10. The performers will be singing pop-country.
9. It's the first place your parole officer will look for you.
8. They have both kinds of beer: Bud Light with or without lime.
7. If a girl has all of her teeth, she's underage.
6. The glare from Luke Bryan's teeth has been know to cause permanent retina damage.
5. You may be forced to park under a lifted truck if the parking garage is packed.
4. Colt Ford will be granted entry before you.
Concession stands will resemble Old Mother Hubbard's cupboard.
3. Are you male? Do you have a tattoo of a deer visible when you wear a sleeveless shirt?
Are your jeans overly tight? Is getting your GED a life goal?
If you answered yes to at least 3 of these, you just became the opening act.
2. Unless you're in the front row, you can't see Justin Moore on stage.
1. Old shiny skinned white guys acting like they're teenagers.
-by Jeremy Harris
