Showing posts with label Chase Rice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chase Rice. Show all posts

Oct 6, 2015

Country Star Google Searches 2

Ever wonder what your favorite (or least favorite) country stars seek when they
summon the power of the all-knowing Google. Well, wonder no more!*



Chase Rice

 Cole Swindell

Dallas Davidson 

Garth Brooks 

Sam Hunt

Shooter Jennings

Tim McGraw

Toby Keith



*not real

Aug 28, 2015

Aug 21, 2015

The Farce the Music Wall of Honor

We here at FTM consider it a positive, nay a victory, when an enemy of truth in country music on Twitter has finally had their fill of brutal honesty from us and blocks our account. While still nowhere near the level we hope to achieve, we've had at least 5 well known artists/head honchos deem us unworthy of reading their tweets. Witness, the FTM Wall of Honor!


Had to go back and add the infamous Mikel Knight, Country Rap King, as well...


Aug 5, 2015

Little Known Facts: August 2015


Def Leppard will be reissuing their entire catalog and sending all singles to country radio.
No remastering or editing will be performed.

Chase Rice has a punch card for the health department: collect 11 std's, get the 12th visit free.

I recently asked Ray Wylie Hubbard how it felt to be the second most successful Hubbard
in country music after Tyler. I wrote these facts while recovering in the hospital.

According to a recent interview with SavingCountryMusic.com Steven Tyler's two biggest 
pet peeves are: 1. People saying his country single sucks. 2. Online petitions asking him to
turn in his 1976 decathlon gold metal.

Bill Cosby knows every Tyler Farr song by heart.

With their upcoming album, The Damn Quails hope to surpass Texas rapper Lyndon U. MyJohnson 
as the most successful musical act to name themselves after a vice president's name.
 *editor's note: Yes, I know…

Blake Shelton filed for divorce after hearing that Ol' Red had began to play the field.

Elizabeth Cook once knocked Ronda Rousey out in a bar fight.

Shooter Jennings was nearly killed while playing in a McDonald's playland ball-pit
when Gary Levox confused him for an abandoned Chicken McNugget.

Jason Isbell was the only artist on the Billboard country top ten that had
heard of all the artists in the top ten last week.

When you play a Sam Hunt song backwards it's still not country.

Bucky Covington was recently fired from Apple as the person typing
your message when you use speak to text on an iPhone.

------------
92% of these written by Jeremy Harris

Aug 4, 2015

Sam Rice and Chase Hunt

Country Singer Yankee Candles

So Luke Bryan has his own Yankee Candle now, according to this bit of marketing art.



The official description is "vanilla bourbon," but we like to think that the ideal "Luke Bryan" aroma would contain subtle notes of sweat, baby powder, and white zinfandel.

Now, what if other current mainstream country stars got their own Yankee Candle scents…. 
what would they smell like?


 

 Sam Hunt: Drakkar, body odor, and Forever 21



 Blake Shelton: beer and Adam Levine Eau de Toilette



 Chase Rice: a leather wallet with a condom in it



Florida-Georgia Line: Cinnamon and pepper spray 



Gary LeVox: Ben-Gay, Paul Mitchell styling gel,
and bear claws




Brantley Gilbert: gun powder, Summer's Eve, and brass

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