian, down-their-nose tone of voice - because you couldn't possibly make up your mind for yourself, LOL). However, I'm going to tell you that this is what country is these days, and if you don't like it, I suggest you pull out your dusty-ass vinyl records and weep in your whiskey to some old Johnny Cash (yes, I know he isn't Jimmy Cash now) or Waylon. That stuff is never coming back except on blogs by 40-year-old dudes and at your local listening room when Sturgill Simpson comes to town. Get some counseling if you can't deal.

"Take Your Time" is partially spoken, partially sung, and entirely sexy. Sam takes on the role of a gentleman who just wants to chat up a lovely lady. He doesn't want to be the typical dude who just wants to get in them Vicky Secrets. Now look, we can cut the BS here. I know he's just speaking to my inner Cinderella and it's all a ploy to separate me from my $1.29 or whatever songs cost now, but shiiiiiittttt, it's working. If a dude looking like Sam says "I don't want to go home with you," I'm assuming he's gay in this day and age, but I'm willing to live the fantasy for four minutes. Yeah, buy me a mojito, let's talk about hopes and dream… lol, like I'm ready to get all deep on a Friday night. But whatever, Mr. Hunt. (I'm sorry Hunter!)

Sam talks and sings in a country voice, he doesn't cuss, he's a gentleman, the song is about relationships, kinda…. so in my book, this is a country song. Step your crotchety ass off if you hatin'. That's it. I'm out.

I think my replacement is like, the polar opposite of me, so you "traditionalists" out there should be happy. As for me, I'll be cranking some Drake and Calvin Harris and Zedd and Robin Schulz and studying to become the cutest actuary in the rust belt and not worried about your twangy old asses. But I wish you the best.

Au revoir.

(Five Heart Hands, OMG!)

Sep 17, 2014

OMG Reviews: Florida-Georgia Line - Sun Daze

By Brittany Fant, 15-year-old music fan and aspiring reviewer

Listen here.

OMG this is sooo kewl. Whistling and flip flops and flip cup! What's not to love about this party-time epic!???? That keg gone be flowin'… you know it! I can't drink yet (legally), and beer is gross but that's awesome. I wish they'd make pumpkin spice beer y'all! Did he say "turn up some Molly?" That's a drug, so I'm a little disappointed in FGL, but it's hip to do Molly so whatevs.  It sounds like they're singing "getting my Sundays on" in the chorus, but maybe that's supposed to have a double meaning. These guys are so clever! I think this song might be about smoking marijuana. I've never hit the weed yo, but some of my boyfriends have and they were always so cool and laid back when they did, so it must be okay. LEGALIZE IT SON! My mom would be so disappointed in me if she read this review, but y'all don't tell her okay? This is a catchy song about laying back and taking it all in stride and chillin'. My sweetie Hunter Hayes would never sing a song like this but he's the kind of guy you bring home to mama. FGL are the kind of guys you party with before you get married, LOL. I know Trailer liked FGL's last song "Dirt" but he probably hates this one since he's old and a total buzzkill, but I love it! There's too much bad stuff happening in the world to listen to the mopey crap he likes. I mean, climate change, NFL players doing bad stuff, Kanye telling handicapped people to stand up… there's so much stress and important stuff going on, we all need to just chill and enjoy some happy music and get our "sun daze" on!!!!

I give this 4.5 of 5 heart hands!!

