Farce the Music

May 8, 2013

How to Write Like Ray Wylie Hubbard

If you're not following RWH on Twitter or Facebook, you're missing out. He's a wealth of Buddha-esque knowledge, wild stories and tomfoolery, as this short piece (collected from Twitter) on "how to write like Ray" reveals.

E chord without the third. gloria or louie, louie riff.
smokestack lightning groove.
nursery rhymes about reptiles,
card games, the devil, knives.
throw away all flat picks and get them fingers
thinking independently from each other.
listen to mance, lightnin, muddy, the wolf, john lee,
townes, l. cohen and ernest tubb.
read a lot of mythology.
get a pair of rough out cowboy boots, a black t shirt, your grandmother's wire rim glasses and
put blue lenses in 'em and cut your own hair.
thats it.
it ain't exactly secrets of the spinx.
now go forth into the adventurous joyful mysterious world of songwriting and wear it as if it were an albatross hanging around your neck till judgement day.
also know there will be years on your income tax return you will be just above hobby status.
good luck (but don't depend on it)
rwh

Naughty by Nature

Simmer Down, Gary

Potential New Tattoos for Shooter Jennings

When FTM contributor Jeremy met Shooter Jennings at the Moonrunners Festival, he saw the new back tattoo Shooter was in the process of getting. Here, I ponder the possibilities...

The moonrunners.com special edition

May 7, 2013

YouTube Junk: Mikel Knight

LOL

Honest Radio Promo Ad: Lee Brice - Parking Lot Party

Little Known Facts: May '13

LL Cool J's next single will be titled "Accidental Sellout".

Justin Moore only wears a cowboy hat for one reason. To protect his soft spot.

If you stare into a mirror and repeat "Little Debbie" three times, Gary Levox will appear.

The Brantley Gilbert fact for this month has been edited out by Trailer due to not being offensive enough.

The only two boobs in music bigger than those belonging to Dolly Parton

are the two singing in Florida Georgia Line.

Curb Records is no longer adding new artists to its roster, only lawyers.

While savingcountrymusic.com has been accused of hacking one time,

farcethemusic.com is accused of being written by hacks daily.

94% of all Robert Earl Reed music that is purchased is by people

attempting to buy a Robert Earl Keen album.

Travis Tritt still receives counseling due to his emotional scars from an early 90's feud with Billy Ray Cyrus.

The Zac Brown Band's tour bus sleeps 20. The remaining band members usually get a hotel.

The reward for taking a picture of Jamey Johnson crying in public

is you get beaten to death by Jamey Johnson.

Thanks to Jeremy Harris for most of these.

Top 10 Co-hosts CMT Considered Before Jason Aldean

Kristin Bell and the ever-ebullient Jason Aldean will be hosting this year's CMT Awards. Here are the other 10 potential co-hosts for Bell CMT considered before Aldean.

(Editor's note: I'm not sure how some of these could have actually co-hosted, but go with it...)