Zac Brown is a Pathetic Embarrassment

Luke Bryan Says Zac Brown's "God Given" Worst Song Ever

Another day, another country artist coming out against the current direction of country music. The latest is superstar Luke Bryan, who not only had some unkind words about the state of country music, but specifically set Zac Brown’s song “God Given” in his crosshairs—a song from the Zac Brown Band's forthcoming album and a rumored single:

"I love Zac Brown and he’s had some great songs, but this new song is the worst song I’ve ever heard. I know Zac, he’s a friend. ‘God Given’ is one of the worst songs I’ve ever heard. I see it being commercially successful, in what is called country music these days, but I also feel like that the people deserve something better than that. Country fans and country listeners deserve to have something better than that, a song that really has something to say, something that makes you feel something. Good music makes you feel something. When songs make me wanna throw up, it makes me ashamed to even be in the same genre as those songs. My how the tables have turned."

Zac Brown and “God Given” came up in the context of Luke Bryan complaining about the current trends dominating country radio right now.

"If I hear one more snap beat or bass drop in a country song, I’m gonna throw up. There’s songs out there on the radio right now that make me be ashamed to be even in the same format as some other artists. And actually, I think Zac Brown probably wrote this one himself. Doesn't he have people around him to tell him no? I mean, ZBB is a multi-million dollar corporation and he's putting the livelihood of all 18 band members on the line by chasing trends and making a fool of himself."

The song, which the Zac Brown Band has been performing recently on their "The Owl" tour is almost entirely rapped and features the lyrics:

Gucci bags, stacks on stacks,

Diamonds fill up the champagne glass

Luke Bryan, who has also been criticized for being a part of the "bro country" trend has recently gone back toward relatively neo-traditional pop country. Asked his thoughts on the reason for Zac Brown's musical experimentation, Bryan told us: "It's been downhill since that hotel room; I'm just saying."

*parts of this fake news piece adapted from Saving Country Music's original ZBB/Luke Bryan story*

Explaining Old Dominion and Zac Brown Band

One Guy Just Pretending to Be in Zac Brown Band

by Trailer - Originally posted on Country California, Wednesday, November 03, 2010 

The Zac Brown Band has added a new member to its already large roster, unbeknownst to Zac Brown. 

FNN has learned that "rhythm guitarist" Jesse Carlsworth of Pittsburgh has been touring with the hit country group of his own accord since their performance in his city in July. He is not listed on the ZBB website or the CD booklet for their newest release You Get What You Give, but has found his way onto a couple of concert t-shirts and promo shots. 

At the band's recent show in Charlotte, NC, Carlsworth appeared onstage, heavy with facial growth and clad in a plaid shirt and torn jeans. Nothing seemed askew, as he shared between-song banter with other members and pretended, adequately enough, to play rhythm guitar throughout the 18 song set. During the coda of the final song, Zac Brown recognized all the band members, but looked perplexed when he came to Jesse, saying "and there's uh, ol' Zeke on second rhythm guitar." 

A call to management has gone unreturned, but attendees from other recent concerts have reported similar stories. "I didn't think nothin' about it, he was singing harmony just fine, I think," said Jeanie Luke of Phoenix. "You mean he ain't really in the band? I got him to sign my left boobie in the parking lot after the show!" 

For its part, the band has welcomed Jesse with open arms, despite confusion regarding the status of his employment. "I just figured Zac signed him," said drummer Chris Fryar, "and I don't guess Zac has paid him much mind and I haven't had time to ask because Zac's always cooking before and after shows." 

The Zac Brown Band, Jesse Carlsworth in tow, hit Indiana, Missouri and Kansas through the weekend. 

Zac Brown Unveils New Rap Persona "Lil Beanie"

Zac Brown's seemingly insatiable desire to record and release music in every existing genre took its next logical step this week as he unveiled yet another side project, the mumble rap artist Lil Beanie. Signed to Zac's own Southern Ground label, Beanie (Brown himself, with fake face tattoos and a wig) is currently prepping the release of his debut single "Marching Powder." 

