Jul 21, 2021
Untrue Facts: Merle, Reba, Morgan Wallen, Hank Jr.
Jul 20, 2021
More Elderly Country Songs
Same Kind of Senile as Me
Shawl of Many Colors
(I Don’t) Remember When
Hottie With a Back Bowed
Nothing on But Some Bengay
A Little Less Talk and a Lot More Nappin’
Nursing Home Badonkadonk
Jun 9, 2021
Know the Difference!!
Jun 7, 2021
More Monday Memes: Luke Bryan, Alan Jackson, Cody Jinks
Jun 5, 2021
Saturday Night Music / Alan Jackson / "Summertime Blues" (Live)
Jun 4, 2021
Numbers Numbers Numbers
Jun 1, 2021
Tuesday Morning Memes: Waylon Jennings, Blake Shelton, Alan Jackson
May 26, 2021
Sorry Alan
May 17, 2021
More Monday Memes: Alan Jackson, Vern Gosdin
May 11, 2021
Oh No, Walker Hayes is Back
Apr 20, 2021
Tuesday Morning Memes: Brian Kelley, Luke Bryan, Alan Jackson
Apr 8, 2021
Wrasslin' Country Reaction Gifs #49 XL Edition
It's Wrestlemania week, so here's an extra large edition of country reaction gifs.
If your friend doesn’t like Arlo McKinley
When I see FGL has yet another #1 song
When I see Alan Jackson’s new album has 21 songs
“Country music is an amalgamation of all America’s styles of music”
When somebody tries to tell me Chris Gaines and Garth Brooks are the same person
If I went to a pop-country music festival, I’d leave like this
Hey, let’s listen to my new Luke Bryan deluxe edition
When you walk in the bar in a good mood and they’re playing Parmalee
Niko Moon doesn’t like sad songs. Well f*** him, I do
To the hard rock bottom of your heart
Apr 7, 2021
Alan Jackson's Songwriting Inspiration
Apr 5, 2021
Still More Monday Memes: Alan Jackson, Niko Moon, David Allan Coe
Mar 31, 2021
Country Music Was Better in the 90s (Sam Hunt Parody)
(Parody of Sam Hunt's "Breaking Up Was Easy in the 90s")
Man, oh man, oh man
Bartender looked at me like, "I'd love to turn that jukebox down"
Someone was playing that modern sound
Something about a damn cell phone
Singin' with a twang but it's just pretend
Funny how it's two times as boring and half as witty
Why did someone pay money for a song this shitty?
The singer must have a nice face
Cause he can't sing worth a damn without the studio tricks and the auto-tune
But hey, what you gon' do?
Chorus
I'm sick of hearin' those snap beats, they just make me groan
Country's more than just some handsome cheekbones
They call it country music but that just reminds me
Country music was better in the '90s
I miss the steel guitar, truth and chords of three
Tired of hearin' pickup trucks and hey baby
Sam and Kane and Luke and them can kiss my hiney
Cause, country music was better in the '90s
Back then we listened to "Dumas Walker" and "Down at the Twist and Shout"
And "Chattahoochee," and "He Ain't Worth Missing" and "Love Lessons"
Sometimes the lyrics were fun and sometimes they were deep
But these days "vibe" is the only thing
And they wouldn't have a fiddle or steel guitar playin'
Or sing about some grown-up shit
Yeah I get sick of it all, I miss real drawling
Miss real country women and men
Chorus
I'm sick of hearin' those snap beats, they just make me groan
Country's more than a TikTok on your phone
They call it country music but that just reminds me
Country music was better in the '90s
I miss the steel guitar, truth and chords of three
Tired of hearin' pickup trucks and hey baby
Florida-Georgia Line and them can kiss my hiney
Cause, country music was better in the '90s
Bridge
Modern country ain't got modern hearts breaking
It's just a product, money for the taking
And I 'bout had enough hearing them living a country lie
I'm sick of hearin' those snap beats, they just make me groan
Country's more than just some handsome cheekbones
They call it country music but that just reminds me
Country music was better in the '90s
I miss the steel guitar, truth and chords of three
Tired of hearin' pickup trucks and hey baby
Thomas and Dustin and them can kiss my hiney
Cause, country music was better in the '90s
Mar 19, 2021
Alan Jackson to Release Album of Cringey Novelty Songs
There’s news on the Alan Jackson front. The long, tall country legend, who hasn’t released a full album since 2015’s Angels and Alcohol today announced Crazy as a Pet Coon, an album of novelty songs to be dropped in May.
“We like to put a fun ‘un on every album, you know.” said Jackson, in the PR blast. “Well, we had about 50 of them that never made the cut for one reason or another, so I decided to collect the best and put ‘em out.” He went on: “If this one does well, we’ll put out another volume that’ll have songs about rhubarb pie, waiting in the DMV, and cutting your toenails on the bed.”
Jackson’s more light-hearted songs of the past have touched on everything from sandwich meat to sandals, drawing guffaws for both humor and, let’s face it, pure inelegance. Kids today might even call them “cringe.” His uneasy relationship with technology has also been a consistent topic, in songs such as “www.memory” and “I Still Like Bologna.”
This collection looks to serve up an artery-clogging main course of the same kind of cheese. The title track, a southern colloquialism come to life, ponders life with a wild woman who’s as “cute as she is crazy.” “Don’t Let the Butterbean Juice Run on My Biscuit” pretty much gives the story away in its name, documenting a failing relationship in which each partner focuses on the minor details rather than work on the real issues.
The album leads off with "I Got Redbugs," a big fear of every southern youngun’ who has taken a leak in the great outdoors. Jackson gets surprisingly crude in this one, singing of “parasites on muh pecker” and body parts “swole up like maters.” It certainly brings the laughter, if only in a shocked “oh my God, why did he sing about that and in that particular manner?” kind of way.
We also get a sequel to “I Don’t Even Know Your Name” on the album, titled, obviously, “I Still Don’t Even Know Your Name.” Then there's “I’ve Got a Hemi,” which we didn’t hear, but is clearly a sexual metaphor about pickup trucks.
Crazy as a Pet Coon is out May 14, and the full track list is below.
1. I Got Redbugs
2. Vienna Sausage Blues
3. I Still Don’t Even Know Your Name
(Sequel to “I Don’t Even Know Your Name”)
4. iPhone uPhone wePhone
5. Meat and Three
6. Don’t Let the Butterbean Juice Run on My Biscuit
7. She Left Me on Read
8. I’ve Got a Hemi
9. Warshcloth
10. Page Me a Beer
11. Crazy as a Pet Coon