Showing posts with label The Band Perry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Band Perry. Show all posts
Jul 27, 2016
The Band Perry Comes Back!
Labels:
Honest Ads,
radio promo ads,
Reginald Spears,
Satire,
The Band Perry
Feb 17, 2016
Crud Report Country Headlines 2-16: Stapleton, Hunt, Aldean, Bobby Bones, etc.
Jan 14, 2016
Country TwitterWINs: January '16
Where would they be if not famous: Brantley Gilbert, living in a trailer listening to Avenged Sevenfold playing slow pitch softball....
— Nick Tschida (@Cheets3) July 19, 2015
Shit. Spent two hours in studio laying down badass vocal for Zucchini Tarts before realizing I'd grabbed cookbook instead of lyric sheet.
— Fake Martina McBride (@DrunkenMartina) January 6, 2016
So is it the talk-singing, the skinny pants, or the high tops that makes Sam Hunt country?
— Maycee Holden (@MayceeHolden) December 16, 2015
it seems having chops isn't as important as having a lighted box to stand on while playing a 80's hair metal lead on a pretend country song.
— Ray Wylie Hubbard (@raywylie) January 8, 2016
#AgPowerBallDreams buy Luke Bryan some man pants and a can of dip to stain his teeth
— beckm1 (@beckm1) January 10, 2016
WTF is this new "country" song singing about a girl in a SnapBack? Country music sucks anymore.
— Amber Gobrogge (@ambergobrogge) January 12, 2016
The gym I went to today in Germany was more enjoyable than I'd expected. pic.twitter.com/3JXyggTJpT
— Jason Isbell (@JasonIsbell) January 13, 2016
The Band Perry thinking pop fans want suburban soccer mom music dolled up with EDM beats and lasers is such a glaring miscalculation.
— Grady Smith (@gradywsmith) December 11, 2015
The one constant in modern country music is an intense hatred of this nation's fine interstate highway system.
— Todd Holloman (@todd_holloman) January 8, 2016
A bro country song is basically an extended Nelly hook but about trucks, cute girls in cutoff jorts, hard work, & beer. I got this.
— TBG3000 (@ThatBoysGood) January 13, 2016
Remember when country music was written by Cowboys instead of spoiled frat boys?
— Cal Ellis (@Snowmice) December 29, 2015
Chris Stapleton's big toe is more country that Sam Hunt in a step side Chevy Pickup
— mac norton (@mac_norton) December 15, 2015
Adding me on FB then immediately inviting me to like your shitty country band’s page. “Big things on the horizon.”
#stuffwhitepeoplelike
— Charlie Stout (@charliestout) January 12, 2016
In 2016 resolve to listen to more singers whose jeans weren't picked out for them.
— Reginald Spears (@ReginaldSpears) December 30, 2015
Jan 13, 2016
Jan 12, 2016
The Band Perry Digging Deeper
Labels:
memes,
Satire,
The Band Perry,
YouTube Junk
Dec 18, 2015
Ten Worst Country Songs of 2015
First off, I need to address the elephant in the room. There are no Sam Hunt songs on this list. I didn't exclude him because he isn't country (he isn't) or because he isn't the worst thing that happened to country radio in 2015 (he was). I just found all 10 of these songs to be far more a tax on my nerves than anything Hunt released in 2015. He still sucks, don't get me wrong, but here are truly the 10 worst country songs of 2015!
1. The Band Perry - Live Forever
The Band Perry plays country music, or at least that's what their Twitter bio read in 2013. Fast forward to 2015, past a couple hits and several underperforming singles and TBP completely reinvented themselves as a grating pop band with this bit of pointless fluff. Nonsensical lyrics, an overpowering shade of yellow, and absolutely no ties whatsoever to the genre in which they so shittily released this rancid pile of vomit. Evolution schmevolution, this is full on pop, and not even good pop. Embarrassing. A torpedo to a modestly promising career if ever there was one. There's talk of them "going pop" like Taylor Swift did, but Taylor had name recognition and good songs. Maybe the Perry brood should go into hair-styling.
2. Luke Bryan - Kick the Dust Up
The butt of endless jokes and memes here at FTM, this song had the nearly middle-aged Mr. Bryan tossing out slang, partying with the youngs, and inviting them under the bridge as long as they left their cell phones at the truck and didn't tell anyone. Wait, what? Nearly as bad as "That's My Kind of Night," one of the worst country songs ever released.
