The Crud Report, November '23, Volume II

Get Out the Way

The Crud Report: October '23

Selective Rage

The Office Country Memes

More More Monday Memes: Oliver Anthony, Fiddles, Dan + Shay

Oliver Anthony Performs "90 Some Chevy"

More Tuesday Memes: Oliver Anthony, Sturgill Simpson, Morgan Wallen

 

Woman Googles Country Singer’s Politics to Make Sure She Likes The Song

A recent convert to country music fandom, Marietta Lester of West Memphis, AR, is doing a little research. The song she just heard on a TikTok video really grabbed her. So much so that she replayed the video several times, bobbing her head along to the sparse but plaintive tune. 

“I had to stop myself though!” said a concerned Lester. “I can’t be sure that the melody is truly pleasing to my ears until I make sure the singer shares the exact same political ideologies as me.” 

Lester immediately began to scan the internet to verify that she did indeed enjoy the song. “What if he supports the people who are trying to destroy our country?” she pondered. “What if he didn’t boycott the same companies I was boycotting in 2016??”

Throughout her Google, Wikipedia, and Twitter (X) investigation, Lester searched both the singer’s name and the song’s title, to little avail. His only online presence of note was the one TikTok video and an old Reddit sportscar thread where he called someone a “dickhead” in 2019. 

“I just need to be sure it’s good - my ears have lied to me before.” said Lester. “It’d be so bad if I told the people in my bubble I like the song and they already had the inside scoop that he was one of those fascists on the other side of the political aisle! They’d kick me off the text thread and Linda wouldn’t meet me for brunch at Another Broken Egg on Friday mornings anymore!”

Very little is known of the viral sensation who dropped the hot song, other than his rural living situation and clear lack of a wardrobe consultant. The artist has been courted by several political firebrands on Twitter, but seems content to move his career along slowly.

At press time, Marietta dropped her head a bit and said “Well, the song isn’t actually good after all; he’s a f***ing centrist.”

It's Been a Busy Year

Country Twitter Wins: August '23

Country Twitter Fails: August '23

 

I kind of love this one

More Monday Memes: Luke Bryan, Zach Bryan, Oliver Anthony

RIP Bob Barker. Thanks for making every childhood sick day better.

 

The Crud Report, August '23, Volume III

Flavor of the Week

Armageddon Country Reaction Gifs

The movie equivalent of boyfriend country

When "Tell Lorrie I Love Her" comes on in the shuffle

How high's the water mama?

5 feet high and risin'

I saw the light, I been baptized...

When somebody just called George Strait the 90s version of Morgan Wallen on Twitter

Dudes thirty seconds after hearing that Oliver Anthony song

When Jesus didn't take the wheel so you gotta go right to the top

When you went to a hick hop concert just because you thought it would be funny

How'd you know Charles Wesley Godwin was gonna get big?

When you spent last night in the arms of a girl from Louisiana and you've been 100 miles

When your kid is hem-hawing around after you requested they stop listening to Jason Aldean in your house

When country songs have hit #1 on Billboard for like 3 months in a row