Farce the Music: Toby Keith

Dec 5, 2012

Toby Keith Parody

This is kind of an oldie, but it might still be funny to those

of you with a third grade sense of humor (like me).

Need To Potty

(Parody of Toby Keith’s “She’s a Hottie”)

We were jammed in traffic on I-59

My four year old was swayin’ side to side,

Hunched in his booster seat, squeezing his hips

It happens every time we take a trip

Hey mama, think I’ve gotta

Turn loose of all this juice and water

So find a McDonalds or a rest stop, won’t ya dad?

If I don’t get relief this could really get bad

Potty! Need to potty!! Hey listen up everybody!

The Iron Man on my underpants

‘bout to turn into Aquaman

Potty! Need to potty!! My tummy’s feelin’ oddly

Oh no mommy mommy, drive fast daddy daddy, ah ah ah ah ahhhhh

We were sittin’ in church

Preacher reading a verse

My son dropped his crayon, lookin’ kinda sick

Teardrops in his eyes, he whispered “Uh oh”, I was feelin’ like Noah before the big flow,

It hurts! Gonna squirt!!!

He’s sweatin’ through his polo shirt

Mama gotta get that boy to the bathroom and don’t be late

Quick before he gets ahold of the offerin’ plate

Potty! Need to potty!! Hey listen up everybody!

Preacher shook his head at the scene

Choir lady fainted when he screamed

Potty! Need to potty!! My tummy’s feelin’ oddly

Oh no mommy mommy, move move daddy daddy, ah ah ah ah ahhhhh

One Friday night, got the boy off to sleep,

My wife dimmed the lights and kissed me on the cheek,

We sipped a little wine and it was getting real hot

When the boy came runnin’ in holding his crotch

Potty! Need to potty!! And I’m so scared of the dark mommy!

Somebody please come take me to go

Before my private place explodes

Potty! Need to potty!! My sheets are kinda spotty

Get up mommy mommy, what’s wrong daddy daddy?, ah ah ah ah ahhhhh

Whoops.

Jul 26, 2012

OMG Reviews: Toby Keith - I Like Girls That Drink Beer

by Brittany Fant, 14-year-old music fan and aspiring reviewer

Click here to listen to the song.

I'm 2 young 2 drink beer and Toby Keith is decrepit old so why am I even listening to this? Uhhh, he's such a redneck. He like loves America so much he wants to put a boot up people's booty. That's disgusting. I'm patriotic I guess, but not like that. Maybe if Hunter Hayes wore a pair of red, white and blue skinny jeans, I'd salute Old Glory even more! Hunter, I love yououououououououou!

Sooo, pretty much, this song is about how this greasy old chunky guy likes girls who drink beer. It sounds really country. I mean really really country. Like old country. U know ---> like it came from the 90s or something, when my parents were just out of college. They didn't even have cell phones or the internet or Facebook back then. How did they even make it for more than an hour without going crazy?

This song isn't good. Toby Keith is gross. He looks like one of those guys that gets caught on To Catch a Predator. Like, "Uh, howdy Chris Hanson, I was just here 2 teach this young girl how 2 sing songs about putting footwear in bottoms."

People like Toby Keith and George Strait should just go on and check in2 the rest home and leave REAL COUNTRY MUSIC to the stars of today, like HUNTER HUNTER HUNTER and THOMAS RHETT and HUNTER HUNTER HUNTER!

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