Jun 12, 2014

OMG! Reviews: Hunter Hayes - Tattoo

Brittany Fant, 15-year-old music fan and aspiring reviewer.
(yes, she's eternally the same age now, like Charlie Brown or Bart Simpson)

Hunter Hunter Hunter!!!!!!!! My name is Brittany Fant and it would make a great tattoo! Maybe on your shoulder blade or maybe on your big rippling bicep? PLZZZZ! Oh, this song is so sweet! If I had a boyfriend who'd put my name on a tattoo… well, that would be creepy and I'd drop his clingy tail in a minute. But if HUNTER HUNTER HUNTER wanted to permanently attach my government name to his precious skin, he can go right ahead!! OMG, I'm out of breath. This song is sooo good, if Trailer says one negative thing about it, I will quit writing for him!! I don't care if it's country or what; it's the best song on country radio!! Take your Sturno Simpsons and Jamie Jacksons and whoever else you want to "save country music" and shove 'em, lol!!! Hunter is saving romance and making country radio awesome again! He's not creepy like those Florida-Georgia Line guys and he doesn't rap!! What's not to love? He's the perfect man and I know he will be in the Country Music Hall of Fame in like 5 years! Elvis who? The Beatles? Pfft! Michael Jackson, lol. Garth? Nope! Hunter is a legend in the making and he will be ahead of all those people. "Tattoo" is the best song of all time, and I'm not just saying that so he'll DM me on Twitter.

Of course!
5 Heart Hands!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mar 19, 2014

OMG Reviews: Lee Bains III and the Glory Fires - The Company Man

by Brittany Fant, 15-year-old music fan and aspiring reviewer

Listen Here

My ears!!! OMG this is so friggin' loud! I usually review country and pop here, but Trailer gave me this rock song to listen to for this write up and now I have a headache. I read somewhere that this band got arrested for being too loud in Texas or something. I mean, that's pretty cool, but maybe Texas was right. The guitars are loud and twangy. The drums are loud and fast. And Lee Bains III sings loud. LOUD LOUD LOUD. It sounds like they're breaking dishes with baseball bats in a garage full of cranked tractors. I don't really know what they're singing about… I mean, a company man, sure. And I heard something about Georgia Pacific… maybe? Don't trust the people who make toilet paper? Why? I guess this might be catchy to some people who like to slam dance at a biker bar or something. My sweetie Hunter Hayes(!!) would probably cry if he heard this song and I can't say I blame him. It hurts. Now, this Lee Bains III guy is kind of cute, to be honest.

Maybe if he'd tone it down a little and sing more about love and dancing and bonfires, these guys might could make it big! Right now though, my ears are ringing and I need an Advil.

I'll give this 2 pair of heart hands since it isn't whiney old country music and Lee is kinda hot, lol.

Jan 30, 2014

OMG Reviews: Tim McGraw - Lookin' For That Girl

by Brittany Fant, 15-year-old music fan and aspiring reviewer

Damn this is good! I almost thought I'd turned on the pop station for a minute and that's cool! I'm sooooo glad all that rednecky twang is almost gone from the country station forever. I mean, I love real country like Shania Twain and Rascal Flatts, but some of their stuff is just too old timey sounding. Now this is what I like! I can almost forget that Tim McGraw is old enough to be my grandfather because he's staying current (and he's pretty hot for an old dude!). From the opening notes, you just know this is gonna be a hot track. Autotuner is kinda weird for country music but Tim has always been an innovator! It sounds good. This song makes me wanna party with my friends and dance around like crazy. Bobbin' my head like what! Drop it down! Is he talking about twerking? That's probably all this song is missing to be the hippest thing on the radio. I don't know what a "body like a honeycomb" is but I'm guessing it's a simile or metaphor (we're learning about those in language class). All you haters don't know what you're missing. This is just fun, but I guess you don't have time for fun while you're listening to whiney old dudes crying about some woman who left them so they're drinking whiskey and leaning their fat gut against a bar somewhere. David Alan Cole??? Get real! Kids don't wanna hear that mess. Get with the program or step off, lol! 

5 heart hands!

