Sep 18, 2022
Sep 17, 2022
Sep 16, 2022
California to Ban Country Songs about Gas Powered Trucks by 2024
The entertainment industry (including music) is responsible for more than 7% of all of California’s carbon pollution, all while jacked-up, coal rolling, nut-swinging pickup trucks continue to spew toxicity into the atmosphere.
“We simply can’t have all these catchy, vibe-filled, vaguely country songs glorifying using these beasts for ‘fun’ when they are literally responsible for Donald Trump, I mean, pollution.” said Newsom in a prepared statement for the press. “Therefore, we are directing record labels not to promote songs about feet on a dashboard, or having CIS white sex under the stars in a truck bed, or mudding in a pasture with a beer in the cupholder without letting the listener know that the vehicle is an EV.”
He went on to lament the irresponsibility of Nashville in idolizing such vehicular monstrosities. “I listened to Cali Country Y102 today for an hour, and literally every song had a truck in it,” Newsom continued. “Just think of the good we could do if all 15 of those songs replaced ‘F-150’ or ‘Silverado’ with ‘Lightning’ or ‘Endurance;’ every mullet-headed white boy in community college would suddenly think it was cool that Morgan Wallen got busy in a Rivian, or whatever.”
Free speech advocates have threatened legal action following the executive order. “While we also cringe at songs with dudes talk-singing in a southern accent about cruising for women in their squatted 70,000 dollar pickup trucks their dad bought them, this is certainly unconstitutional grounds the governor is walking on,” said Jenni Perkins, a spokesperson for the ACLU. “We will be strange bedfellows with the republican bros for once, it appears. Yee Yee!, or whatever they say.”
California will be leading the nation in this effort, in hopes of removing garbage from both the environment and the airwaves.
At press time, many conservative California country fans agreed with the order, but they’d be damned before they ever admitted it.
Sep 15, 2022
I Think You Should Leave Country Reaction Gifs
Toby Keith asking who started bro-country
When a hit 'country' song has the lyrics
Ooh ooh ooh, she likes it when I
Ooh ooh ooh, I love it when we
When you both want the last large classic arrowhead Tyler Childers t-shirt at the merch booth
Mr. Farce, do you in fact own a couple of Rascal Flatts CDs?
When the restaurant is playing pop country
If you can't name at least 300 Willie Nelson songs
"Hey man, Kane Brown's new album is actually pretty good"
When somebody wearing a Walker Hayes shirt says they love country music
Sep 14, 2022
Alabama Marijuana Songs
Teddy Gentry got arrested for possession recently,
so here are some Alabama songs if they were about pot.
You’ve Got the Kush
My Sight is Blurry (And I Know Why)
Cheeba Seats
HIIIIIGH Cotton
Roll On (Blazed Out Feelin’)
Hot Box in My Mind
40 Dollar Sack (Or a Fiddy)
High Faded High
Feels So Right (no change)
Dopesick Fever
Dixieland Delight (no change)
If You’re Gonna Blaze in Texas (You Better Have Agent 420 in the Van)
Tennessee Jibber
Katy Brought My Sitar Back Today
Mountain Zooted
Thistlehair the Crispy Bear
Puffin’, Passin’ on the Boulevard
Give Me One More Hit
Hometown Blunt Gooned
Bong of the South
Dankest Among Us
Pass it On Down (no change)
Sep 13, 2022
Sorry, I Don't Really Mean It
Some of you already thought this. A few more jumped on the bandwagon after a recent Instagram song she posted. I'm undecided (and enjoy most of her songs regardless of the genre) but always willing to play devil's advocate.
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