Sanford and Son Country Reaction Gifs

If somebody says "the new Thomas Rhett song will blow you away"

If you've never seen Heartworn Highways

When all your rowdy friends come over

When someone you trusted said they just bought tickets to see Jason Aldean

When Grady says Ray Charles sucks

If you're not an Ashley McBryde fan...

When your friend finds a Big & Rich CD in your old collection

If you think the definition of country music is "whatever they're playing on the mainstream country station"

Small Town Way Sh**tier Than Country Songs Say

Auburn sophomore Paul Reynolds, home on Thanksgiving break, came to the startling realization that his hometown is way shittier than mainstream country songs say it is. In fact, just the drive back into his southern Georgia birthplace showed that it was a poorly-maintained, slowly dying crap-hole compared to the idyllic settings portrayed on the pop-country airwaves.

The old family-owned drugstore where he used to buy candy as a kid was now a payday loan with an ice cream counter. Where there wasn’t a pawn shop or high interest-rate financial scam business, there was a Walgreens or CVS. There were approximately 32 Dollar Generals. There was one Dollar General you could see another Dollar General from. Were there any Cole Swindell verses about Dollar Generals? 

Paul drove downtown, where country songs say the square is epicenter of tiny town culture. No teenagers were cruising, but there were about 5 of them in the vape shop that used to be a fancy cigar shop. He heard no bluegrass band playing on the plaza, but there were a couple of gunshots nearby. The beloved old men’s clothing store was now a hip wedding party venue for the private school set. Never heard about that in a Brantley Gilbert song.

Wednesday night, he figured he’d hit up his old high school friends to go out. Unfortunately, his buddy Matt had some sort of Facebook drama with his baby mama and couldn’t risk having his picture taken at the bar that night. Larry wasn’t home because he was in jail for selling pills. He thought about calling Kenneth, but Kenneth had a face tattoo now. Justin Moore never sang about this shit.

Throwing one last Hail Mary in an attempt to capture that throwback vibe of an Aldean tune, Paul went out and sipped a beer on a picnic table at the lake. Many a bonfire party and make-out session had taken place here, but tonight there was only one sketchy dude asking if he wanted to buy some meth. “Kiss my ass, Dustin Lynch” Paul told the confused narcotics dealer, before driving back to his folks’ house, completely sobered up. 

Country TwitterFAIL: Nov. '19

WWE Country Reaction Gifs 39

If you buy Jason Aldean's new album on CD, make sure you shine it up real good

What does anyone see in Mitchell Tenpenny?

♫ ♬ You say you were wrong to ever leave me alone

Now you're sorry, you're lonesome and scared... ♫ ♬

If somebody plays Florida-Georgia Line on the bar jukebox

  

Sam Hunt has a new song

After listening to Thomas Rhett for .02 seconds

Trying to figure out how Dan + Shay is country

When somebody says black people are part of the history of country music*

*https://www.gq.com/story/hulk-hogan-is-getting-the-redemption-story-he-never-earned

More Monday Memes: Steve Earle, Luke Bryan, Jason Aldean

90s Rock vs 2010s Country

This Guy Rants About Women on Country Radio

All right, so the controversy of the day is women singing country music. Lots of feminists say their isn’t enough chicks on country radio. They say there isn’t enough babes singing at country festivals. I don’t know what there smoking.

I looked at the country chart and there is at least 6 female singers in the top 40. Last year there was like 3, so that’s a huge victory for the feminazis in my book. They already made me have to listen to 50% more women then I had to in 2018, if my math is right. What the hell more do they want??

Let’s just look at the numbers for a minute. 6 women. That’s more than has ever been president. 6 women. That’s more than has ever been the WWE Universal Champion. 6 women. It only takes one to make me a sandwich, LMAO.

Listen, I have great respect for the female sex. One of them raised me. Women are good at lots of stuff. There better arguers. They are good at shopping. And the female form is my favorite thing to look at in the world. 

But when it comes to country music, it’s a mans world baby. Men drive the pickup trucks. Men buy the drinks. That’s the two things that country music is about in 2019. I don’t want to here a woman singing about “he bought me a drink and asked me to get in his F-150” because that might put me in touch with my feminine side and that’s gay.

Also, girls’ voices are not as good as the guys. There high pitched and they shriek a lot. When I here them sing, it’s like my ex girlfriend yelling at me for accidentally having sex with her roommate. I don’t want to think about bad stuff. And that’s another thing. Women sing about all this serious stuff. I just want to party bruh. I just wanna raise up some Nattys and get wild. You can’t get lit to some babe singing about “girl won’t you stop your cryin’.” That ain’t it sis. 

So anyway, y’all should be celebrating in the street wearing vagina hats or whatever, sense their’s more women on the radio now. I don’t like it but if it makes the lefties shut up, I’ll deal with it. But don’t keep raising a stink about this stuff. Stay in your lane. I’ll stay in mine, swerving in my full size with the Jason Aldean blasting out the damn windows!

I Had to Use This Quote Eventually

Whiskey Myers vs. Jason Aldean

Advice From Aldean

Titanic Country Reaction Gifs

When he says he's going to Cody Jinks with his friends and not taking you

How long since you've heard a country song on country radio?

When Jack's been listening to Kane Brown

What's it like to listen to the new Jason Aldean song?

When your mother says new country is better because her era was all twangy and sad.

She's cranking up "Huntin', Fishin', and Lovin' Every Day" but

When Stapleton then Strait or Reba play in a row on the CMA Awards and you feel like the king of the world, but

there's a Florida-Georgia Line iceberg on the way

There's some kind of metaphor for country radio here