If Chris Knight Had a Twitter Account

Monday Morning Memes: Aldean, FGL, Jagger

The Saddest Thing You'll See Today

You People Are Idiots

The Best of Reginald Spears: January '15

Here are some of our buddy Reginald Spears' most recent and popular tweets.

Oh, you don't like Cam Newton dancing around but you love Luke Bryan doing it? Thanks for letting us know you're an idiot.

— Reginald Spears (@ReginaldSpears) January 25, 2016

Build a buff snowman in Nashville today & give it a five o'clock shadow & a grey tshirt, it'll be signed to a record contract in minutes.

— Reginald Spears (@ReginaldSpears) January 23, 2016

If Trump will build a wall around Georgia to keep all the bro-country singers in, he's got my vote.

— Reginald Spears (@ReginaldSpears) January 15, 2016

I'd rather shoot a bottle rocket out of my urethra than go to a Luke Bryan concert.

— Reginald Spears (@ReginaldSpears) December 31, 2015

In 2016 resolve to listen to more singers whose jeans weren't picked out for them.

— Reginald Spears (@ReginaldSpears) December 30, 2015

Florida-Georgia Line fans think "steel guitar" is a verb instead of a noun.

— Reginald Spears (@ReginaldSpears) December 13, 2015

Personally, I'll trade some Florida-Georgia Line fans for some Syrian refugees.

— Reginald Spears (@ReginaldSpears) November 19, 2015

I'm not a smart man but I know Sam Hunt ain't a country singer.

— Reginald Spears (@ReginaldSpears) October 28, 2015

If somebody would play Hunter Hayes some Sturgill Simpson, I bet he'd finally sprout a chest hair.

— Reginald Spears (@ReginaldSpears) October 9, 2015

RT for moderately painful splinter. Fav for Brantley Gilbert. pic.twitter.com/DSOLtH5z0T

— Reginald Spears (@ReginaldSpears) September 26, 2015

If you don't like @TpTroubadours , you either haven't heard them or you're a dumbass.

— Reginald Spears (@ReginaldSpears) September 17, 2015

Johnny Cash wouldn't have enough middle fingers for the country music industry now.

— Reginald Spears (@ReginaldSpears) September 3, 2015

BRUTALLY Honest Jason Aldean Ad

Country TwitterFAIL: Nov. '15

TwitterFAIL Special Edition: #whoischrisstapleton

How dare they let a country singer win a Country Music Association award, right?

Foul language ahead!

49th CMA Awards: Snarky Twitter Wrap-Up

These aren't necessarily in order, but they hit a lot of the high points of last night's program.
Oh and, HELL YEAH CHRIS STAPLETON!!!!! (he won Best New Artist, Best Album, and Best Male Vocalist, if you were unaware)

If Chris Stapleton doesn't win all the awards tonight, we riot. #CMAawards

— Reginald Spears (@ReginaldSpears) November 4, 2015

STAPLETON/TIMBERLAKE 2016 🇺🇸🎤 #CMAawards

— Southern Girl Charm (@southrngirlchrm) November 5, 2015

My daughter just made the "confused girl in the carseat" face when FGL came on. #CMAAwards

— Farce the Music (@Farcethemusic) November 5, 2015

What is a Sam Hunt and how do you make it stop?

— NotKennyRogers (@NotKennyRogers) November 5, 2015

When I was a kid I walked in on my parents fucking. I enjoyed it more than this Sam Hunt song. #CMAawards

— Wheeler Walker, Jr. (@WheelerWalkerJr) November 5, 2015

Is #SamHunt reciting his boyhood diary as a joke, or is this actually passable as "country" music by today's standards? #CMAAwards

— We Hate Pop Country (@WHPCOfficial) November 5, 2015

Sam Hunt is what happens when I download the T-Pain AutoTune app at 3 am after 6 hours at Walt's

— Cole Cassis (@ColeCasstastic) November 5, 2015

Eric Church just name checked Elvis Costello and Jeff Tweedy on the new album title track. Take my money, thanks.

— Craig Jenkins (@CraigSJ) November 5, 2015

That's Uncle Bobby language for "I like Kacey Musgraves" hahaha and it's hard to get that man's approval. pic.twitter.com/vUtwsdabuY

— Caitlin Josephine (@Cati_Jolyn) November 5, 2015

If #dimestorecameltoe doesn't start trending immediately, I'm going to be so disappointed in you Twitter. #cmawards

— Rawhide & Velvet (@rawhidevelvet) November 5, 2015

I wish Thomas Rhett and Fall Out Boy would come down with a case of swamp ass

— Justin Hanna (@just1hanna) November 5, 2015

@Farcethemusic why do you need a belt for skinny jeans? Don't they hold themselves up?

— Mark Breunig (@biggerging82) November 5, 2015

'Sure Gonna Know We Were Here' is Aldean's very worst song. What utter idiocy. All his hubris distilled into 3 minutes. #CMAawards

— Grady Smith (@gradywsmith) November 5, 2015

Y'all enjoy the CMA awards while you can, and by that I mean "before Earl Dibbles Jr. wins one."

— Charlie Stout (@charliestout) November 5, 2015

Inner monologue: WHEN IS THE BEAT GONNA DROP? https://t.co/Ec8MNui4Sr

— HuskerGuy (@thehuskerguy) November 5, 2015

Who does #RonnieDunn's plastic surgery? I wanna make sure I avoid them. #CMAawards

— Forrest Jenkins (@forrest_jenkins) November 5, 2015

This is a special moment for ALL of country music. What a talent. What a story. What a man. #CMAawards

— Jason Scott (@JasontheScott) November 5, 2015

Somewhere, Scott Borchetta is trying to figure out what size skinny jeans Chris Stapleton would wear. #CMAs

— Robert Groves (@FiveOLetsGo) November 5, 2015

My favorite celebrity Halloween costume was most certainly Sam Hunt as Wednesday Adams #CMAawards @Farcethemusic

— Tabitha Nicholson (@tabithanichol1) November 5, 2015

How many shallow morons are crying their eyes out right now because some beardy dude beat their beautiful idols?

— Farce the Music (@Farcethemusic) November 5, 2015

Congrats @ChrisStapleton you are ruling so hard. Your Tennessee Whiskey duet with JT was bad ass too dude.

— Shooter Jennings (@ShooterJennings) November 5, 2015

I want to thank FGL for stopping by American Eagle to pick up their new outfits for tonight. #CMAawards

— Nikki Thomas (@NikkiThomas103) November 5, 2015

Luke Bryan wins the CMA for Bad Rapping Middle Aged White Guy of the Year. #CMAawards

— Saving Country Music (@The_Triggerman) November 5, 2015

The most revolutionary thing you can do in Nashville today is play country music. #ChrisStapleton

— Taylor Jones (@NashvilleNiner) November 5, 2015

I have never been as happy at a CMA awards show as I am now..sitting across the aisle from @ChrisStapleton and Morgane. Happy heart!

— Lee Ann Womack (@leeannwomack) November 5, 2015

Honest Tweets from Country Stars

*These aren't real!

CMAs 2014: Snarky Twitter Wrap-Up

Good news: Kacey Musgraves won, Strait sang, Garth was there, Vince was honored, The Band Perry covered Glen Campbell pretty righteously (and there were a few other highlights).

Bad news: Luke Bryan won entertainer of the year, FGL won something or other...

Here's a somewhat-in-order but not really snarky Twitter recap of the night's proceedings.

Thanks for your help!

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