The song, a not even slightly veiled ode to selling copious amounts of cocaine, is a mid-tempo track that bounces along on a slick electronic beat with Beanie's sparse lyrics peppered across the composition. The chorus simply repeats "marchin' powda" 25 times, but Lil assures us this is how hip-hop is done nowadays. 

Beanie's first album, Mean Streetz of Lumpkin, is set to drop in late summer, with opening dates on the Zac Brown tour to support the record. 

"Yo, I'm just so excited to get this opportunity to open for Zac,  ya heard?" stated Mr. Beanie. "It gone be lit and I'mma give 'em my 100 every night."

Brown's other side project, Sir Rosevelt, will also play each of the ZBB dates. That act's single "Something Bout You" is going for adds at country radio despite clearly being not a country song. Whether Beanie's music will be released to country radio is "up in the air" (meaning: yes, it definitely will). 

At press time, Zac Brown had announced auditions for yet another another side project, the death metal outfit Deérguts.

Zac Brown is a Pariah Again

A couple years ago, Zac Brown Band put out the Jeckyl & Hyde album that was all over the map, genre-wise. I didn't mind that until they released the EDM song "Beautiful Drug" to country radio. We thoroughly roasted them over that terrible song. Soon came news that Zac had an EDM side-project, Sir Rosevelt, for all his electronic music... and last year, ZBB released the almost completely country album Welcome Home, which was pretty well-received. I forgave but didn't forget.

Now comes word that Sir Rosevelt is releasing one of their EDM songs, "Something 'Bout You," to country radio. Welp, that's that. I'm done. Fool me once...

New Video: Zac Brown Band "Roots"

May the Farce Be With You

New Country Parody Album Covers: Ray Wylie, ZBB, Conway, etc.

Get a Brain! Morans

Most Added Poop at Country Radio

The "most added" singles list every week highlights new and rising songs that country radio listeners will hear for weeks (and sometimes months or years) to come. Similar to our "Current Poop of Country Radio," here's Trailer's ratings for this week's add leaders. Data from Country Aircheck. Poop from us. (Poop emoji=bad, Anti-poop emoji=good)

The rating for this first week of our list is scary bad. I weep for the future. The score is -20. My favorite tune on this list is Zac Brown's new "My Old Man," which is a subtle and welcome return to ZBB's signature sound. My least favorite song is Sam Hunt's "Body Like a Back Road," but it has serious competition for biggest turd. This was easily one of my most unpleasant listening experiences in nearly 9 years of running Farce the Music. I thought radio was supposed to be getting better, but if this is any sign, they're at the bottom and digging deeper.

Latest Promo Photos: Stapleton, Zac Brown Band, Kelsea Ballerini, etc.

These don't seem right. I'm just posting what PR sends me...








(These were inspired by the hilarious Millions of Dead Posers.)

Honest Tweets 3: Aldean, McBride, Zac Brown Band, etc.

Drugs Are Bad, Mkay?

Nashville is on Drugs

The Hatin' Rankings Return!

*The hatin' is not personal in most instances. 

Really Dumb Music Reviews: Jan. '16

These are all real reviews from a couple of popular sites for purchasing music.

Luke Bryan

Sturgill Simpson - Metamodern Sounds in Country Music

Sam Hunt - Montevallo

Kacey Musgraves

Adele - 25

Zac Brown Band - Jeckyl & Hyde

Chris Stapleton - Traveller

Ten Worst Country Songs of 2015

First off, I need to address the elephant in the room. There are no Sam Hunt songs on this list. I didn't exclude him because he isn't country (he isn't) or because he isn't the worst thing that happened to country radio in 2015 (he was). I just found all 10 of these songs to be far more a tax on my nerves than anything Hunt released in 2015. He still sucks, don't get me wrong, but here are truly the 10 worst country songs of 2015!

