Showing posts with label Sturgill Simpson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sturgill Simpson. Show all posts
Jan 12, 2018
Dec 21, 2017
"Stick to Music" Guy to Give Mainstream Country Another Shot
32-year-old music fan Jason Varton of Springfield, Ill reports that he plans to give mainstream country another shot. After years of trashing popular artists like Florida-Georgia Line in lieu of Americana music, the growing outspoken political nature of the latter has begun to push him away.
"Man, I can't stand Luke Bryan but at least he doesn't constantly spout off about health care on Twitter or write songs trying to make me feel bad," said Varton. "Maybe I need to give that guy another shot."
"I mean, his jeans are stupid and why the hell is he booty dancing at a country show?" he continued. "But he never seems to have a solitary opinion about tax cuts, or net neutrality, or social justice, or anything really ...and that's what I'm looking for in a musician."
Varton, a former fan of artists like Jason Isbell, Margo Price, and Sturgill Simpson has grown increasingly uncomfortable with those singers' recent public stances in their music and on social media about issues facing American citizens. He wishes they'd focus on putting out music that speaks from their hearts, but in no way explores anything besides love, farming, loneliness, drinking, or other rural pursuits.
"Sam Hunt, what the f**k is he even doing? I mean, is it rap, is he trying to be Jason Mraz? I don't even know, but I do know that he wouldn't put out a song about income inequality!" smiled Varton.
At press time, Jason planned to listen to mainstream country radio 10 minutes a day to build up his resistance and train his gag reflex.
Dec 14, 2017
Little Known Facts: Christmas 2017 Edition
Little Known Facts: Christmas 2017 Edition
Little Known Facts: Christmas 2017 Edition
Little Known Facts: Christmas 2017 Edition
If Cole Swindell ran outside naked in a snowstorm, he'd be invisible
Luke Bryan never hangs his stockings by the fireplace because
he’d feel silly wearing his garter belt without them
On the twelfth day of Christmas, Brantley Gilbert realized he couldn’t count that high
Neal McCoy's "Take a Knee, My Ass (I Won't Take a Knee)" was originally about
Game of Thrones' Jon Snow and was titled "Bend the Knee, My Arse (I Shan't Bend the Knee)"
If Sturgill Simpson doesn’t do a Farce The Music
interview we will start a rumor he punched Santa
There is a 100% chance Kenny Chesney will be a fan
of this year's college football playoff champion
The previous fact will be recycled annually for eternity
Justin Moore has lost 75% of his fame since Trailer stopped photoshopping him
on shelves around Christmas (Editor's note: or Scotty McCreery, whichever)
Sturgill Simpson recently punched Santa at a mall. More details to come.
All pictures of Shooter Jennings on a shelf are not Photoshopped
Gary Levox’s New Year’s resolution is to be less awkward in photos
The 2017 Time Magazine Person of the Year is every woman
that has ever recorded ‘Baby it’s Cold Outside’
David Lee Murphy has a song on the country chart. No really, I’m serious about that one.
Asking for more women on country radio and getting Bebe Rexha is like
asking for a Washington outsider to be president and getting... never mind
Every time "Humble and Kind" plays on the radio, Spade Cooley rolls in his grave
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All but 3 of these by Jeremy Harris
Dec 7, 2017
Nov 30, 2017
South Park: Country Reaction Gifs
Bebe Rexha is on country radio?
I give that two thumbs up! Well, not thumbs...
When your girlfriend hands you Sam Hunt tickets
for an early Christmas present
"Kids don't want to hear that old whiney, twangy
country music any more"
When Thomas Rhett's pitch correction software
goes down during a concert
Chef writes the latest bro-pop country hit
If a herd of water buffalo tragically trampled Mr. Chesney
The lyrics for Sturgill Simpson's new song
When you're listening to Tyler Childers
(and you splatter ice cream everywhere?)
The Luke Bryan business plan
Nov 9, 2017
Oct 18, 2017
Funny Stuff I Stole: Kenny Chesney, Sturgill Simpson...
The first one's obviously from Larry Fulford. The Sturgill/Prine meme is by Ben Davis Jr.... we think.
Sep 22, 2017
Sep 14, 2017
Friday (The Movie) Country Reaction Gifs
When an attractive female walks by
...wearing a vintage Waylon t-shirt
"You know, Thomas Rhett's album is actually
pretty good if you don't expect it to be country"
When you see that Kane Brown has a top ten hit...
meaning that he'll be sticking around for a while.
If there was a fight between any woman on earth
and Jason Aldean
"I got an extra ticket to Chase Rice; wanna go?"
When the post office loses your order
of all Sturgill's albums on vinyl
When somebody says you hit like a girl
and you say "Yeah, Loretta Lynn"
When you're at a folk festival in Colorado
and somebody asks if you're enjoying yourself
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