Showing posts with label bro-country. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bro-country. Show all posts
Jun 24, 2014
Douchenbach (Parody Lyric)
Douchenbach, Georgia
(Lyric Parody of Waylon & Willie's "Luckenbach, TX")
The only two things in life that make it worth livin'
Is DJs that drop bass and ass shakin' women
I just need my name on a tatt that's tight
I bust my rhymes so you'll go down on me tonight
Maybe it's time we got this Chevy stuck in the mud
Let's go to Douchenbach, Georgia
With Aldean and Brantley and the dudes
Get these Rockford Fosgates kickin'
We'll be crankin' up the Fiddy and Ja Rule
Between Hank Junior's boozin' and
FGL's Cruisin' and Juvy backin' that thang up
Out in Douchenbach, Georgia everybody's raisin' they cups
So baby let's buy some wallet chains
Square toed boots and shiny jeans and go away
This mowing yards has got to stop
And working at your beauty shop, you cry all day
We've been so busy living home with our moms
They won't let us smoke and throw out our beer bongs
Maybe it's time we got this Chevy stuck in the mud
Let's go to Douchenbach, Georgia
With Colt Ford, Cole Swindell and the bros
Get these Rockford Fosgates kickin'
We'll be crankin' up some Chingy and some J-Kwon tho'
Between Snoop Doggy's tokin' and
Limp Bizkit Rollin' and Toby Keith kickin' some ass
Out in Douchenbach, Georgia everybody's raisin' they glass
Let's go to Douchenbach, Georgia
With Luke Bryan, Sam Hunt and the dudes
Get these Rockford Fosgates kickin'
We'll be crankin' up the Fiddy and Ja Rule
Between Hank Junior's boozin' and
FGL's Cruisin' and Juvy backin' that thang up
Out in Douchenbach, Georgia everybody's raisin' they cups
Jun 20, 2014
Wannabe Bro-Country Song
Good Ass Night
©2014 FTM Satires
It's been a bad week
I failed remedial math
My truck nuts broke and
My Reaper had a flat
At least it's Friday
My luck's gonna switch
Find me a party
And a bad country b**ch
And have a good ass night
Give the bonfire a light
Drink a beer yeah I might
Steal a kiss, have a fight
Son that's right
I'm gonna have a good ass night
I'm buzzed yeah ya heard
When I pull in the spot
Park my shit in the mud
Country swag on lock
Lookin' for a dime
Holla at deez hoes
Crank up some George Strait
Don't really like it tho'
But it's a good ass night
Give the bonfire a light
Drink a beer yeah I might
Steal a kiss, have a fight
Son that's right
I'm gonna have a good ass night
Bridge
Okay I've been lying, that really ain't me
I'm home playing Minecraft on my PS3
Got the radio up
And jealous as f***
Of the fellas in trucks wearing Ed Hardy tees
Havin' a good ass night
Givin' bonfires a light
Drinkin' beer wish I might
Steal a kiss, have a fight
Son that's right
Wish I could have a good ass night
Jun 17, 2014
Top 10 Rules for Writing a Hit Country Song in 2014
Inspired by this. (Link)
10. Check Billboard's charts archives and see
what was popular in pop and rap 10 years ago. Do that.
09. Be a famous person's offspring.
08. Write what you know, unless you know about anything other
than leaning on your truck in a pasture drinking fake moonshine and staring
at the rear ends of females dancing beside a bonfire to a song about leaning
on your truck in a pasture drinking fake moonshine and staring at the
rear ends of females dancing beside a bonfire.
07. When writing a song for a female artist, stop doing that.
06. Move to Nashville. Do you honestly think a record exec is going to come
to your house so you can give them sexual favors to get your foot in the door?
05. Be in a fraternity and when one of your fellow members
gets into the business, they'll hook you up, bro.
04. Go to a club where critically lauded Americana or roots rock artists perform
and listen to their earnest, heartfelt songs. Maybe even talk with them after the show and find out about their motives and inspirations so you can make sure to never do any of that stuff.
03. Kiss ass kiss ass kiss ass.
02. Don't write a country song.
01. Sit down for a few hours with your guitar and a bottle of whiskey and pour out your
emotions into a powerful song about hurt, love and the power of the human spirit.
Then throw that sumbitch in the trash and go write a truck song with 3 other dudes.
Jun 10, 2014
Jun 5, 2014
Jun 4, 2014
Jun 3, 2014
She Stopped Shakin' It Today
Based on this. Kinda NSFW.
