Top 10 Traits for Getting a Country Record Deal 2022

10. A built in audience of TikTok fans you duped into thinking you were talented

9. A gym membership

8. Generic, character-free male country voice

7. Willingness to be an opening act forever (females)

6. Willingness to be a headliner with your own bus right out of the gate (males)

5. Ability to politely say nothing with many words, when asked about a serious topic in an interview

4. Strong knowledge of hair care techniques, including advanced shampoo and condition, heat protection, volumizer, mousse, and shine serum

3. Have large or new family and only talk about them ever and nothing else

2. Musical inspirations must include at least 3 of the following: 21 Pilots, John Mayer, Lil Wayne, Drake, Ariana Grande, Sugar Ray, Kanye, Keith Urban, Imagine Dragons, Taylor Swift (pop era).

1. Be boring as dry dog shit

Andy Griffith Show Country Reaction Gifs 2

An ugly girl, well, she'll leave you too

but then again who really cares?

Warren Zeiders, you may not even have an album out yet, but

What would you do if everybody in the world was a Walker Hayes fan?

When the DJ on the mainstream station says more country is coming up, but it never comes up

When you catch your kid listening to Luke Bryan

When somebody explains to me how copying pop trends from three years ago is country music evolving

Maybe the men get better looking at closing time too

Minding my business in a waiting room when somebody's Florida-Georgia Line ringtone goes off

There's more old drunks than there are old doctors

Reginald Spears vs. FGL, Bobby Bones, Warren Zeiders, etc.

The Future Looks Sad

The Crud Report: February '22

 A few days early.

Country Twitter Wins: January '22

*foul language warning*

Country Twitter Fails: January '22

(The Ernest song is good tho)

This one's from Facebook, but had to include it. Yep, I'm taking a shot at the writers too.

The Houston Rodeo Has Really Fallen Off This Year

*not real, obviously

Least Anticipated Albums of 2022

Oh wait, that's a real album...

Monday Morning Memes: Luke Bryan, Morgan Wallen, Dan + Shay