Showing posts with label Fireball. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fireball. Show all posts

Dec 13, 2016

Rockin' Around in Skinny Jeans


(I wrote a whole Christmas song parody around @fiveoletsgo 's title.)



Rocking Around in Skinny Jeans
(FTM Lyrical Satirical) 

Rocking around in skinny jeans

at the Christmas party, brah

Some mistletoe hung where chicks can see

It's hanging above my crotch

Rocking around in skinny jeans

Makes the chain on my wallet ring

Later we'll do some body shots

and auto-tuned caroling

You will feel just like a Yuletime baller

When you hear, voices holler

"Let's be merry; Pour me some Goose and cranberry"

Rocking around in skinny jeans

Have a lit ol' holiday

Everyone stumble drunkenly

Round a bonfire of stolen crates

You will feel a little something something

When you see fists are pumping

"Crank some Future; pour a line of Fireball shooters"

Rocking around in skinny jeans

Now it's time to spit some game

Take this ho ho ho dancing merrily

To my jacked up Christmas sleigh

Sep 10, 2015

Friends in Bro Places



There was talk last week of Garth Brooks re-recording his signature hit "Friends in Low Places" with George Strait, Keith Urban, Jason Aldean, and …Florida-Georgia Line. It looks like that's not going to happen now, due to some legal issues, but we like to think if it had happened, the lyrics would have been updated thusly…

"Friends In Bro Places"
(A parody of "Friends in Low Places")

Blame it all on my squad
We showed up real hard
In wife beaters and gelled up hair
We letting folks know
That we down to throw
If you trippin' son
We ain't fightin' fair
And I got so turnt up
So I raised up my cup
When the DJ played some old Drake
And I grinded you
Baby, that's when I knew
I'd hit dat in my Chevrolet

I got friends in bro places
where the Fireball burns
and the sugar's shakin' like oh yay yay
Yeah drop it that way
Got less friends than I got haters
Cause I wave bills with big faces
Oh, I got friends in bro places

Crank the truck and get gone
Yeah my game so strong
Back roads what we're headed for
Crack a Miller Lite
And we're getting tight
Find a field and it's time to score
Hey girl I don't care
There's folks everywhere
It's just where my homies throw down
Nobody will mind
But if you're a shouter
Then they might gather round

I got friends in bro places
where the Fireball burns
and the sugar's shakin' like oh yay yay
Yeah drop it that way
Got less friends than I got haters
I might be just a little racist
Oh, I got friends in bro places

[3rd Verse:]
We're getting it on
To a Kanye song
Yeah man, you know how I do
When some city boys pull up
They're acting real tough
Mad doggin' while I'm tryna screw
I always mean to cause a big scene
Just wait 'til I'm done with this lass
Then son you can bet
You'll pay back that debt
Cause I'm a whoop your ass

Sep 26, 2014

Barbed Wire Tattoo (A Bro-Country Ballad)


Barbed Wire Tattoo - A Bro-Country Ballad
(©2014 FTM Satire)

I tried to send you a shot of my junk
But I guess you're blocking my cell
Somebody said you're with that new punk
That smart dude what talks real well
I know we broke up a few weeks ago
And I'm not supposed to come near
But I've been circling your block real slow
Cinnamon whiskey mixin' with tears

Chorus
How much Fireball is it gonna take to get you off my mind?
How'm I gonna keep this full-size jacked-up truck between the lines?
Now your fine ass goes riding in some college boy's Isuzu
And I gotta cover up your name in this barbed wire tattoo

I tried to hook up with your friend Emily
She can really make that thang shake
But every kiss tasted like your memory
So I made her get off my tailgate
I know you said that I'm a real douche
From my chrome to my Axe Body Spray
But the thought of that nerd screwing you
Makes me want to punch him in the face

How much Fireball is it gonna take to get you off my mind?
How'm I gonna keep this chromed-out Chevy truck between the lines?
Now your fine ass goes riding in some sissy boy's Isuzu
And I gotta cover up your name in this barbed wire tattoo

Bridge
Saw you and him at the stoplight
He was reaching for your hand to hold
Thought about getting out to fight
But I hit the gas and rolled coal

How much Fireball is it gonna take to get you off my mind?
How'm I gonna keep this full-size jacked-up truck between the lines?
Now your fine ass goes riding in some college boy's Isuzu
And I gotta cover up your name in this barbed wire tattoo

Tag
I tried to send you a shot of my junk

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