Showing posts with label Motley Crue. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Motley Crue. Show all posts

Mar 25, 2019

No Sleep Roundup: Motley Crue, Vale, Sharkmuffin, Brooks & Dunn


By Robert Dean

YO. Is it me or is everyone crazy busy right now? It’s probably that we’re all bursting at the seams with that warm weather optimism, thinking about living in shorts for a few months, drinking in the garage, summer shows, tubing, the smell of the grill. All the best things about life happen in the warm weather. 

Anyhow, in the spirit of spring officially here, let’s get y’all up to speed on some of the rad shit happening around and in the world of music, shall we? Let’s Roundup. 

Ok, so first off, The Dirt dropped last week. People who love the Crüe are happy while everyone else with two eyeballs says it sucks. [Editor’s note: (insert eyeroll emoji)] I was going to review it, but my best friend likes to remind me that I hate the band and everything 1980’s cock rock. So, I have nothing to add to this except, while I like rock and roll stories, seeing Tommy Lee in a thong doesn’t interest me in the least. Shit is so wack. 

ANYHOW, 

Jerry Lee Lewis suffered a stroke and has effectively canceled his New Orleans Jazzfest appearance. Big up’s to The Killer and hopefully, he’ll have a speedy recovery. 

If you’re into Chelsea Wolfe’s brooding, check out Louise Lemón’s new record, “A Broken Heart, is An Open Heart.” It’s got all of the doomy witch vibes one needs. It’s a little spooky and moody, but ultimately, solidly evil. Listen to it here. 

Another female-fronted kick to the neck, Low Dose is dropping a raging new album that feels like a mix of the Big Business + Melvins era, but approachably singy, sprinkled with a touch of the riot grrrl sound. Featuring ex-members of Fight Amp, Lose Dose is an easy winner if you’re looking for something that’s heavy but 100% relatable if you’ve ever had to deal with adult emotional problems. 

Brooks and Dunn are nominated for the Country Music Hall of Fame, and honestly, if you haven’t had a lonely night to “Neon Moon,” you’re not doing it right.


Vale is a new death metal + black metal band that’s doing some seriously grim shit. If you need something KVLT as FUCK, this will whet your appetite. Check out Vale here.

Three new records you need in your life are dropping within the next week or so:

  • Yawpers - Human Question 
  • Mekons - Deserted 
  • Vandoliers - Forever (out now)

Don’t sleep on any of these, I’ve covered all three and they’re all bangers. 

Sharkmuffin’s new jammer “Fate” is straight up sick. If you’ve got a love for My Bloody Valentine, get on this ASAP. I wish I’d of caught their SXSW sets because apparently, they kicked the shit out of everyone and I had no idea. 

Dick Dale, the King of Surf Rock died. Mad respect to the man who wrote “Misirlou” aka the best tune to ever open a movie. 


ALBERICH UNVEILS “CHILSONG CHAMBER” - I don’t really know what to make of this, other than it reminds me of living with my friend Mike in my early 20’s. He was on all of this stuff. Took me to see KMFDM, Venetian Snares, all kinds of good stuff. I was hanging with dudes in black boots and shorts and saw folks headbang to synthesizers. So, get on this if that’s your speed. 

And finally, Full of Hell is back. If you’re looking to get your teeth kicked in. Look no further. They’re easily one of the best new pissed off, heavy bands in the game. Watch their new one here. 


Apr 13, 2016

WWE Country Reaction Gifs 8: Sturgill, FGL, Rascal Flatts, etc.

When you accidentally hear that Motley Crue 
song Rascal Flatts covered



 So, you're a country fan? Like Luke Bryan and Jason Aldean?