Nov 11, 2013

OMG! Reviews: Will Hoge - Strong

by Brittany Fant, 15-year-old music fan and aspiring reviewer

Um, okay. You guys complain about MY FAVORITE SINGERS copying each other and singing about trucks and babes all the time. Hypocrites much? This Hog guy just straight-up stole a song from those Chevy ads that are running during my dad's football games. And did you hear what I said?…a Chevy commercial! So, your darling "authentic" singer-songwriter guy with his perfectly messed-up hair, puppy dog eyes and rarely shaven face has stolen a song from a truck ad!!! How jacked up is that??? You people never shut up about Jason Aldean and Luke Bryan singing about tailgates and country hotties (like me, LOL!). Now, maybe you'll shut your fat, jealous mouths about it! Even this old dude (he's old enough to have been my dad even without appearing on one of those trashy MTV shows my mom loves!) knows where the cash is. Now, the song… is it good? It's okay. It's a little too serious for me to take serious, but his voice isn't too bad. He's no HUNTER HUNTER HUNTER HUNTER(!), but he gets the job done. I just have to go back to the fact that this fellow had enough "huevos" to just watch TV until he heard a song he liked, and then re-record it and put it out to the radio!!! I mean, he didn't even sing it a little differently. This is way worse than Aldean stealing those songs from Brantley Gilbert. I hope Chevy takes your booty to court, Mr. Hog!

For his voice not sucking, I'll give this:
1 Heart Hand!

Aug 1, 2013

OMG Reviews: Luke Bryan - That's My Kinda Night

by Brittany Fant, 15-year-old music fan and aspiring reviewer

Listen here!

Oooh, this is so funky! Luke Bryan is always on the cutting edge of keeping country fresh and cool and this is no exception. “That’s My Kinda Night” pretty much describes my perfect night too! I wonder if Hunter will ever put out a fun song like this? He’s always so serious, lol! But Luke is a jokester and likes to have a good time. Too bad he’s so old or I’d be obsessed with him too! In the first verse, Luke asks his hottie to hand him a beer while they’re in the truck… and since he’s a good role model, I take that to mean that it’s perfectly okay to drink and drive when I'm older! Yay! The chorus makes me sing “winner winner chicken dinner” so it must be a good song! If you don’t like it, you probably think weaving potholders and eating jello molds is fine entertainment. You’re probably old too. You people like Trailer should quit wasting breath and time on the internet complaining about the “death of country music” because you’ve lost. Country music is whatever 15-25 year old country fans say it is, and I say it should be fun! If I want to feel sad, I’ll… uh, hmmm… I don’t ever want to feel any feelings that aren’t positive, so I’ll just keep listening to country radio! I don’t know who T-pain or Conway are, but they must be awesome if Luke Bryan likes them. This is probably a classic song, but it will take a while until we know for sure, but you really can’t go wrong with the combination of trucks, tans, beer and bumping speakers! I’m not old enough to drink and beer is nasty, but I do know that it’s cool! And so is this song. I will be rocking it the rest of the summer!

Five heart hands!

May 9, 2013

OMG Reviews: Hunter Hayes - I Want Crazy

by Brittany Fant, 15-year-old reviewer
Hunter Hunter HUNTER!!!! I am soooo glad this is finally out. True fans like me have been hearing this song on YouTube and at concerts for longer than you have so it makes me so happy that everyone gets to hear it now!!! Oh Hunter, I'll be crazy for you. I hope that girl in the video is just an actress or whatever. Okay, I'm going to contain myself for a minute and try to really review this AWESOME FRIGGIN song.
"I Want Crazy" is a catchy REAL COUNTRY song that reminds me of some Keith Urban songs back when he was hot (he's old now). It's about Hunter coming home off the road to see his long distance love. Then the rest of the song is totally about something else, but who cares? It's Hunter!!! Most of the song is about having a love that isn't boring. I so understand that. The last guy I hung around with and went to the movies with and kissed (Dad still won't let me call it dating) only wanted to watch Lord of the Rings movies over and over. That's boring. I want crazy!!!! So does HUNTER! 3 years Hunter and I'll be able to date you! Anyway, the song is so well written and just great! I wish boys in real life were like HH songs. They all want to have their own life and not worship me like the princess I am, but Hunter knows what women want.
Now that you know how good he is, all you haterz need to step off. Hunter is fine. Hunter can sing like an angel. Hunter can play EVERY INSTRUMENT IN THE WORLD. Even a hurdy gurdy! (Yeah, I Googled that) Hunter can write songs better than Bob Dillon. He even has the stamp of approval from your old, wrinkled hero, MERLE HAGRID! So stop talking junk about my boy. He's the future of real country music and this song proves it!!!

