To be fair, Ernest is better than most on the mainstream chart. But he's also pretty awful at times.
Idea by Craig Toney
Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts
Apr 16, 2024
6 New AI Illustrated Country Songs
Titles at the end.
Garth Brooks "Friends in Low Places"
Reba "Fancy"
Patsy Cline “I Fall to Pieces”
Vince Gill “Go Rest High on that Mountain”
Zach Bryan “Something in the Orange”
Toby Keith “I Love This Bar”
Apr 15, 2024
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Apr 14, 2024
Apr 12, 2024
Lost 90s Country Song Was Somehow Too Cheesy to Release
Because it was “Did I Do That?” a phrase made popular by Family Matters character Urkel (played by Jaleel White), a lovable nerd who was often hilariously and disastrously clumsy. Now, that hook might work for an uptempo party song, but this was no “Ain’t Goin’ Down (Till the Sun Comes Up)” or “I Like It, I Love It”; it was a fiddle and steel, cry-in-your-beer heartbreak song.
The tearjerker, written by Craig Wiseman and Gary Loyd was pitched to around 15 different artists, with only 1 cutting the tune. The singer, who can’t be named, but whose name rhymes with Lacey Turd, had hoped to include the song on his 1996 album and release it as a single; they even had single artwork completed.
That’s when higher ups at MCA stepped in and told him and producers that “Did I Do That?” was just too dopey, even for the 90s (and even for an artist who’d later release the gem, “Ten Rounds With Jose Cuervo”). So the song just went into the vaults never to be heard again.
Even Wiseman, who’d go on to become one of the most successful songwriters and music execs in mainstream country is ashamed of “Did I Do That?” “Where’d you even find out about it?” he laughed. “We must’ve had some good weed in the writers’ room that day… a sad song based on a goofy exclamation from a TV dork… it’s even dumber than (Blake Shelton & Trace Adkins’) “Hillbilly Bone” which I am also quite ashamed to have my name associated with”
When asked if the song might ever see the light of day, Wiseman said “There were several lyrics based on other absurd quotes from the show… and on the last chorus, (singer) even sang the hook similarly to Urkel’s delivery… so honestly, I hope whatever vault the tapes were in burned down and then flooded and then the debris was dispersed by straight-line winds to the horizon.”
Wiseman did provide the few following lyrics from the song (to the best of his recollection):
My little sweet potato
With eyes so sad and blue
Baby I’ve got to know
If I’m the one that did that to you
My perfect baby cakes
Laura, why did you go?
Was it my mistakes
That got you feelin’ so low
(Part of chorus)
Did I do that?
Break your heart too many times
You ain’t comin’ back
And all the fault is mine”
Apr 11, 2024
Original Title and Album Cover of 49 Winchester's Upcoming Release
And here's what they settled on. Oh well, I'm sure it'll still be good.
Scarface Country Reaction Gifs
When a local DJ announces Justin Moore to the stage
When they play you their favorite country song but it sounds like Three Doors Down with more twang
When Tommy left the bar room, not a Gatlin boy was standing
When you've never made it to the end of Johnny Cash's "Cocaine Blues"
If Jason Aldean fans call it hipster-country, then probably...
Johnny Paycheck, that fateful day
The proper reply to every bro-country pickup line
When you tell her the 'country' she's listening to is just southern pop sung by pretty boys
When you lay into ‘em with that Kentucky Thunder
When your boy is about to hurl a chair off Eric Church's bar at some cops
Apr 10, 2024
Overly Politically Correct Americana Songs
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Colonizer House Road - Tyler Childers
Tulsa Female-Bodied Monarch - Emmylou Harris
Oklahoman Offspring - Zach Bryan
Fortune Favors the Privileged - 49 Winchester
Person’s Companion Animal - 49 Winchester
Sex Work Managers and Religious Leaders - Paul Thorn
Satisfied Person With a Uterus Depressive Episode - Lucinda Williams
Transgender Ramblin’ Railroad Blues - Colter Wall
Call a Spade a Spade - Turnpike Troubadours
Squatter - Turnpike Troubadours
Same Manufactured Home, Different Manufactured Home Community (Album) - Kacey Musgraves
Disenfranchised Folx - Flatland Cavalry
Visually Appealing CIS Females - Flatland Cavalry
Aged Male-Bodied Person - Neil Young and Mentally Challenged Horse
Unaliving-Prone Saturday Night - Arlo McKinley
Life of Transgressions Toward an Imaginary Sky Deity - Sturgill Simpson
Long Caucasian Line - Sturgill Simpson
I’d Have to Be Atypical - Sturgill Simpson
I Had a Real Good Gestational and Non-Gestational Parent - Gillian Welch
Likely Christian-Nationalist CIS Woman - The Red Clay Strays
Apr 9, 2024
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