Showing posts with label Garth Brooks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Garth Brooks. Show all posts
Mar 29, 2020
Mar 22, 2020
Unhinged Garth Brooks Photo of the Week
For the time being at least, we're being around 40% nicer on FTM due to the coronavirus pandemic, so we're suspending Awkward Gary for a little while. I was planning to replace him with this when Rascal Flatts retires anyway, so I guess we're getting an early start!
Mar 5, 2020
When Music is a Saving Force
Labels:
Chris Gaines,
Garth Brooks,
gifs,
memes,
Satire
Jan 17, 2020
Dustin Lynch's Heroes
Labels:
Alan Jackson,
Dustin Lynch,
Garth Brooks,
George Strait,
memes,
Satire,
wrestling
Jan 10, 2020
Dec 3, 2019
Had a Mullet / Should've Had a Mullet 2
Had a mullet
Had a mullet
Had a mullet
Should've had a mullet
Had a mullet
Should've had a mullet
Had a mullet
Had a mullet
Should've had a mullet
Should've had a mullet
Most definitely had a mullet
Had a mullet
Nov 26, 2019
Nov 21, 2019
This Guy Rants About The CMA Entertainer of the Year Award Controversy
Garth Brooks won the CMA entertainment of the year award and everybody’s in there feelings about it. I’m a little mad myself sense Keith Urban didn’t win it, but that’s not why other people are all salty. They think, get this, that Carry Underwood or Eric Church shoulda won. LMOA! On one side you’ve got all the feminists who want women to win everything and rule the world (go rule over the laundry room, lol). On the other side, you’ve got hipster country fans who think Eric Church is any good.
There both wrong! If Keith Urban couldn’t win it Garth is the man! I’ve seen garth live at least 5 times and it was a damn party! He ran around like a crazy person and climbed on stuff and yelled! It was bad ass. And Garth is one of the inventors of country music. How could you not know that? Him and Tim McGraw are the first people to make country music worth listening too so I consider them the pine ears of the music!
Now lets look at Eric Church. He’s obviously on drugs sense he never takes off his shades. And his songs are all complicated and shit. I just want to here about not going down till the sun comes up and drinking two peenya coladas and friends being in low places but he sings about monsters and being desperate or some crap. That’s not country! And he sings about that liberal loon Bruce Springsting to. I don’t know anybody who listens to that lefty crap so why would I want to hear a song about him?? Duh.
Now Carry Underwood is hot. I’ll give you that. She’s real entertaining if you turn the sound off, you know what I’m saying? But when you have to here her voice, it’s awful. And she sings about love all the time. She’s also a liberal deep state member. It’s crazy we let these people into country music in the first place! She’s a vagrant too! That means she doesn’t eat any meat products. What.the.f.? Both her and Eric don’t want me to have my collection of bazookas and Gatling guns. Damn gun grabbers. Neither one of them deserves to be the entertainment of the month at Chucky Cheese’s much less for the hole country music asociation.
My final comment is: scoreboard! Garth won. Get over it. You can’t try to get rid of him like your trying to do too a certain other American hero right now. God blessed country music an America!
Labels:
Carrie Underwood,
Eric Church,
Garth Brooks,
Keith Urban,
Satire,
This Guy
Nov 15, 2019
Borrowed Memes: Dwight, Strait, Garth
Labels:
Borrowed Humor,
Dwight Yoakam,
Garth Brooks,
George Strait,
memes,
Satire,
Vinyl Ranch
Nov 7, 2019
Misheard Garth Brooks Lyrics
Labels:
Garth Brooks,
memes,
Misheard Lyrics,
Satire,
woman yelling at cat
Oct 17, 2019
The Thunder Rolls
Labels:
Garth Brooks,
memes,
Satire
Sep 6, 2019
Garth Brooks Near Destitution
by Trailer - Originally posted on Country California, March 26, 2013
Garth Brooks is nearly broke.
The somber, emaciated (for him) 51-year-old across the table from our correspondent stood in stark contrast to the color-block shirted, barrel-chested wild man of Nashville memory as he confessed that "girls are expensive."
Despite 200 million in album sales, years of sold out concert tours and an estimated $350 million in career earnings, the country legend is surviving on Spam and saltine crackers these days as he plots his comeback. "I know, I know... I've seen all those VH1 specials about guys like MC Hammer and thought, how the hell did they go through all that money?" admitted Brooks, pulling at a loose thread on his 2008 Old Navy America t-shirt.
Brooks put his career on hiatus in 2001 to see his daughters through high school and into college. The costs of his divorce that year and the upbringing of three girls was a far greater financial strain than any of his fans might have imagined. "Well, Sandy got half and the girls got the other half," chuckled Garth, sipping Big K Cola from a can. "I didn't know Bratz cost so damn much."
"I've also burned through most of Trisha's money with some bad investments," he continued, with a tear the size of a quarter building in his left eye. "The pager store franchise went under in '02... damn cell phones. And my personal brand of offensively bright shirts for big and tall men never got off the ground due to a sweat-shop scandal."
His three-year Vegas run only put a band-aid on the problem as bills and tuition costs slowly ate away at Brooks' remaining fortune. "I've lost 60 pounds, man; all my old 'Mo' Bettas look like circus tents on me now. I'm going in for a third mortgage on the mansion."
A potential comeback is in the cards, though the 26-year Nashville vet is not currently aligned with a record label. "Borchetta is interested in a comeback album, but he's not sure I'll fit the Big Machine mold. Hell, I guess I'd do auto-tune and sing about trucks... I need some money, pardner!" said Brooks.
The "Friends in Low Places" superstar bid us adieu for his afternoon Starbucks shift with these off-topic words: "Everybody blames me for pop-country, but I'm Hank Sr. compared to folks these days..."
At press time, Scott Borchetta had passed on Garth Brooks for a 19-year-old community college dropout with a five o'clock shadow and an intriguing chin scar.
Aug 29, 2019
College Football Country Reaction Gifs
Football's back!
-----
Red solo cup, I fill you up, it's time to party
When Koe Wetzel says a bad word and you're offended
Every new Whiskey Myers song I hear
Then a shotgun to shoulder
I thought of the fourth of July
"Can you comment on Kane Brown's CMA nomination snub?"
Boom! it was over just like that
And the thunder rolls...
When you're so stoned at the bluegrass concert, you don't even care there's a guy blocking your view
When somebody says Waylon is overrated
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)