5 Heart Hands!

Feb 26, 2013

OMG Reviews: Jason Aldean - 1994

by Brittany Fant, 15-year-old reviewer

Listen here!

MMYYYY FAVORITTTTTEEEE! Jason is such a good rapper! This song is about the year my parents got married! So cool. I bet they didn't even have awesome country rap songs back then. They were missing out! I'm actually so glad I wasn't even a twinkle in my folks' eyes back then. It was so lame. Their cell phones were like the size of a brick and you couldn't even text on them!!! No internet. And HUNTER HAYES hadn't learned to play guitar yet! What a crappy time to be alive, lol!! But at least this song about that year is so good. All you geezers complaining and saying stuff like "country + rap = crap" need to get a life. All us people who actually buy music on iTunes are voting y'all off the island, lol. Old people, we grew up with awesome bands like Linkin Park and Limp Biscuit so we know good music and we want country to sound young and cool! Jason is kind of old to be rapping, but not as old as Jay-Z so I guess it's okay. At least he's awesome at it. Now, about the song's subject matter. Joe Diffie? I don't know who that is, but his name is fun to say. I Googled him and he had some awful hair!! That's another thing about the old days. They let anybody sing on the radio! They didn't have to be hot or anything. I'm glad that's all changed now!!!! Nowadays, guys care about their hygiene and their abs, thank goodness. I clicked on a couple of Joe Diffie's songs and couldn't get through more than a few seconds. He sings like a hick! I guess it's cool for Jason to get people interested in that guy a little... maybe sell a few mp3's for him (hopefully his record company set it up for him - lol, he's probably too old to know how to use email). Maybe Joe will be able to afford a decent haircut now. At least his name is fun to yell over and over! I love that! Maybe the "Joe Diffie" will take over the Harlem Shake as the cool YouTube dance! I hope Hunter has some rap songs on his new album. He probably has better flow than 2Pac! This is the best time to be alive because music is so awesome. If you don't like "1994," you need to get out your 8-tracks of Waylon Jenkins or something and eat your pistachio pudding. It's never going back the way you want it, gramps.

5 Heart Hands!

Jan 14, 2013

OMG Reviews: Will Hoge - Another Song Nobody Will Hear (ft Wade Bowen)

by Brittany Fant, 14-year-old music fan and aspiring reviewer

Listen to the song here.

Why would you even bother writing a song nobody will hear? That's the first question I have. Are you talking about another song? That's my second question, because if THIS is the song nobody will hear, you FAIL ...LOL. I mean, I wish I didn't hear it, but I did. Both of these guys sound old. Like over 25 or something. They're whining about nobody hearing their songs... well, maybe if they would sing about love or sing as beautifully as Hunter Hayes or Charlie Worsham somebody might want to hear their dumb songs. But instead, they're singing about pain and dreams and junk. YAWNZZZ. I'm 15 years old now (yeah Trailer...about time to update my bio info) and all I care about is love and boyfriends and TMZ and getting my drivers license. I don't even know what pain is, unless you mean when I stubbed my toe answering a text at 2 last night. My dreams include going to a party Friday night if my dad doesn't talk some sense into mom, passing chemistry and getting those pink zebra boots from dELiA's. So spare me your crying about art. Hunter Hayes doesn't worry about art so I don't either. I'll give this song a tiny plus because Wade is kinda cute I guess, for an old dude. Will needs a hairbrush.

