Farce the Music: Carrie Underwood

Oct 11, 2016

The Current Poop of Country Music (October '16)

A ratings system based on poop emojis seems right in our wheelhouse, so here you go. This is the current Mediabase Top 20 country songs. Poop is bad. Not-Poop is good. The potential worst rating is 5 poop emojis. The potential best is 5 not-poop emojis. Here's Trailer's opinion of each song. Enjoy! (...?)

The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (0) overall which is a +5 improvement from our last chart a couple months ago. The best song is Miranda Lambert's "Vice." The worst, by a long shot, is Luke Bryan's "Move." Please read Country Perspective's Current Pulse for a different perspective, more class, and better insight.

Chart from Country Aircheck / Mediabase.

Jan 6, 2016

Country Singer/Professional Wrestler Equivalents

Florida-Georgia Line = New Age Outlaws

Douchey, popular due to hype more than talent, spray tans, wear underwear in public

Shooter Jennings = Spike Dudley

Scrappy, famous last name, under 5'8"

Carrie Underwood = Trish Stratus

Honest, talented, Vegan, ascended to the heights of her chosen profession, generally liked by all

Jamey Johnson = CM Punk

Outsider with insider ties, subversive, loved by the "smart" fans of his chosen profession, left the mainstream to pursue other options that seemingly will never come to fruition

Luke Bryan = John Cena

Seems like a nice guy, says dumb stuff in public, loved and hated in equal amounts, limited move set, A-lister approaching middle age, makes a living shaking ass

Brantley Gilbert = Buff Bagwell

Inexplicably popular, earrings, chains, facial hair, douchey, meathead

Chad Brock = Chad Brock

Wait, that's the same guy...

Jun 10, 2015

Top 10 Things to Expect for Tonight's CMT Awards

10. Social media going nuts on how good Carrie looks after having a baby/Social media

going nuts over people saying how good Carrie looks after having

a baby/Shaming/Anti-Shaming/Shame-Shaming

9. A joke about tomatoes within the first five minutes

8. David Spade as Joe Dirt being one of the most actually country things/persons on the show

7. Shitheads, douchebags, assholes, and other various and sundry vulgarities

6. The continued assumption that because 25 year olds have rap, EDM, rock, pop, and country on their phones (because certainly, people as old as me couldn't possibly have varied tastes and access to modern technology), they'd like to hear all these genres at the same time

5. The wildly entertaining spectacle of a Russian fellow pushing buttons on stage

4. Cross-promotion, cross-promotion, and more cross-promotion

3. Sam Hunt looking happy and confident because he truly

isn't the least country act on the show for a change

2. Awards handed out for something called "videos" - apparently these are recorded visual representations or performances of songs, and it seems CMT once showed these frequently

1. Two creepy bastards performing a song about boomboxes and Alabama

(and trucks, hotties, dirt roads, and drinking)

Nov 6, 2014

CMAs 2014: Snarky Twitter Wrap-Up

Good news: Kacey Musgraves won, Strait sang, Garth was there, Vince was honored, The Band Perry covered Glen Campbell pretty righteously (and there were a few other highlights).

Bad news: Luke Bryan won entertainer of the year, FGL won something or other...

Here's a somewhat-in-order but not really snarky Twitter recap of the night's proceedings.

Thanks for your help!

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