Farce the Music: Dustin Lynch

Showing posts with label Dustin Lynch. Show all posts

Jan 25, 2019

Happy Gilmore Country Reaction Gifs

When an old man says the country music of his day was boring and today's is fun and catchy

When your friend who likes Dustin Lynch asks you for a beer

What mainstream country execs think of all of us who complain about the crap they release

Still more country than Mitchell Tenpenny

♫ ♬ Daddy's hands... were hard as steel when I'd done wrong ♫ ♬

When somebody at the game insults your Willie Nelson t-shirt

Are you more a fan of Restless Heart or Exile?

When you hear Clay Walker's new album

Jan 23, 2019

Jan 18, 2019

Community: Country Reaction Gifs

If somebody sings that "Bitches" song around me...

When one of Farce the Music's jokes gets a negative reaction

If you're thinking of attending a Dustin Lynch concert

American Aquarium songs:

When "Baby Likes to Rock It" by The Tractors comes on

If somebody says country music is better because there's not as much twang nowadays

Why don't you wear Luke Bryan skinny jeans?

"Country radio doesn't play women because they just aren't as good as the men"

When your favorite country newsletter has a feature on Old Dominion

Jan 17, 2019

Jan 16, 2019

The Next Smash for Jordan Lynch or Mitchell Davis or Whoever

If You Say I'm Not Country

I like sugar in my unsweet tea

And my Texas chili full of beans

And I'll be on your ass like jeans

If you say I'm not country

I like to hunt a little snipe

And eat honeysuckle when it's ripe

And mister I might pull a knife

If you say I'm not country

Cause I'm from where they sing about

in songs from Kenny and Tim

Down there on that ol' rural route

Where I have definitely been

Church and mama and all that stuff

And girls sweet as Georgia plums

If you say I'm not, I'll call your bluff

I'm as country as they come

I love to crank those old outlaw songs

Turn up the Brantley and sing along

I'll throw hands and prove you wrong

If you say I'm not country

Cause I love me a Grizzly pouch

There's red on my neck skin

From working tater fields down south

Where I have definitely been

Shine and biscuits and all that stuff

And girls sweet as Georgia plums

If you say I'm not, I might get rough

I'm as country as they come

Bridge

You can say I use snap beats

You can say I'm auto-tuned

But you can't say I'm not country

Just look at my Aldean tattoo

Yeah I'm from where they sing about

in songs from Kenny and Tim

Down there on that ol' rural route

Where I have definitely been

Church and mama and all that stuff

And girls sweet as Georgia plums

If you say I'm not, I'll call your bluff

I'm as country as they come

Jan 10, 2019

What Kind of Songs Does Johnny Love?

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country: January '19

A poop emoji is negative; a strike-thru is positive.

The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-16) overall which is a 2 point drop from last September (the previous time we did this chart). The best song on the chart is Chris Stapleton's "Millionaire." The worst is Mitchell Tenpenny's "Drunk Me" followed closely by Dustin Lynch's "Good Girl." There is 1 solo woman on the charts. In fact, there's only 1 woman in the entire top 20.

Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.

Dec 31, 2018

The Last TwitterWINs of 2018

Dec 18, 2018

10 Worst "Country" Songs of 2018

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1. Walker Hayes - 90s Country

Walker seems like a nice guy. He has kind eyes. I don't wanna harp on the guy, but as the youths of 2018 said "this ain't it." Most artists I don't care for show me at least one trait that makes me think they in some way deserve the success they've achieved. With Walker I'm not sure - he's nice? This song isn't nice. It barely qualifies as a song. It's certainly not country and bears no resemblance whatsoever to the 90s country songs it calls out, other than the fact that it uses the same words of the English language. This is bad. Embarrassingly bad. Somebody should hire Walker into marketing or management or artist development or something, because singing/songwriting doesn't seem to be his thing, and he seems like a swell fellow.

2. AJ McLean - Back Porch Bottle Service

Just stop. You're still making plenty off Backstreet Boys tours and their catalog of music, so leave the country music to the …uh, dudes who talk-sing about 'girls' over snap beats? Forget that part. Just know that this is subpar. Extremely subpar.

3. Keith Urban - Gemini

We (those of us who like actual pop-country that has a firm grip on the roots of country) lost Keith a long time ago and he keeps journeying farther into the ether with garbage like this. Stupid ass lyrics, soulless music ...and I'm just done with Nicole Kidman's husband.

4. Parmalee - Hotdamalama

No trash talking is needed here.

5. Mitchell Tenpenny - Bitches

This guy sucks. I can't stand Kane Brown, but at least Kane's music occasionally puts on some country window dressing. Mitch here is pure pop music, or R&B lite, to be more exact. He sings like John Mayer with strep throat. Oh yeah, and he saw fit to foist a song about 'bitches' into the "country" world. Unfortunately for the world, it looks like 10cent is gonna be here for a while.

6. Dustin Lynch - Good Girl

If I'm curiously listening to mainstream country radio (which is rare nowadays), as soon as I hear Dustin's voice, I'm out, and this song's the biggest offender. Pointless drivel. Not even gonna get into his missed potential - that's all in the past. Lynch is pop music for teenage girls who change the station from "Mo Bamba" when their dad walks into their room to make sure they're doing homework.

7. Mitchell Tenpenny - Drunk Me

See #5 but this one was a hit single. This guy is the worst.

8. Dylan Scott - Hooked

He might look 39, but he's 29 and despite the fact that he's been trying at country radio for 4 years now, somebody saw fit to vote him one of the New Faces for next year's CRS conference. Nothing to see here. Just cookie cutter BS from a tall dude who gets comments on YouTube like "hes ssooooosssoooo hotttt."

9. Sam Hunt - Downtown's Dead

I don't care for Sam's music, but at least most of his previous songs had something of a catchy melody. This is ear torture. I'd rank it higher (lower?) but it was such a flop, Sam stayed on hiatus. That's a nice silver lining and drops this tune down the rankings.