You two only rate 1/2 of 5 heart hands. Losers.

Nov 15, 2012

OMG Reviews: Charlie Worsham - Could It Be

by Brittany Fant, 14-year-old music fan and aspiring reviewer

Listen to the song here.

Oh Hunter. You know you'll always be my first love, but I've met somebody. Hunter, you haven't answered any of my emails or replied to my Facebook posts so I need to do for me now. You'll always be in my heart, but Charlie Worsham is my new man. He's got puppy dog eyes and long dark hair and he's so handsome. He can play lots of instruments too, just like you!  And he started young, just like you. Awww, he was soooo cute with those chubby cheeks!

I don't know if that was actual music he was playing with that weird tiny guitar, but he did it real fast and all those redneck people clapped so it must be good! Now, Charlie's all grown up and looks like this:

Swoon. Sorry Hunter, this is my new love!!!!!
and playing music I can kinda get behind! Like this new song "Could It Be." It's a sweet love song that's a little too country for me, but I can just get lost in Charlie's voice and think of his hotness and get through it just fine. He's a good small-town boy with nice manners and he's not a little boy like you, Hunter. When he sings "then again I might just change your name," I just sigh and stare at the ceiling. Ahhh. Charlie played on Taylor Swift's tour so a lot of girls my age got to see him and are probably in love with him too, but he's mine girls!!!! Stand back or get jacked, lol! I'm gonna write a song to send Charlie and hopefully he'll put it on his new album. It's gonna be a love story about a girl who lives in the suburbs and dreams of meeting her Romeo and one day she goes to a concert and he pulls her up on stage and asks her to marry him and she says YES!!! And they have 3 dogs, 2 little boys named Beau and Martin and a 2 story brick house outside of Nashville!!! Please sing it Charlie! Anyway, Hunter, you're so five minutes ago and Charlie is soooooo.... 5 heart hands!!!

Oct 15, 2012

OMG Reviews: Granger Smith - We Do It In a Field

Granger Smith - We Do It in a Field (listen at this link)

by Brittany Fant, 14-year-old aspiring reviewer

This is a pretty good song! Even though they're talking about things I'm too young for, this is the most country song I've heard in a while that I actually like. It's got it all! Trucks, tank tops, beer (ugh, I tried that stuff one time with my ex and it's so EWWWWW), creeks, George Strait (whoever that is), partying! I can't wait till I get my license and get old enough to go on dates so I can do stuff like this! I think he has a double meaning when he sings "we DO IT in a field." LOL. U know what I'm talking about. (going to third base, shhhhh) This ain't no Hunter Hayes song, that's for sure. He's a good boy who doesn't do age-inappropriate things. I LUV U HUNTER!!!!!! 

But Granger is pretty cute too! At least he's not gross like this guy. He sings pretty good too. Not too twangy or any of that crap. We like our country to sing about doing stuff in the country, not sounding like old-timey country, so this is a perfect anthem for all teens and those of us who are ready to partay!!!!! I hope my high school boyfriend has a real truck, you know, a jacked up brand new one with step-sides and chrome wheels and a great sound system! Not one of those crappy old ones that people do work in. He needs to show me off when we go to parties in the field! But it better not be too muddy or have cow-poop or mosquitos or anything. I like to be in the country sometimes, but I don't wanna get it on me, lol. Anyway, I like this song a whole bunch. I can't give it 5 heart-hands because that's reserved for the perfection of U KNOW WHO (and sometimes Taylor Swift).

