Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts
Jun 12, 2022
Jun 10, 2022
Aunt Bernadette Very Upset You Shared That Walker Hayes Meme on Facebook
“You’re mama annem raised you better then that,” she went on. “Wish you’d take this down.” The normally cheerful and warm Bernadette McPhail, your mom’s step-sister from your granny’s first husband, was very worked up about your inability to enjoy Walker Hayes’ insipid talk-singing songs about restaurants and styrofoam. Surely his upstanding morals make his silly novelty songs lay more easily on your ears?
The meme, seen above right, portrays Hayes’ music as a far greater cultural annoyance than the constant news stories and social media posts about Elon Musk and Johnny Depp. You shared it from the Farce the Music page, so it’s not like you made it… why can’t she take a joke?
Auntie Bernadette, however, thinks you should focus only on the positive aspects of Mr. Hayes’ life. Oddly enough, she wasn’t able to focus on the positives of her ex-husband, who was also a good Christian, albeit one with a penchant for driving over to the riverboats in Vicksburg a bit too often.
“It’s not like I made fun of Walker’s faith,” you think, still firm in your opinion of his just-shit-awful music, “Aunt Bernie’s current “Godly” husband may or may not have once owned a white suit with a pointy hat, but we don’t talk about that, do we?”
At press time, Aunt Bernadette was praying for your eternal soul with a Salem Light hanging from the corner of her mouth, and considering calling your mother.
Jun 9, 2022
Better Call Saul Country Reaction Gifs
When "Rednecks, White Socks, and
Blue Ribbon Beer" comes on
When you find out your boyfriend is secretly a Walker Hayes fan
If you haven't seen Lucero live...
What do you think of the new Ian Noe album?
When the car next to you is playing 49 Winchester
How did the hick-hop festival go?
Me after the show when nobody is talking to the sound guy
When "There Stands the Glass" comes on but it turns out it's just that f**king Sam Hunt song again
Carrie Underwood's new album is out tomorrow
When he hits on you with "I got Luke Bryan tickets"
Jun 8, 2022
Jun 7, 2022
Jun 6, 2022
Jun 5, 2022
Jun 3, 2022
Pop-Country Cover Band Wants You To Stop Requesting Tyler Childers Songs
He sees you there at your table with your girlfriend, Mr. Authentic Country, and despite Brad’s creative shortcomings, he knows your story. You got dragged out to drink $18 cocktails and listen to music you consider beneath you by your attractive but basic love interest, but hey, you don’t have to take it out on him. He doesn’t come to your haberdashery or horse barn or whatever and talk shit about your work.
Brad just wants to play Thomas Rhett and Cole Swindell and Russell Tenpenny.. hell, he gets them mixed up too, but anyway, just let him and his band play selections from the 50 popular songs they know in peace and chill out, dude. Zach Bryan? Do you mean Luke? And who the hell is Colter Wall? You’re just making stuff up now.
You in your vintage Waylon Jennings t-shirt sitting there all high and mighty, drinking a Pabst. What did you expect? That they were going to crank out some Highway Troubadours, or Colby Jinks, or whatever depressing stuff you listen to? Get real man, Dem Broadway Boyz are here to sell beer, Fireball, and overpriced chicken tenders. For the love of God, no they won’t play “Feathered Indians.”
Brad leans over to his bassist during a rendition of Sam Hunt’s “Body Like a Back Road” and whispers “watch this guy, be ready to take him down” as you saunter to the side stage with a smirk on your face.
At press time, Brad was singing lyrics read off his phone as the band worked through a poor version of “Whiskey River” after you tipped them $30 to play it. But he’s still pissed.
Jun 2, 2022
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