Country TwitterFAIL: August '21

The Crud Report: September 2021 (Yeah, it's early)

 Yeah, it's a few days early. I'm ready for summer to hurry up and get out of here.

Country Facebook Awareness Profile Frames

 Many people use social messaging frames around their profile pics on Facebook to promote political, medical, charitable, social justice and other causes. What if these country singers had frames around their profile pics? What would they say? 

If I Don't Tell You I'm Country

 If I Don’t Tell You I’m Country

©2021 FTM Satire Lyrics

I’m from backside of the backwoods

Drive a step-side and it rides good

I got a hot chick and a cold one

Wanna talk big, we can go, son

But the beat snaps and the bass drops

And I speak slang, hey is this pop?

Chorus

If I don’t tell you I’m country

That I like my beer real cold

If I don’t mention my hometown

And the bonfires don’t glow

You might think you’re cranking Bieber

These boots are just for show

So if I don’t tell you I’m country

How are you gonna know?

Dress in fashion, I got a stylist

Check out my hair man, it’s the wildest

I go huntin’ but it’s guided

And yeah I work hard, exercisin’

Ain’t no fiddle, and I don’t twang

And there’s some tuner when I sang

So if I don’t tell you I’m country

That I like my beer real cold

If I don’t mention a pasture

And the bonfires don’t glow

You might think I’m Ed Sheeran

These jeans are just for show

So if I don’t tell you I’m country

How are you gonna know?

Bridge

Yeah that first verse was a big lie

I was born out in Granny White

If I don’t tell you I’m country

That I like my beer real cold

If I don’t mention my hometown

And the bonfires don’t glow

You might think you’re cranking Bieber

These boots are just for show

So if I don’t tell you I’m country

How are you gonna know?

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The Crud Report: August '21

 

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♫ This is how we roooo ooo oooo ooolll ♫

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