4 Heart Hands!!!!!!

Sep 10, 2012

OMG Rant: Modern Country Music

by Brittany Fant, 14-year-old music fan and aspiring reviewer

OK, I'm getting sick of all of u and TRAILER(!) picking on the music I like!!! U people are all old and out of touch with what's cool in America these days, so why should I listen to what u have to say? I mean, u listen to stuff that's like sooooo depressing - u need to get on some meds like my mom and cheer up! Jason Eady? Cute, but depressing. Gretchen Peters? OMG, she makes me wanna go to a shrink. Lucero? Even their fast songs are sad and that guy sings like he just ate a Brillo pad or something. What's the deal with u folks? My real life is already hard enuff. I just want my music to make me smile or dance or kiss my boyfriend or punch his ex in her peppy cheerleader face. I'm on the backside of puberty y'all, I need some happy!!! That's why Taylor Swift and Hunter Hayes (<3) and Brantley Gilbert and stuff like that are all that's on my iPod. And that motorboatin' song, LOLZ! I don't even know what that means but my boyfriend laughs his butt off and looks at my chest every time. Listen, Taylor speaks to us girls. I mean, I am NEVER EVER getting back with my ex. All he wants to do is play Assassin's Creed all day and never ever return my texts. What a loser. And my someday boyfriend Hunter Hunter Hunter Hayes!!! He sings the words that every girl wants to hear. I JUST WANT TO BE WANTED! My current boyfriend doesn't say stuff that sweet, but at least he's on the B Honor Roll and he won me a Plants vs. Zombies doll at the fair. Brantley Gilbert kind of scares me, but "U Don't Know Her Like I Do" is my jam. I always change the words to "u don't know him like I do, that boy's my best friend" and just zone out. It's kind of a sad song, but at least there's lots of guitars! All UR Americana stuff just has guitars that aren't plugged in and violins or something. It sounds like an elephant just lost his best friend. And who cares about country? I don't want to hear some redneck from Dogpoot, Tennessee whining about his woman and his whiskey. That's not real life. Real life is texting and flirting and going to see The Possession on Friday night (don't tell my dad) and laying out in the backyard listening to HUNTER HUNTER HUNTER! So, in summary, country music is about what us kids like and the songs we download on OUR iPhones and what we do after the football game when our parents think we're having a sleepover! It's not about what old people like my parents like. George Strait is old enough to be my grandpop, I don't want my grandpop up on stage in tight western jeans singing about love, gross! So all u people over 25, move out of the way or get run over! Go play Pac-man or listen to Guns and Roses or take ur vitamins.

Aug 16, 2012

OMG Reviews: Taylor Swift - We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

by Brittany Fant, 14-year-old aspiring reviewer

I had like honestly been getting sick of Taylor Swift lately. Her song on The Hunger Games was sooo, um, old-timey sounding. Ugh. This is more like it girl!!!!!! For y'all that don't know, I'm single again and this is my song! The chorus has the best lyrics EVARRRRR. And it doesn't sound like crappy old person music. Bravo, Ms. Swift! Or should I say, Mrs. Kennedy? lolz That would be so awesome. Then she could be vice president! I'm a Swiftie again, I admit it. It's like she read my mind or something for this song. And that album cover - she. looks. hot. It's like a Revlon commercial or something. She broke up with a dude who listens to indie music. Good for her!!!! The only people who listen to music that isn't on the radio are losers who are jealous of real talent. This makes me so glad to be flying solo again! Boys always say they'll change but they never do. All they want is one thing!!! That one thing is to play video games with their friends and that's lame. Anyway, Hunter Hayes, I'm on the market again baby!!!!!!!!! Call me! This song rulezzzz.

5 Heart Hands!

Jul 26, 2012

OMG Reviews: Toby Keith - I Like Girls That Drink Beer

by Brittany Fant, 14-year-old music fan and aspiring reviewer

Click here to listen to the song.

I'm 2 young 2 drink beer and Toby Keith is decrepit old so why am I even listening to this? Uhhh, he's such a redneck. He like loves America so much he wants to put a boot up people's booty. That's disgusting. I'm patriotic I guess, but not like that. Maybe if Hunter Hayes wore a pair of red, white and blue skinny jeans, I'd salute Old Glory even more! Hunter, I love yououououououououou!

