Country Twitter Fails: March '23

 

Cringey Luke Bryan Photo of the Week

No One on Facebook Ever Heard of Luke Bryan

Despite country music superstar Luke Bryan having sold over 16 million albums, achieving dozens of #1 hits, selling out concerts across the country, performing at major sporting events, being in commercials, and winning piles of awards, most users of the social media platform Facebook reported Thursday that they were entirely unaware of his existence. 

“Who?” asked Jerry Dickens of Shreveport, in response to a story about Luke’s favorite fishing lure on Whiskey Riff, and the sentiment seemed to be prevalent across the Facebook landscape. Up to 77% of readers of the country music humor page Farce the Music reported being unfamiliar with the Georgia singer. Dickens assured us that his comment was not to add to his “real country” cred, or to look cool to other pop-country haters.

Bryan, who debuted on the country charts 17 years ago and has been a prevalent force in the industry ever since, also has his own festival, his own restaurant, and his own brand of beer. Be that as it may, he has somehow escaped the attention of a majority of Facebook users. 

“Luke Bryan, who’s she?” commented Dick Berry of West Memphis, AR, below a We Hate Pop Country meme this past Tuesday. This highlights another mystery of the perception of Bryan - that he is a female. How one could come to the conclusion that Luke is a woman’s name is certainly odd, and we’re fairly certain no one on Facebook would ever stoop so low as to misgender someone as an insult. 

At press time, Larry Richards of Raleigh, NC was preparing an incomprehensible FB comment about Bryan being a homosexual (but certainly not in a negative light) despite being oblivious to Bryan’s very presence in this corporeal plane. 

The 30 Day Country Song Challenge

Cringey Luke Bryan Photo of the Week

Luke Bryan Listens to His Heart

The Last of Us Country Reaction Gifs

Why I don't really wanna listen to country music from anyone under 25 years old

Waking up from a bad dream that the only 'country' shows coming to my town this year are Luke Bryan and Sam Hunt... only to find out it's true

Them: Have you been listening to Arlo McKinley again?

Me: No, why?

When I hear .2 seconds of a Kane Brown song

Why are you still listening to old ass country music in 2023?

When somebody brings up that rappers say the n-word, when discussing Morgan Wallen

Society if Turnpike Troubadours never got back together

Dude, check out this new Kidd G song!

Why is Morgan Wallen so popular? He's no better than a drunk dude at karaoke covering bro-country songs

Still More Monday Memes: Clay Walker, Luke Bryan, Blake Shelton

Cringey Luke Bryan Photo of the Week

The Crud Report, March '23, Vol. II

Bubba Shot the TouchTunes

Bubba Shot the TouchTunes

©2023 Farce the Music Parody

We were all down at O’Brady’s bar

Tellin' stories if we had one

Someone fired the new TouchTunes up

The song it sure was a bad one

A sweat drop rolled down Bubba's nose

From the cringe the song was inflictin'

And all at once he jumped to his feet

Yelled “You’ve got to be shittin’!”

Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night

Said it played a bad song that got him riled

Went to his truck and grabbed his Armalite

Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night

Bubba ain't never been a fan

Of pop songs with twangy singin’

And he did not care for Thomas Rhett

So he let the bullets go slinging

He bought a round 'til the cops showed up

Was the toast of Beef O’Brady’s

We told him, “You know that was pretty dumb”

But our ears did appreciate it

Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night

Said it played a bad song that got him riled

Went to his truck and grabbed his Armalite

Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night

When the sheriff arrived with his swat team crew

Lookin’ for our troublemaker

He shook his head and said

"Bubba boy, you was always a hater”

A reckless discharge of a gun

And putting the public in danger

Bubba hollered out danger hell

Been worse if Luke Bryan was playin’

Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night

Said it played a bad song that got him riled

Went to his truck and grabbed his Armalite

Well, he shot the TouchTunes

Stopped it with ten shots

Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night

Well, he gave not a single shit

As that song machine died

Wasn’t no Waylon on that list

So it’s premeditated homicide

Bubba shot the TouchTunes

Stopped it with ten shots

Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night

Good Taste in Food and Music

Cringey Luke Bryan Photo of the Week

Wrasslin' Country Reaction Gifs #68

Me looking over the Billboard country chart

Wanna go see Pony Bradshaw?

When your friend passed out 3/4 into a Lucero concert but he's ready to restart the party

When you find out your cousin is really

into Upchurch and Katie Noel

Trying to read the badly spelled, grammatically incorrect Facebook replies every time I post something about Morgan Wallen

Pop country singer trying to go outlaw

When the band comes out for an encore even though you knew they were going to

When you take over the party's DJing halfway through a Luke Bryan song

Me when normally reserved country artists talk shit about other artists online

I had the best of intentions