Wrasslin' Country Reaction Gifs #93

Still better than listening to a Dan + Shay song

Pop-country songwriter to his publisher: "You'll never believe what I wrote about this time. It's gonna change country music!"

When you go to an Americana festival and there are no broccoli haired dudes saying bruh while killing High Noons

"Kane Brown, could you please stop trying to unsave country music?"

The 3 times a year John Moreland logs onto Instagram

New Vandoliers album tomorrow!

Me listening to Turnpike while doomscrolling the apocalypse

Steve: "Hey Rock, you heard of this Cody Jinks fella?"

Rock: "The Rock knew about him way before you"

Steve:

Me: Posts pretty tame meme joking about Morgan Wallen

His fans:

Spotify board meeting

He did not know he could not fly

So he did

When I tell you trap beats don't belong in country songs

When a b*tch won't stop talking during the Jesse Daniel concert, even though you asked her politely

Sad Iceberg

Wrasslin' Country Reaction Gifs #84

We'll put a wrestling boot in your ass

It's the American way

Name 1 Chad Brock song.

Your one friend who showed up to the Billy Strings concert already zooted

Oh my mama, ain't that Texas cookin' something?

What were 90% of bro-country songs about?

Still better than going to a Kane Brown concert

Me after pissing off a bunch of teenage girls on Facebook with my latest Morgan Wallen meme

Hey kid, this guy said Taylor Swift sucks!

If you ever go back into Wooley Swamp son

You better not go at night

If you were forced to go to a Jason Aldean concert, what would be your reaction?

Saturday Night Music / The Trishas / "She Ain't Going Nowhere" (Guy Clark)

Pee Wee's Big Adventure Country Reaction Gifs

I guess he shouldn't have tried to do 

the Tequila dance in a small town

Hoping to hear a fiddle on country radio

When the bar plays "Sangria Wine"

I know a man that cook armadillo

Taste so sweet he called it pie

Willie Nelson circa 1972

People calling each other liberals in the Facebook comments of a non-political country meme

*Listens to Garth Brooks and Jason Isbell in a row one time

"Why won't you admit Sam Hunt is country?"

When you're trying to break up nicely, but it's really because she likes Morgan Wallen

Country + Rap + Crap? Never heard that one before.

When you touch the radio while Marge is listening to Patsy Cline

 RIP Paul.

Overly Politically Correct Country Songs: Zach Bryan, REK, Loretta, etc.

Don't get bent, I'm just having fun with the English language.

Guy Clark - Wayward Persons Waiting for a Train

Loretta Lynn - Climate Change Facilitator’s Offspring

Robert Earl Keen - Non-Hispanic American Honeymoon

& Happy Holidays from the Group of Persons Living Together

Ray Wylie Hubbard - Intercourse You, We’re from Land Stolen From Mexico

Gretchen Wilson - Uncultured Rural Cishet Female

Reckless Kelly - Mentally Challenged Eddie’s Last Hurrah

Cross Canadian Ragweed - Young CIS Males from Oklahoma

Dolly, Linda, and Emmylou - To Know Xem is to Love Xem

Rhett Akins - I Brake for Blue Hairs

Conway Twitty - Lascivious Male Glare Upon The Female Form in Denim

Zach Bryan - Extremely Attractive CIS Female From Oklahoma

Wheeler Walker Jr. - Cunnilingus/Physical Assault

Southern Traitor Railroad - Sexually Liberated Womyn

Miranda Lambert - Caucasian Mistruth Teller

Roger Miller - My Xio Used to Love Me but Xe Died

Man Who Makes Sure You Know He’s Too Good for Country Music Adores Theory of a Deadman

Mr. Burns' "Best Songs Ever" playlist

Jesse Burns, 39, of Lowell, MA, has unparalleled taste in music and wants you to know so. “All country music sucks, so who cares? Only slack jawed Trumpers listen to that crap.” commented the divorced dad of two on a Farce the Music Facebook meme about country music. His comment received one thumbs up, 2 laughing faces, and 8 angry faces. 

The meme showed up in his timeline due to a former high school friend Jesse forgot to unfollow sharing it. Incensed that he should be reminded of the mere existence of country music, Mr. Burns made sure to make his high falutin opinion known to all. He has far too refined sensibilities for even one person on earth to think he could listen to the addle brained yawping of sister sexing hillbillies. 

“That shit blows ass,” said Burns when we sent him a PM asking politely for some explanation. “LOOOL, you need to get a life, f**king redneck.” Since we couldn’t get Burns to engage in a civil conversation about his disdain of country music, we decided to analyze his supposed stellar taste.

His Facebook profile page was partially public and a recent post bragged excitedly of getting tickets for the upcoming Louder Than Life festival in Kentucky. He specifically mentioned his excitement about seeing those paragons of music, Theory of a Deadman, for the 9th time. He was also hyped about Chevelle, Ghostemane, Sevendust, Pop Evil, Papa Roach, Shaman’s Harvest, and whoever Yungblud is. 

Clearly a man of unquestionable artistic preferences, Jesse Burns is far too intelligent and cultured for the inbred idiocy of Kris Kristofferson, or the uneducated foolishness of Merle Haggard, or the bland white trash stylings of Tammy Wynette. 

We also found Jesse’s public Spotify playlist entitled “Best Songs Ever.” Prominently featured are the aforementioned Theory of a Deadman who are definitely not a subpar Nickelback cover band. It also includes the stylings of Hinder, Saving Abel, and whatever a Crossfade is. Obviously this man is far too sophisticated for the moonshine swilling moronicness of Guy Clark, or the trailer park platitudes of Dolly Parton, or the barely literate ponderings of Tyler Childers. 

At press time, Jesse Burns was cursing at his ex-wife on the phone with a Sam Adams in hand, while Buckcherry blared in the background. But at least he doesn’t like country.

Hamburger Themed Country Parody Album Covers

 Weird idea inspired by Zach Russell and crew on Twitter.

Here's one for Zach.

Country Twitter Wins: May '22