Sooo, pretty much, this song is about how this greasy old chunky guy likes girls who drink beer. It sounds really country. I mean really really country. Like old country. U know ---> like it came from the 90s or something, when my parents were just out of college. They didn't even have cell phones or the internet or Facebook back then. How did they even make it for more than an hour without going crazy?

This song isn't good. Toby Keith is gross. He looks like one of those guys that gets caught on To Catch a Predator. Like, "Uh, howdy Chris Hanson, I was just here 2 teach this young girl how 2 sing songs about putting footwear in bottoms."

People like Toby Keith and George Strait should just go on and check in2 the rest home and leave REAL COUNTRY MUSIC to the stars of today, like HUNTER HUNTER HUNTER and THOMAS RHETT and HUNTER HUNTER HUNTER!

0 heart hands

Jul 9, 2012

OMG Reviews: Jason Eady - AM Country Heaven

by Brittany Fant, 14-year-old music fan and aspiring reviewer

Here's a link to the album, but DON'T BUY IT IT SUCKS!

What is going on here? This guy is talking bad about country music!!! I'm a new fan of country music and I won't put up with this. Who is he? I don't see his name anywhere on the top 40 songs chart. I do see Hunter Hayes' name!!!! Enough said, Jason. Really, what have you done to be able to put down country music like this? All your songs are sad and your voice is sooooooooooooooooooo depressing. That's not real country music! Real country music is only sad like on one song per album. The rest of it is about partying and love!! And driving around in a truck. You don't have a song on this album about driving around in a truck, so you must be from the city! That's okay, I'm from the suburbs myself, but I have trees in my yard and my dad has a F-150 so I'm real country! Brantley Gilbert is kind of scary but he sings about real country stuff like girls in cut off jeans and Hank, so he's real country. Jason Eady said he just turned 35 on one song. LOL! OLD! No wonder he's talking bad about the AWESOME music on the radio. He's probably playing shuffleboard at the nursing home and complaining about the pistachio pudding being warm. LOL LOL. He's so out of touch, he thinks LMFAO is a toy store. His voice sounds too real - hasn't he heard of autotune???? This album is so depressing I could only listen to like 30 seconds of each song. Except that first one where he disses REAL COUNTRY MUSIC. He is a bitter loser who can't get played on the radio with people who deserve it like Luke Bryan and Jason Aldean. He should listen to some Hunter Hayes and lighten up or learn to play a guitar that's actually plugged in, LOL. OLD! You go girl!

Even though he's decrepit and scruffy, he's kinda cute so I'll give him 1/2 heart hands.

May 15, 2012

OMG Reviews: Gloriana - (Kissed You) Good Night

by Brittany Fant, 14-year-old music fan and aspiring reviewer

I. Love. This. Song!!!  Such a swweeeettttt romantic song about a goodnite kiss! OMG, I can't wait till my daddy says I'm old enough 2 date!!!!! I mean, I've kissed a few times. Not with my new BF yet though, well just lips. He's got a learner's permit, but my dad won't let me ride with him. My mom's just like "whatever." She watches The Bachelor too much. She was just shaking her head and saying "an egg?" when I tried to ask about going 2 see Battleship this weekend. Anyway, this song…. such a good harmony or whatever you call it. They sound so good together. And the boys are cute too, so that's a BIG PLUS! I think they used to have another girl but they kicked her out or something. Maybe they'll kick the other one out so it's just 2 hotties! But don't be jealous Hunter Hayes, I'm saving myself for our marriage day!!!! Maybe we can play this song at our reception! Well, that wdnt rly make sense but still.. it's that SWEET! I'm not sure the band could still b called Gloriana if it was just two boys tho. That sounds a little too gay, but don't take that wrong! I totally support gay marriage! I bet gay guys like this song too!!!! Who wouldn't??????? I LOVE YOU HUNTER HAYES IF YOU SEE THIS, COMMENT ON THE REVIEW AND LEAVE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!