"She Stopped Shakin' It Today"
(Parody of George Jones' "He Stopped Loving Her Today")
She said I'll shake it all your life
He told her I like your tan lines
As her butt would slowly grind
He sipped apple pie moonshine
He kept her picture on his dash
Of his lifted chromed-out truck
He loved him that country ass
Twerkin' to "Turn Down For What"
Got her name tatted on his leg
Barbed wire heart in red and blue
And every time she gave him head
He would whisper I love you
I saw him at the gym today
Slamming down weights, stinking of beer
Said his girl had gone away
First time he missed callin' me queer
She stopped shakin' it today
He texted her that she's a whore
And soon he'll cry and smoke a j
She stopped shakin' it today.
[Spoken:]
Ya' know she gave him one last phone call
And she was pissed off about the crabs
Said "we're through" and he punched the wall
Buried his face in his ball cap
[Sang:]
She stopped shakin' it today
He texted her that she's a whore
And soon he'll wreck his Chevrolet
She stopped shakin' it today.
May 27, 2014
Bro-Country Legends: AJ
This is a new series of posts created by the Cooper Brothers. That's as much explanation as you'll need.
May 12, 2014
Apr 25, 2014
The Bro-mericana Song (Lyrical Satirical)
The Bro-mericana Song
©2014 FTM Satire
Drove my El Camino
Down past the silo
Pulled into the party spot
Cracked a Blue Ribbon
Lit up a Spirit
Asked if anyone had some pot
This is my bro-mericana song
Break out the banjos, break out the bongs
Groom your beard and sing along
This is the bro-mericana song
We talk politics
Crank up some Deer Tick
And take ourselves real serious
The girls are all tattooed
And I defy any dude
To mention one's gluteus
This is my bro-mericana song
Break out the guitars, get our folk on
Groom your beard and sing along
This is the bro-mericana song
Bridge
No flat brims, no jacked trucks
Just pearl snaps and Levi Strauss
Careful where you park your Prius
Nobody here can pull you out
This is my bro-mericana song
Break out the dobro, break out the bongs
Groom your beard and sing along
This is the bro-mericana song
Apr 19, 2014
Apr 18, 2014
Top 10 Majors at Thomas Rhett University
10. Social Media Reputation Reclamation
9. Jacked-up Truck Maintenance
8. Keg-Stand Theory
7. Moneymaker Shaking 101
6. Effective Hazing Techniques and Strategies
5. Twistin’/Tearin’ Up Friday Night
4. Bro Fashion Marketing
3. Molly Popping
2. Transmitting Sexual Diseases
1. Ice Luge Engineering
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Apr 15, 2014
If You're Gonna Play in Georgia... (Alabama Parody)
"If You're Gonna Play In Georgia
(You Gotta Have A DJ In The Band)"
(Parody of Alabama's "If You're Gonna Play in Texas (You Gotta Have a Fiddle in the Band)"
If you're gonna play in Georgia, you gotta have a DJ in the band
That lead guitar's alright but son, not for a Leesburg man
So make that EQ bounce for "Country Girl" and let's all jam
If you're gonna play in Georgia, you gotta have a DJ in the band
I remember down in Macon we were playin' country songs
When a frat-boy in the back stood up and yelled, "Get Your Shine On!"
He said, "We hate what you're doin', we need the thump real strong,
Bro, that twang you're twangin' don't belong"
If you're gonna play in Georgia, you gotta have a DJ in the band
That lead guitar's alright but not for a Columbus man
So make that EQ bounce with some Colt Ford and let's all jam
If you're gonna play in Georgia, you gotta have a DJ in the band
So we flattened our cap brims and borrowed some sweet wallet chains
Them Georgians jumped and hollered when Jeff smiled and dropped the bass
You say y'all all wanna twerk it
You say ya wanna grind a ho'
Well, here's your douche-bag song before we go
If you're gonna play in Georgia, you gotta have a DJ in the band
That lead guitar's alright but son, not for a Smyrna man
So make them hotties bounce for "Bottoms Up" and let's all jam
If you're gonna play in Georgia, you gotta have a DJ in the band
If you're gonna play in Georgia, you gotta have a DJ in the band
That lead guitar's okay, but son, not for a Moultrie man
So make that EQ bounce for "Chillin' It" and let's all jam
If you're gonna play in Georgia, you gotta have a DJ in the band
Apr 11, 2014
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