 When Mumford and Sons fans go out dancing



 When you finally hear Sturgill's new album



When you find a Florida-Georgia Line 
album in your son's room



Just the thought of FGL doing a Merle tribute 
makes you do this



 When Tyler Farr is finally fed up with all the insults

 

Sep 30, 2014

Gnome Sweet Gnome

 
Gnome Sweet Gnome
(Lyric parody of Motley Crue's "Home Sweet Home" which was recently covered by Justin Moore)

You know I'm a wee man
Barely five foot three
I have to climb on a stool
Just so I can take a pee
Don't put things so high
Way up on that Walmart shelf
Can't reach the Dawn, and can't reach the veal
I'm such an elf

Put me in your lap
Hold me in your hands
Just pick me up
On your shoulders so I
Can see the rock band

I'm in the way
I'm in the way
Gnome sweet gnome...
Petite, petite
I'm in the way
I'm in the way
Gnome sweet gnome...

You know that I wear
Size four boots on my feet and
On my bus, got my own
Graco car seat

I'm just like a leprechaun
Short legs and T-rex arms
And you know no one
No one's gonna get
Me Lucky Charms

I'm in the way
I'm in the way
Gnome sweet gnome...
Half pint, half pint
I'm in the way
I'm in the way
Gnome sweet gnome...

Gnome sweet gnome...
Gnome sweet gnome...
Gnome sweet gnome...

I'm in the way
I'm in the way
Gnome sweet gnome...

Hey!

I'm in the way
I'm in the way
Gnome sweet gnome...

Aug 27, 2014

Top 10 Things That Sound Better Than Rascal Flatts' Cover of "Kickstart My Heart"

10.

09.
Bob Dylan arguing with Tom Waits beside a clothes dryer with a rock in it

08.

07.
Taylor Swift singing the "Napa Know How" theme song a cappella

 06.

05.
 Brantley Gilbert humming while gargling hot whiskey in a hailstorm 

04.

03.

 02.
William Hung singing the "Star Spangled Banner" through a box fan

01.


------

......but judge for yourself: Kickstart My Heart

May 20, 2014

Rascal Flatts Covers Motley Crue

I found out yesterday that Rascal Flatts will be covering Motley Crue's "Kickstart My Heart" on Big Machine's tribute album (which also features Brantley Gilbert, Big & Rich, and the utter desecration of my adolescence). Well, the Flatts boys decided to put a personal spin on the song!* Here are the exclusive lyrics.



"Kickstart My Heart"

When I get high
I get high on eats
Ice cream Snicker bar's
A drug for me
My heart, my heart
Kickstart my heart
Always got the docs
Running tests on me
Blood pressure cuff sayin' 203
My heart, my heart
Kickstart my heart

Ooh, love spaghetti curls!
Ooh, I'm ready to chow!
Ooh, yeah
Kickstart my heart
I love custard tarts
Ooh, yeah, gravy
Ooh, yeah
Kickstart my heart
at the Burger Mart
Ooh, yeah, gravy!

Meat pies makin'
my pants stretch and strain
Or some bacon on a
Corndog goin' to my waist
My heart, my heart
Kickstart my heart
Say I want double
Double nacho fries
I'm just drooling for another pork rind
My heart, my heart
Kickstart my heart

Ooh, those nutella swirls!
Ooh, I'm ready to chow!
Ooh, yeah
Kickstart my heart
Lobster a la carte
Ooh, yeah, gravy
Ooh, yeah
Kickstart my heart
by the hotdog cart
Ooh, yeah, gravy!

When we started this band
I still fit in size 36 pants
Years gone by...
I'd say I've gained some ass
When I'm famished
Give me fried fish
Panko and ketchup cover
up my dish
Well I'd say I'm getting some bad gas

Mmmm, hmmmm, kickstart my heart
Donuts are nonstop
And to think, now I've got this…
Blood clot

Kickstart my heart




*no they didn't, I just made this crap up (but they are actually covering that song)

Feb 26, 2014

Country TwitterFAIL: February 2014


*Sorry about all the homophobic tweets, but I get tired of people equating
musical taste to sexual preference, whether in positive or negative connotations. 
















Thanks for ruining my adolescent memories, guys!





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