Showing posts with label Gretchen Wilson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gretchen Wilson. Show all posts

Jan 31, 2024

Elderly Country Songs: Zach Bryan, Jelly Roll, Faith Hill, etc.

Zach Bryan & Kacey Musgraves

I Remember Nothing

Pat Green

Wheel Me Out of the Dancehall

Grave on Grave

Gretchen Wilson

Redneck Granny

Here for the Bingo

Sciatically Incorrect

Faith Hill

(I Can’t Feel You) Breathe

Let’s Go to Shoney’s

Big & Rich

Save a Horse (Ride a Hoveround)

Lost in This Costco

Comin’ to Your Sitz Bath

Jelly Roll

Save Me (no change)

Son of a Son of a Sinner

Coffin Waitin’ in a Cadillac

Mar 2, 2023

Overly Politically Correct Country Songs: Zach Bryan, REK, Loretta, etc.

Don't get bent, I'm just having fun with the English language.

Guy Clark - Wayward Persons Waiting for a Train

Loretta Lynn - Climate Change Facilitator’s Offspring

Robert Earl Keen - Non-Hispanic American Honeymoon

& Happy Holidays from the Group of Persons Living Together

Ray Wylie Hubbard - Intercourse You, We’re from Land Stolen From Mexico

Gretchen Wilson - Uncultured Rural Cishet Female

Reckless Kelly - Mentally Challenged Eddie’s Last Hurrah

Cross Canadian Ragweed - Young CIS Males from Oklahoma

Dolly, Linda, and Emmylou - To Know Xem is to Love Xem

Rhett Akins - I Brake for Blue Hairs

Conway Twitty - Lascivious Male Glare Upon The Female Form in Denim

Zach Bryan - Extremely Attractive CIS Female From Oklahoma

Wheeler Walker Jr. - Cunnilingus/Physical Assault

Southern Traitor Railroad - Sexually Liberated Womyn

Miranda Lambert - Caucasian Mistruth Teller

Roger Miller - My Xio Used to Love Me but Xe Died

Nov 8, 2019

John Rich to Headline Christmas Tree Lighting at John Rich’s House

by Trailer - Originally posted on Country California, December 02, 2010 
John Rich, of Big & Rich and songwriting and solo fame, is slated to perform at and do the flip-switching honors for the Mt. Richmore Christmas Tree Lighting. The December 5th ceremony will commence with a mini-concert from Cowboy Troy, Gretchen Wilson and Kid Rock w/ Sebastian Bach. 

After igniting the resplendent purple and white LED beacons on the 20-foot Vermont balsam fir in the Mt. Richmore courtyard, superstar country singer John Rich will take the stage for a one-hour set of classic and contemporary country hits. 

Food will be available for purchase in the right atrium of the courtyard, with special guest cook Cowboy Troy grilling steaks and lobsters for guests' enjoyment. And, of course, there will be several outlets for attendees to "get their drank on." In addition to a main bar in the left atrium of the courtyard, there will also be a mini bar at the food concession and three rolling liquor carts to serve guests as they enjoy the holiday festivities. For VIP guests, there will also be drinks available in the elevator and bathrooms. 

"It's a huge honor to be at the head of the table, so to speak, for this great Christmas celebration!" beamed Rich at the press conference announcing the lighting. "Hopefully this will be an annual event... and I'd be happy to help out when I can, since it's for such a good cause." 

All profits from the concert will go to the Middle Tennessee RJRB (Replenish John Rich's Bar) Foundation and guests will receive an autographed 8x10 glossy of the country megastar wearing a Santa suit. Tickets will not be available for purchase, but Rich himself will visit local high school and community college campuses to hand out entry vouchers to "talented" students and co-eds. 

Wrapping up the press conference with a sales pitch, Rich smiled: "Come on out and celebrate Christ's holy birth, girls… uh, folks. Johnny Cash would be there if he was still alive." 

Jun 28, 2013

Country Day June '13: DAC, Hunter Hayes, Chris Young, etc.

Another shortened edition of Country Day this month. Everything slows down in the summer (even FTM, as I've reduced the amount of posts for a time), including the album release schedule (thus, less covers to farce), so this will likely be the norm through fall.

Nov 29, 2012

Waylon Jennings Parody

I wrote this parody lyric back in 2006 and sadly,
it's gotten way more out of hand since then...

Don’t You Think This Redneck Bit Has Done Got Out of Hand
(Parody of Waylon’s “Don’t You Think This Outlaw Bit has Done Got Out of Hand”)

Verse 1:
I'm for peas and cornbread, and down home honesty
But this song's about the joke some folks have pulled on you and me
Soon as that gal redneck went up to number one
Folks re-found the drawl they’d lost - yeehaw, ain’t this some fun?

Don't you think this redneck bit has done got out of hand
What started out as getting real has turned into a scam
Now everybody’s dipping Skoal and sportin’ farmer’s tans
Don't you think this redneck bit has done got out of hand

Verse 3:
They were singin’ sweet pop music till ol’ Gretchen came along
Then overnight, big pickup trucks and sweet tea filled their songs
Hillbillies, hicks and white trash started skankin’ up the charts
They’re tradin’ in Versace fashion for blue jeans from Walmart

Don't you think this redneck bit has done got out of hand
What started out as getting real has turned into a scam
Now everybody’s swiggin’ beer, sayin’ hell yeah and by damn
Don't you think this redneck bit has done got out of hand

©2006 Corey Parkman


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