Jul 7, 2014

I Bet U Caint Even Bate a Huk



(This isn't a political statement so much as one about prideful stupidity. 
I'm actually pretty conservative, but I'd like to disassociate myself from bro-countriers,
people who carry large assault weapons into grocery stores, and coal rollers entirely.)

Monday Morning Memes: Rascal Flatts, Justin Moore, etc.

 



Jul 3, 2014

New Video: Old Crow Medicine Show - Sweet Amarillo (Official)

New Video: Hard Working Americans - Blackland Farmer

The Bro in Black?


Thanks to Mike McDermott for this disturbing piece!

Little Known Facts: July '14



By Trailer and Jeremy Harris

If you don't use American made fireworks to celebrate Independence Day, 
Toby Keith will come to your house and put a boot up your ass.

Chase Rice's college football career was cut short due to an injury sustained in a tragic keg stand mishap.

Scott Borchetta doesn't mind if you question his business decisions and ethics, 
but if you say one word about his perm he will end you.

The average Luke Bryan fan can type 49 werds per minute.

Jerrod Niemann wants you to know that it was his record label's idea to release "Donkey." 
In fact, he didn't even want it on the album. In fact, that's not even him singing on the track. 
Seriously, guys.

Colt Ford is a really nice guy until you remind him that his music completely sucks ass.

Tim McGraw wants you to know that it was his record label's idea to release "Lookin' for That Girl." In fact…

Justin Moore only drinks top shelf liquor, unless he's alone and can't reach it.

Martina McBride stopped doing festival dates with bro-country acts 
because their fans would all wave American flags during "Independence Day."

In a recent competition to find country music's best looking beard, 
Whitey Morgan came in second behind Miranda Lambert.

Kenny Chesney once broke up a clothes-ripping brawl between Faith Hill and Shania Twain 
backstage at the CMAs. Said Ronnie Dunn, who witnessed the whole thing, "Chesney's a dumbass."

New country artist Walker Chase Blake hopes to stand out from the crowd with his new rap-tinged
single "Blah blah something about kisses at night or whatever."

Johnny Cash had an amazing collection of 19th century guns and antique books. 
Brantley Gilbert has a pretty sweet collection of glass pipes and Juggs magazines.

Jul 1, 2014

New Video: Whiskey Myers - Dogwood

Rejected Titles for Chase Rice's New Album

Yesterday, Chase Rice revealed the cover and tracklisting for his new album, Ignite the Night.
I'm as shocked as you that it wasn't "Ignite the Nite." Anyway, FTM lucked upon a few
early mock-ups of the cover with proposed titles that didn't make the cut. Enjoy.





Country Singer Anagrams

an·a·gram
ˈanəˌgram/
noun
  1. a word, phrase, or name formed by rearranging the letters of another, such as cinema, formed from iceman.








Jun 30, 2014

Old Crow Medicine Show - Sweet Amarillo (Live)

Here's OCMS performing (the Bob Dylan cowrite of sorts - much like "Wagon Wheel") "Sweet Amarillo," from their upcoming album, Remedy.

Maddie and Tae - Girl in a Country Song (you must hear or read this!)

Maddie and Tae are a new act who are coming onto the scene with quite the announcement of their arrival. The following song (I transcribed the lyrics also) not only takes down bro-country's treatment of women, it also directly calls out some of the offenders - not by name but by catch phrases and hooks from their tunes. We can discuss (or Triggerman can - he's better at that stuff) the paradox/irony/ramifications of a song like this being released by one of Borchetta's labels later, but for now just enjoy. The link is a stream of a wma file (which won't work on a Mac unless you have a VLC Player or something similar). Sorry, that's all that's available at the moment.





Girl in a Country Song
(Written by Maddie (Marlow), Tae(lynn Elizabeth Dye), and Aaron Scherz; 
Performed by Maddie & Tae)

Well I wish I had some shoes on my two bare feet
And it's gettin' kinda cold in these painted-on cut-off jeans
I hate the way this bikini top chafes
Do I really have to wear it all day?
(Yeah baby)

I hear you over there on your tailgate whistlin'
Sayin' "Hey girl," but you know I ain't listenin'
Cause I got a name and to you it ain't
pretty little thing, honey or baby
It's driving me red red red red red red redneck crazy

Being the girl in a country song
How in the world did it go so wrong?
Like all we're good for is looking good for
you and your friends on the weekend, nothin' more
We used to get a little respect
Now we're lucky if we even get
To climb up in the truck, keep our mouth shut, ride along
And be the girl in a country song

Well, shakin' my moneymaker ain't ever made me a dime
And there ain't no sugar for you in this shaker of mine
Tell me one more time you gotta get you some of that
Sure I'll slide on over, but you're gonna get slapped
These days it ain't easy being that…

Girl in a country song
How in the world did it go so wrong?
Like all we're good for is looking good for
you and your friends on the weekend, nothin' more
We used to get a little respect
Now we're lucky if we even get
To climb up in the truck, keep our mouth shut, ride along
And be the girl in a country song

Yep, yep, yep

Aw naw,
Conway and George Strait
Never did it this way
Back in the old days
Aw naw,
We ain't a cliche
That ain't no way
To treat a lady

Like a girl in a country song
How in the world did it go so wrong?
Like all we're good for is looking good for
you and your friends on the weekend, nothin' more
We used to get a little respect
Now we're lucky if we even get
To climb up in the truck, keep our mouth shut, ride along
Down some dirt road we don't even wanna be on
And be the girl in a country song

(Spoken)
Yeah baby
I ain't your tan legged Juliet
Can I put on some real clothes now?

Aw naw

Monday Morning Memes: Darius Rucker, BG, Luke, Dierks




Jun 29, 2014

Awkward Gary Levox Photo of the Week




Ding Dong, the Donkey's Dead

Jerrod Niemann's horrendous "Donkey" has apparently been pulled from radio and Arista will try
to pretend it never happened with "Buzz Back Girl" on July 14.


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