The Crud Report: February 2020 (a day early)

What Your Favorite Album of 2019 Says About You

Lizzo - Cuz I Love You

You started listening to this so your daughter would think you’re cool. She does not.

Thomas Rhett - Center Point Road

You can talk for hours on end without ever saying anything of importance. You go to church just so you look cute on Instagram once a week.

Billie Eilish - When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?

Your mom started listening to Lizzo so you’d think she’s cool. You don’t, but mostly because she won’t let you have blue hair or date a 23 year old.

Vampire Weekend - Father of the Bride

You’re at the age that you know what yuppies felt like in the 90s. You drive a Volvo.

Miranda Lambert - Wildcard

You don’t get drunk on the weekends as much anymore, but only because the hangovers really hurt in your mid-30s. You’ve had non-physical fights with your significant other so loud that the police were called …more than once.

George Strait - Honky-Tonk Time Machine

Country radio is not for you, but you don’t care if other people like it. You iron your jeans and only have one tattoo you got in the Navy.

Cody Jinks - The Wanting

Country radio is not for you, and f*ck anybody who likes it. You’re still wearing the same jeans from Saturday and have at least two skull tattoos.

Mitchell Tenpenny - Telling All My Secrets

You don’t know what year it is and have the shittiest taste in music possible. 

Koe Wetzel - Harold Saul High

You have a jacked up truck with exhaust stacks, fight with your girlfriend in public, and are drunk right now. But you still think you’re better than those douchebags who listen to Florida-Georgia Line.

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This is satire. Don't take it seriously.

Also, if your favorite wasn't here, there will probably be another edition.
Idea stolen from Medium.

Really Dumb Country Reviews: Dec. '19

From a popular digital music service.

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Dan + Shay & Bieber - 10,000 Hours

Highwomen - s/t

Miranda Lambert - Wildcard

Jason Aldean - 9

Cody Jinks - The Wanting

Upchurch - Parachute

Ashley McBryde - One Night Standards

Blake & Trace - Hell Right

Luke Bryan - What She Wants Tonight

Untrue Facts About Cody Jinks, Miranda Lambert, etc.

Deleted Scenes From Country Videos 3

 (let them load all the way, some are large)

 (Tyler Childers - House Fire)

(Old Town Road)

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country: Oct. '19

A poop emoji is negative; a strike-thru is positive.

The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-8) overall which is a 2 point improvement from July (the previous time we did this chart). The best song on the chart is Jon Pardi’s “Heartache Medication.”  The worst is Blake Shelton & Trace Adkins’ “Hell Right.” 

Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.

Really Dumb Country Reviews: October '19

These are real reviews from a popular digital music service.

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Zac Brown Band - The Owl

The Highwomen - s/t

Jon Pardi - Heartache Medication

Upchurch - Parachute

Sturgill Simpson - Sound & Fury

(yeah, I know it's not actually country)

Miranda Lambert - Wildcard

Miranda Lambert Debuts New Song "Dark Bars"

Welp, it's been taken down. Hope you got to hear it while it was up.

Country TwitterFAIL: August '19

*Foul language and bad opinions below!*

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