5 Heart Hands!

Apr 10, 2012

OMG Reviews: Eli Young Band - Even If It Breaks Your Heart

by Brittany Fant, 14-year-old music fan and aspiring reviewer

(Listen at this link)

OMG, I don't even understand what this song is about. What is a radio dial? Is that some kind of soap? I mean, this song gives me a happy feeling and the singer has a pretty good voice, but it doesn't make any sense at all. What is a ringing guitar? Why would dreaming break your heart? Uggggghhhhhhh!!!! I think I'll just go back and listen to my sweetie, Hunter Hayes, cuz all of his songs make sense. They're about things that matter like love and breaking up and love. This song seems to be about dreaming about music or something? I just dream about Hunter and One Direction!!! Why would you stand outside of a bar to listen to music? You can just hit play on your iPod or iPad, dummy!!! Again, Eli or whatever his name is, sings pretty good and the song sounds okay but if a song is going to be so hard to understand, it better at least have a dance beat or have somebody rapping in it. He's not even that hot. Strike three, you're out LOL!

I'll be nice and give this song 2 out of 5 heart hands!

Mar 14, 2012

OMG Reviews: Hunter Hayes - Wanted

by Brittany Fant, 14-year-old music fan and aspiring reviewer

(Listen at this link)

Pardon my French but O.M. Freaking G!! This is the best song evar!! If you don't like it, I don't like you!!! Hunter Hayes wants to kiss me and call me his and hold my hand forever? Okay. Next question. Seriously, if you haven't heard this song, what are you waiting for? It's soooo sweet. Soooo good. Way better than Rascal Flatts or whoever people say Hunter sounds like. Those guys are ollllld. Hunter is young and hot and sexy and so talented. He can play any instrument in the whole world.  Even a didjerreedoo or whatever those Austrians play. I bet he could make a harmonica sound sexy. I'm freaking cuz I get to review this song!!! Hunter, I hope you read this… MARRY ME HUNTER! I'm smart and a cheerleader. I'm a good church going girl too. Ohhhh, I'm dizzy. LOL. I feel "Wanted" and it feels great. This song can make any girl feel special, even girls who wear size 14. Or the slutty girls in my art class. Have you ever heard a voice so good in your life?? I haven't. He doesn't sound ANYTHING like Gary Levox and people who say that are just jealous of such a talented hottie. Gary is chunky and like 30 or something. Gross! Hunter is such a better vocalist. He can play guitar better than Keith Urban too. And Brad Paisley too. They're too country anyway. Hunter is the new generation of country music and it's never going back to that twangy crap that Trailer likes. SORRY OLD PEOPLE! 

5 out of 5 heart hands! I'd give it 6 if I could!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Feb 23, 2012

OMG Reviews: Thomas Rhett - Something to do With My Hands

by Brittany Fant, 14-year-old music fan and aspiring reviewer

Ooooooooh! Squeeeeeeal! He is sooo hot! And he's real country too! He sings about fishing, that's all the proof you need that he's country!! He's singing about putting his hands in his girl's pockets and running em through her hair…..swoooooon. I wish I was that girl. He might be a good enough country singer to be right up there with my #1 hottie Hunter Hayes. This song rocks just like a good country song should!!!! And it has some cool hip-hop record scratching or something kewl like that!~ I dunno, I just like it!!!!!!! Great beat! This is going to be a huggggggeeee hit! I can picture myself cruising with my BFFs around the ballfields this summer cranking this awesooooome song. I wasn't a country fan until Taylor Swift…. and then Hunter Hayes… and now Tommy-boy! I guess I'm a real true blue country fan now, though I wouldn't tell most people at school that LOL!! Now, excuse me while I pass out over Thomas' picture. Ahhhhhh…..

5 out of 5 heart hands!


Related Posts with Thumbnails