Jan 31, 2014
Jan 30, 2014
New Video: Possessed By Paul James
From his excellent 2013 album, There Will Be Nights When I'm Lonely, here's PPJ with the brand new video for "Songs We Used to Sing." RIYL: Scott H. Biram, The Devil Makes Three, Deer Tick, Lincoln Durham.
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OMG Reviews: Tim McGraw - Lookin' For That Girl
by Brittany Fant, 15-year-old music fan and aspiring reviewer
Damn this is good! I almost thought I'd turned on the pop station for a minute and that's cool! I'm sooooo glad all that rednecky twang is almost gone from the country station forever. I mean, I love real country like Shania Twain and Rascal Flatts, but some of their stuff is just too old timey sounding. Now this is what I like! I can almost forget that Tim McGraw is old enough to be my grandfather because he's staying current (and he's pretty hot for an old dude!). From the opening notes, you just know this is gonna be a hot track. Autotuner is kinda weird for country music but Tim has always been an innovator! It sounds good. This song makes me wanna party with my friends and dance around like crazy. Bobbin' my head like what! Drop it down! Is he talking about twerking? That's probably all this song is missing to be the hippest thing on the radio. I don't know what a "body like a honeycomb" is but I'm guessing it's a simile or metaphor (we're learning about those in language class). All you haters don't know what you're missing. This is just fun, but I guess you don't have time for fun while you're listening to whiney old dudes crying about some woman who left them so they're drinking whiskey and leaning their fat gut against a bar somewhere. David Alan Cole??? Get real! Kids don't wanna hear that mess. Get with the program or step off, lol!
5 heart hands!
Jan 29, 2014
John Rich's Songwriting Tips #69
Songwriting is about staying hip and relevant to pop culture and youth. If you wanna be an "artist" and play to 26 people in a Birmingham dive, that's your thing, but it's stupid. Authenticity is overrated. Nobody ever bought a Bugatti with honesty. I never heard of somebody putting a down payment on a 32,000 square foot house with integrity. I choose success. I choose big wheels on a big truck. I choose ballin', son! If you wanna roll like Mr. Johnny Rich, keep your ear to the winds of change. So what if you've got a voice like Chris Isaak? Has he gone platinum lately? Nah. Tim McGraw sounds like a weasel stuck in a carburetor normally, but he's got the most added song at country radio right now. Why? He knows how to follow trends and compromise himself for monetary gain. It's the American way, tricks. Jerrod Niemann was going nowhere as a "country singer/songwriter" until he started rapping and dropping the bass. Now he's pimpin' pimpin'! You see how it works. Drop your best intentions. Adjust your sails and let the fickle tide of adolescent whims guide your path to a Tag Heuer. Beeleeeeve dat!
*Not actually written by John Rich
Jan 28, 2014
Jan 27, 2014
Eli Young Band Lyric Parody - Bath Salts Last Night
Bath Salts Last Night
(A parody of Eli Young Band's "Drunk Last Night")
I snorted bath salts last night
Went streaking in the midnight rain
Humped somebody's minivan
I'm pretty sure I broke my brain
I know I wasn't thinking straight
I couldn't tell up from right
I punched myself straight in the nuts
I snorted bath salts last night
I sniffed it all up, gave a big shout
It kinda hurt but I lost my doubts
Stole cigarettes, called my job and resigned
Two hits in, lost my shirt,
Hit my head, and blood it spurts
I swear it's the last bump every time
But that's a lie
Might've been a bad day that made me go
Down to my dealer, baby I don't know
Might've been I'm just not very bright
All I know's I snorted bath salts last night
I wore an orange traffic cone
I was king and it was my crown
I don't remember making threats
Just the police tazing me down
I sniffed it all up, gave a big shout
It kinda hurt but I lost my doubts
Stole cigarettes, called my job and resigned
Two hits in, ate my shirt,
Hit my head, and blood it spurts
I swear it's the last bump every time
But that's a lie
Might've been a bad day that made me go
Down to my dealer, baby I don't know
Might've seen a girl dancing with raccoons
Might've even puked on a skinny dude
Might've told some people I'm Luke Bryan
All I know's I snorted bath salts last night
Might've been a bad day that made me go
Down to my dealer, baby I don't know
Might've gone to Walmart in the nude
Might've climbed a pole when the cops pursued
Might've been I'm just not very bright
All I know's I snorted bath salts last night
I sniffed it all up, gave a big shout
It kinda hurt but I lost my doubts
Stole cigarettes, called my job and resigned
Two hits in, lost my shirt,
Sang Slayer songs in a church
I swear it's the last bump every time
But that's a lie
I snorted bath salts last night
I snorted bath salts last night
Sure didn't mean to eat this guy
But I snorted bath salts last night
Jan 26, 2014
Jan 25, 2014
From the Archives: 10 Dumbass Lines That Will Be on Luke Bryan's Next Album
ORIGINALLY POSTED JUN 26, 2012
Top 10 Dumbass Lines That Will Be on the Next Luke Bryan Album
10. How much donk's in that badonkadonk?
9. She's got her hands in the air, showing off that pair
8. Doin' donuts in my truck, wanna hit that donut hole
7. Say "Heyyyyyy, we want some couuuuntryyyyy!"
6. I love you like a fat redneck loves fried okra
5. Pop a cold one, down the gravel road we go
Plug in your iPad, crank some I Heart Radio
4. A bench seat for your country butt
That's the way I like to truck
3. Goin' on down to the fishin hole, gonna put some beers in my mouth hole. -. @AJSwopeLTH
2. Drop it down low if you know what I mean
Get some gravel road dirt on them cut off jeans
1. Sparkle jeans and turnip greens. Country baby! boom boom, shacka lacka. I got more money than you poor suckas. -Lexi Davis (FB)
Jan 24, 2014
YouTube Gems: Jason Eady
From his excellent new country album Daylight & Dark, here's Jason Eady (with Courtney Patton) with "We Might Just Miss Each Other Tonight."
2014 Country Radio Bingo!
Turn on your local Clearchannel country station and play along!
It's not a drinking game because I don't want anyone to die of alcohol poisoning.
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