1. The Band Perry - Live Forever

The Band Perry plays country music, or at least that's what their Twitter bio read in 2013. Fast forward to 2015, past a couple hits and several underperforming singles and TBP completely reinvented themselves as a grating pop band with this bit of pointless fluff. Nonsensical lyrics, an overpowering shade of yellow, and absolutely no ties whatsoever to the genre in which they so shittily released this rancid pile of vomit. Evolution schmevolution, this is full on pop, and not even good pop. Embarrassing. A torpedo to a modestly promising career if ever there was one. There's talk of them "going pop" like Taylor Swift did, but Taylor had name recognition and good songs. Maybe the Perry brood should go into hair-styling.

2. Luke Bryan - Kick the Dust Up

The butt of endless jokes and memes here at FTM, this song had the nearly middle-aged Mr. Bryan tossing out slang, partying with the youngs, and inviting them under the bridge as long as they left their cell phones at the truck and didn't tell anyone. Wait, what? Nearly as bad as "That's My Kind of Night," one of the worst country songs ever released.

3. Florida-Georgia Line - Sun Daze

Released in 2014, puked …err peaked in 2015. Maybe that's cheating a little, but this song is bad enough to make "worst of" lists in multiple years. Our heroic lead singer, in this classy gem, refers to his penis as an umbrella and his paramour's vagina as a drink in which he plans to insert his tiny decorative umbrella whilst she perches uncomfortably upon the sink, hoping not to be grinded into the dirty dishes by the stoned Tyler Hubbard. Hot garbage. Not even the catchy kind.

4. Zac Brown Band - Beautiful Drug

Enough's been said about this lame-ass EDM song to fill a book the size of Benedict Arnold's biography. Can one song ruin the legacy of a heretofore mostly respected artist? Maybe not, but this is at least enough to leave a smelly stain and cause a great deal of worry about this talented band's future.

5. Old Dominion - Break Up With Him

This creepy bastard wants you to break up with your boyfriend, for whom you've confessed no ill will towards, and come over to have sex with him. When I used to write lyrics, one of the oft-repeated rules was to back up your message. In this song, they needed to prove the current boyfriend actually deserves to be broken up with to make the singer more sympathetic. They did nothing of the sort, coming off as an Axe-sprayed, too-tight-tshirt-wearing douchebag just looking for a little play, not caring about the repercussions on other people's lives. Just a pile of crap.

6. Cole Swindell - Let Me See Ya Girl

This song proved bro-country in its purest form hadn't left us in 2015. In fact, it went to #1 on the charts with this craptastic half-written rehash of everything Florida-Georgia Line has wet dreams about. Drive truck with hottie, find place to party. Come up with new and exciting figures of speech to describe the sexy movements of the aforementioned hottie. Hey, I know!... "like wind moves cotton?" Really?

7. Chase Rice - Gonna Wanna Tonight

Insipid. Every time I went in Dollar General this year, there was a 1/3 chance this song was playing over the intercom. I made my visits quick. 

8. Haley Georgia - Ridiculous

This song would be ranked higher if it had had any impact whatsoever upon the charts or "country music" culture, but it didn't… thankfully. This tune was basically an excuse for a girl to sing the word "dick" over and over without getting censored for it. True ear torture.

9. Jason Aldean - Gonna Know We Were Here

Jason Aldean doesn't care anymore and he doesn't even care if you know it. In the point of his album era when Aldean usually releases a song that seems way too good for an a-hole of his calibre, Jason this time chose to put out one of his least distinctive and worst singles of his career.  

Rant: As mean as I can be on here, I don't actually hate or even dislike (as people) most of the artists that I pick on, but Aldean's a tool and I truly don't care for the guy, and he's certainly not making it easy to change that line of thinking with his music, his attitude, or his actions.

10. Danielle Bradbery - Friend Zone

Just listen to this shit.

Zac Brown "Beautiful Drug" Lyric Generator

You can go make a Zac Brown Band "Beautiful Drug" "Lyric Generator" Meme here: http://lyrics.zacbrownband.com/

or you can just make some yourself. 

I chose the latter.