3. Florida-Georgia Line - Sun Daze
Released in 2014, puked …err peaked in 2015. Maybe that's cheating a little, but this song is bad enough to make "worst of" lists in multiple years. Our heroic lead singer, in this classy gem, refers to his penis as an umbrella and his paramour's vagina as a drink in which he plans to insert his tiny decorative umbrella whilst she perches uncomfortably upon the sink, hoping not to be grinded into the dirty dishes by the stoned Tyler Hubbard. Hot garbage. Not even the catchy kind.
4. Zac Brown Band - Beautiful Drug
Enough's been said about this lame-ass EDM song to fill a book the size of Benedict Arnold's biography. Can one song ruin the legacy of a heretofore mostly respected artist? Maybe not, but this is at least enough to leave a smelly stain and cause a great deal of worry about this talented band's future.
5. Old Dominion - Break Up With Him
This creepy bastard wants you to break up with your boyfriend, for whom you've confessed no ill will towards, and come over to have sex with him. When I used to write lyrics, one of the oft-repeated rules was to back up your message. In this song, they needed to prove the current boyfriend actually deserves to be broken up with to make the singer more sympathetic. They did nothing of the sort, coming off as an Axe-sprayed, too-tight-tshirt-wearing douchebag just looking for a little play, not caring about the repercussions on other people's lives. Just a pile of crap.
6. Cole Swindell - Let Me See Ya Girl
This song proved bro-country in its purest form hadn't left us in 2015. In fact, it went to #1 on the charts with this craptastic half-written rehash of everything Florida-Georgia Line has wet dreams about. Drive truck with hottie, find place to party. Come up with new and exciting figures of speech to describe the sexy movements of the aforementioned hottie. Hey, I know!... "like wind moves cotton?" Really?
7. Chase Rice - Gonna Wanna Tonight
Insipid. Every time I went in Dollar General this year, there was a 1/3 chance this song was playing over the intercom. I made my visits quick.
8. Haley Georgia - Ridiculous
This song would be ranked higher if it had had any impact whatsoever upon the charts or "country music" culture, but it didn't… thankfully. This tune was basically an excuse for a girl to sing the word "dick" over and over without getting censored for it. True ear torture.
9. Jason Aldean - Gonna Know We Were Here
Jason Aldean doesn't care anymore and he doesn't even care if you know it. In the point of his album era when Aldean usually releases a song that seems way too good for an a-hole of his calibre, Jason this time chose to put out one of his least distinctive and worst singles of his career.
10. Danielle Bradbery - Friend Zone
Just listen to this shit.
Nov 24, 2015
The Band Perry: A Timeline
Labels:
Live Forever,
memes,
Satire,
The Band Perry
Nov 20, 2015
Learn Vocabulary with FTM 2
With this helpful guide, you can learn some new words today
that you can pepper into conversations to make people think your more smarter!*
Photo examples are provided to broaden your understanding of the selected words.
Definitions from Google, Dictionary.com, Merriam-Webster, and Urban Dictionary.
*yeah, I know thats ain't right
Oct 23, 2015
This Is Fine
Labels:
Beautiful Drug,
bro country,
Country Radio,
Dan + Shay,
Sam Hunt,
Satire,
The Band Perry,
Thomas Rhett
Sep 3, 2015
Perry vs. Paycheck
Labels:
Johnny Paycheck,
Live Forever,
memes,
Satire,
The Band Perry
Aug 28, 2015
A Public Service Announcement from The Band Perry
Labels:
Fake ads,
parody ads,
Satire,
The Band Perry
Aug 18, 2015
The Band Perry Picks the Wrong Fight
Labels:
Billy Joe Shaver,
Live Forever,
memes,
The Band Perry
Aug 17, 2015
Parody Album Covers: The Band Perry, Brent Best, Rich O'Toole
Aug 6, 2015
The Band Perry Returns with a New Member?
Labels:
parody,
radio promo ads,
Satire,
Sesame Street,
The Band Perry
Dec 18, 2014
New Video: The Band Perry - Gentle on My Mind
Labels:
Glen Campbell,
New Videos,
The Band Perry
Nov 6, 2014
The Band Perry Covers Glen Campbell (CMAs)
Labels:
CMAs,
Glen Campbell,
The Band Perry,
YouTube Gems
CMAs 2014: Snarky Twitter Wrap-Up
Good news: Kacey Musgraves won, Strait sang, Garth was there, Vince was honored, The Band Perry covered Glen Campbell pretty righteously (and there were a few other highlights).
Bad news: Luke Bryan won entertainer of the year, FGL won something or other...
Here's a somewhat-in-order but not really snarky Twitter recap of the night's proceedings.
Thanks for your help!
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