Showing posts with label Dallas Davidson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dallas Davidson. Show all posts
Oct 31, 2014
Country Horror Movie Posters V: The Stuff
Labels:
Country Horror Movie Posters,
Dallas Davidson,
FGL,
Fireball,
Halloween,
Satire,
Tyler Farr
Country Horror Movie Poster II: Nashville Centipede
Oct 20, 2014
Monday Morning Memes: Luke Bryan, Randy Orton, Bucky, etc.
Labels:
Bucky Covington,
Dallas Davidson,
Luke Bryan,
memes,
Randy Orton,
Satire,
Scott Borchetta,
WWE
Oct 8, 2014
Top 10 Ways Nashville Songwriters are Changing Their Approach in 2014
On 2014's mainstream country radio, we've seen a slight maturing of the content and a subtle movement away from so much "bro." There have also been other shifts, such as nekkid-ness and even more drinking than anyone thought possible. Here are some of the methods Music Row's finest are using to adapt with the times.
Top 10 Ways Nashville Songwriters are Changing
Top 10 Ways Nashville Songwriters are Changing
Their Approach in 2014
10. Learning the names of a larger variety of alcoholic beverages
10. Learning the names of a larger variety of alcoholic beverages
for their songs' characters to drink while driving
09. Requesting that singers pronounce "truck" with a bit of ironic displeasure
08. Extending group of 'outsiders' who should be pummeled by
09. Requesting that singers pronounce "truck" with a bit of ironic displeasure
08. Extending group of 'outsiders' who should be pummeled by
country boys to include people who live in the suburbs, the educated, and bloggers
07. Evolving their sonic palette from 'peak hair metal' (Poison, Bon Jovi)
07. Evolving their sonic palette from 'peak hair metal' (Poison, Bon Jovi)
to 'waning days of hair metal' (Trixter, Danger Danger)
06. Bringing back the working man trope (as long as he don't work in no damn city)
05. Tamping down on the misogyny a bit by giving female characters a larger role, such as
06. Bringing back the working man trope (as long as he don't work in no damn city)
05. Tamping down on the misogyny a bit by giving female characters a larger role, such as
lighting the bonfire, letting down the tailgate, or initiating the unprotected sex
04. Limiting grammatical errors to 2 per song
03. Slyly inserting marijuana references into every song,
04. Limiting grammatical errors to 2 per song
03. Slyly inserting marijuana references into every song,
including quasi-religious songs and anti-immigration anthems
02. Cutting back on incidents of racist, homophobic rants and drunken brawls
01. Full frontal nudity
02. Cutting back on incidents of racist, homophobic rants and drunken brawls
01. Full frontal nudity
Sep 17, 2014
Dallas Davidson: Winner
DD made this comment in response to @DrunkenMartina 's Twitter question:
"Advice for other misogynistic manchildren who want to get rich writing
the same song over and over? #cmchat" during Monday night's Country Music Chat.
Labels:
Dallas Davidson,
Drunken Martina,
memes,
Satire,
Twitter
Sep 9, 2014
Sep 3, 2014
If Dallas Davidson Had Written These Country Classics
And it's DJs, Chevys jacked, EDM music
Muddy, muddy fields that my tires roam
Yeah, my DJs, Chevys jacked, EDM music
And sexting hotties pictures of my dong
Old trucks drive you round the square even when you're drunk as hell
God bless little cutoffs them girls are shakin' so well
That's pretty much the deepest stuff that's ever on my mind
Yeah old trucks and cutoffs and Kroger cherry shine
Raptor with chromed out vents
Custom seat - leather bench
Bluetooth and intake kit
Brand new Powerplant winch
Yo, it's..four hundred horses strong
Drive your girl right out of her thong
I'm the man drivin' with a lean
King of the bros
If you wonder how long we'll be grindin'
Well, just crank up R Kelly's 12 Play
I'm gonna tap it for minutes, and minutes and minutes, lil bae
Hello Darlin'
What's up baby
How you doin'?
Those jeans sure are tight
So shake that money
Like I love to see
Have a cold one
Are you horny
Like I am tonight
Drop the tailgate
And play some Aldean
What's up baby
How you doin'?
Those jeans sure are tight
So shake that money
Like I love to see
Have a cold one
Are you horny
Like I am tonight
Drop the tailgate
And play some Aldean
Aug 7, 2014
I'm Not Lovin' It
Labels:
Dallas Davidson,
memes,
Satire
Jul 16, 2014
What's Worse Than Bro-Country?
Labels:
bro-country,
Dallas Davidson,
Honest Ads,
Maggie Rose,
Satire
Jul 14, 2014
Monday Morning Memes: Garth, Sam Hunt, Dallas Davidson
Labels:
Dallas Davidson,
Donkey,
Garth Brooks,
Jerrod Niemann,
memes,
Sam Hunt,
Satire
Jul 10, 2014
Dallas Davidson's Latest Greatest Hits
Labels:
Dallas Davidson,
memes,
Satire,
That's My Kinda Night,
TMZ
Jun 17, 2014
Top 10 Rules for Writing a Hit Country Song in 2014
Inspired by this. (Link)
10. Check Billboard's charts archives and see
what was popular in pop and rap 10 years ago. Do that.
09. Be a famous person's offspring.
08. Write what you know, unless you know about anything other
than leaning on your truck in a pasture drinking fake moonshine and staring
at the rear ends of females dancing beside a bonfire to a song about leaning
on your truck in a pasture drinking fake moonshine and staring at the
rear ends of females dancing beside a bonfire.
07. When writing a song for a female artist, stop doing that.
06. Move to Nashville. Do you honestly think a record exec is going to come
to your house so you can give them sexual favors to get your foot in the door?
05. Be in a fraternity and when one of your fellow members
gets into the business, they'll hook you up, bro.
04. Go to a club where critically lauded Americana or roots rock artists perform
and listen to their earnest, heartfelt songs. Maybe even talk with them after the show and find out about their motives and inspirations so you can make sure to never do any of that stuff.
03. Kiss ass kiss ass kiss ass.
02. Don't write a country song.
01. Sit down for a few hours with your guitar and a bottle of whiskey and pour out your
emotions into a powerful song about hurt, love and the power of the human spirit.
Then throw that sumbitch in the trash and go write a truck song with 3 other dudes.
Labels:
bro-country,
Dallas Davidson,
Luke Bryan,
Satire,
Top Ten Lists,
Trucks
Mar 18, 2014
If Dallas Davidson Had Written These Big Hits
FTM ponders what these famous rock, R&B, rap and country songs would have sounded like if Dallas Davidson or any of his compadres had written them...
Pearl Jam - Even Flow
Gravel road, trucks arrive tires oversized
Oh, bring some hoes, who can make the sugar shake
Better yet, we'll have Miller Lite again
Lite again, Lite again...
Roberta Flack - First Time Ever I Saw Your Face
The first time ever I saw dat ass
I felt my skinny jeans start to rise
And the moon and the stars over my tailgate
Got to watch me get in them thighs
Merle Haggard - Fightin' Side of Me
If you gone mad-dog, step up:
Let these brass knucks be a warnin'.
If you're cock-blockin' on hotties, son,
You bout to meet the fightin' side of me.
Carl Perkins (Elvis Presley) - Blue Suede Shoes
Well, it's one for the honeys,
Two for the shine,
Three for my Chevy,
Past the county line.
But don't you step on my square-toed boots.
You can do anything but lay off of my square-toed boots.
Jay-Z - 99 Problems
99 problems but a hitch ain't one
If you need to pull a trailer, get a Smittybilt son
I got 99 problems but a hitch ain't one
Hit me
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