Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts
Apr 25, 2024
Wrasslin' Country Reaction Gifs #81
He grabbed a carton of milk and he poured a glass. I smiled and said I’ll have some of that.
When somebody plays some Paul Cauthen on the jukebox when you're five mojitos in
How my soul feels when I hear a Hardy song against my will
Chris LeDoux after telling that gang about tornados and ol' blue northers
Morgan Wallen when one of his friends takes the chair away
When you take your guns to town despite mama's warnings
This first night at Morgan Wallen’s bar
When Sturgill Simpson met Merle Haggard
Heaven was waitin' at the top of Jacob's ladder
When somebody keeps yelling out "Play I Hope He Breaks Your Heart!" at an American Aquarium concert
When you try to play Dan + Shay on Touchtunes at a biker bar
Apr 24, 2024
Apr 23, 2024
Apr 22, 2024
Apr 21, 2024
Apr 19, 2024
Sturgill Simpson Returns to Music With New Hick-Hop Group, Tha Tucky Boyz
Americana stalwart and actor Sturgill Simpson has been quiet on the musical front for the past couple of years. Despite being quite visible in the entertainment world, appearing in Martin Scorcese’s Killers of the Flower Moon and the HBO comedy The Righteous Gemstones, Simpson has released no new albums or singles since 2021’s The Ballad of Dood & Juanita.
That all changed Wednesday as Sturgill unveiled his next musical incarnation, Tha Tucky Boys. With his high school friend Herschel Porter, now known as Pill-P, Sturgill (stage name B Double D) introduced his new duo on a new Instagram account you probably can't find. “I’m a country rapper now” was the simple announcement, alongside this photo, and a short snippet of a song called “Treadin’ on Me.”
We had a short FaceTime conversation with B Double D and Pill-P Thursday to check into this unexpected development. “Lemme holla at ya dog,” said Simpson, now adorned with face tattoos similar to that of his character in the movie The Hunt. “I told y’all you’d seen the last of Sturgill solo, so please stop referring to me as Sturgill. I’m going all in on this country rap game.”
Pill-P chimed in: “We might come from different lifestyles, BDD being a well-off musician and actor, and me being a proprietor of medicinal solutions and all your scrap metal needs, but anyway… we both real ass Tucky boys and we both hate the government so it works out.”
Simpson says the duo features a crappy logo, stolen drum loops, bad honky rapping, and adds that they will only play at ATV races and mud bogs, such is the custom with country rap performers. “We’re keeping this shit lo-fi homey,” laughed Sturgill, sipping a Steel Reserve tall boy from a paper sack. “I’ve done my time in the industry, I just wanna keep it real yo.” Simpson says they also plan to start a beef with Upchurch right off the bat, as is also tradition among hick-hop artists.
When asked if there were any political divisions within the group, with Simpson having progressive views and Pill-P having been excluded from caring about politics due to a felony on his record, Sturgill told us it wasn’t an issue. “I’m gonna vote my way, Pill’s gonna not vote, it’ll be fine.”
At press time, Tha Tucky Boyz were doing a photo shoot at an old train depot, each holding a chicken snake with some half naked women inexplicably posing on top of a rusted out tank car in the background.
Apr 18, 2024
Idiocracy Country Reaction Gifs 2
When you need an income source after two tours of duty in Vietnam
What's your favorite Conway Twitty song about?
When your friend tells everybody you own a couple of Rascal Flatts CDs after you told him never to speak of it
Society if Sturgill Simpson had never existed
If the country song you're listening to makes you dance like this, you aren't listening to a country song
How long is Morgan Wallen blackballed from Eric Church's bar?
When somebody tells you to turn down the Toby Keith
Still better than going to a Kane Brown concert
And then I shot him full of holes from his nose to his knees
Going over a list of medical emergencies that happened at the hick hop festival
Aldean fans when they hear Beyonce on country radio
Give me a one word review of Dan + Shay's music
Apr 17, 2024
Top 10 Biggest Jerks in Heartland Rock
We uncovered some surprising secrets about some of the biggest heartland rockers. You may have assumed these were generally upstanding folks, but think again. Here’s our ranking of the worst!
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10. John Cafferty
Named his band The Beaver Brown Band. Tricked millions of 1980s casual radio listeners into thinking he was Bruce Springsteen.
9. Melissa Etheridge
Tricked millions of 1990s bro-dudes into singing along with lesbian love songs. For several tours, would only play a reggae reimagining of “Come to My Window.”
8. Bob Seger
Says Kid Rock is his greatest musical progeny. Despite being very popular in the South, betrayed them by being a political centrist. Has promised to only allow samples of his songs to be used by mumble rappers.
7. Brian Fallon
Says the name of his band The Gaslight Anthem is about farts, not about manipulating someone into doubting their own thoughts. Says it’s always been that way and you know this.
6. John Fogerty
In an interview once said Florida-Georgia Line was the closest thing he’d ever heard to the spirit of Creedence. Always arguing with the Kroger checkout person over expired coupons. Initiates conversations with strangers at the urinal.
5. Brandon Flowers
Sends takedown notices if a YouTube music reviewer gives a Killers album less than 5 stars. Only promotes his solo albums on social media. Once called his fans “pour over coffee drinking white suburban unmarried cat-parents” which is true but was very controversial at the time.
4. Ryan Culwell
Backstage rider far more extravagant and demanding than everyone on this list, despite him being the least well known. Pretends to be Americana when it suits him. Likes to watch those zip popping videos at full volume in the doctor’s office waiting room.
3. Jon Bon Jovi
Still touring despite his voice retiring in 2003. At concerts, only performs a medley of the greatest hits to close the show after an hour and half of current songs nobody knows. Cites John Cafferty as his main musical influence. Insisted he be placed on this list rather than the hair metal edition.
2. Bruce Springsteen
Has just been pretending to be liberal for decades but secretly funds several New Jersey far right militias. Takes credit for Courtney Cox’s entire career. Only speaks to his bandmates in quotes from Parks & Rec. Made Jake Clemons play an entire tour with tiny truck nutz hanging from his saxophone.
1. John Mellencamp
Whoops, sorry for including an actual jerk.* This list is supposed to be satirical.
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*His inclusion isn't due to that viral video yesterday which was used for nefarious political purposes. He was in the right in that instance.
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