Showing posts with label Brad Paisley. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Brad Paisley. Show all posts
Apr 11, 2013
Apr 10, 2013
Top 10 Lyrics That Wouldn't Have Made "Accidental Racist" Any Worse
10. If you don't judge my candy paint whip
I'll forget the pain and punishment
9. To the bum that squeegeed my windshield at the stoplight down on Main,
I think you missed a spot
8. I try to put myself in your shoes but I look dumb in Air Jordans
7. Dear Mr. Honky, You ain't bout that life
6. Our generation doesn't deserve any blamin'
But we're still paying for old faux pas
5. When I put on that t-shirt, the only thing I meant to say is I'm a Brantley fan
4. If you don't judge my baby mamas
I'll say George Bush was better than Obama
3. Caught between achy breaky and Harlem shake
2. And it ain't like you and me are up to speed on history
1. If you don't judge my twenty-twos
I won't bust a cap in you
Apr 9, 2013
Feb 20, 2013
Brad Paisley Lyric Parody: Pseudo Country Zone
Pseudo Country Zone
(Parody of Brad Paisley's "Southern Comfort Zone")
When your wheelhouse is the sound of Aldean,
The first time you leave it can be weird, but you're appalling
Not everybody drinks and drives, not everybody is a tool
Not every girl wears cut offs, on dates and job interviews
Not everybody likes to pose or dance around on CMT
Not everybody has to list country things to prove they're country
Oh, douchey man,
You won't understand
When I miss Merle singin' me back home
And I'm tired of pickup truck songs
I will lose IQ points till I go
Outside the pseudo country zone
I have heard the songs of Snow; Jr. ain't the only "Hank"
I don't think a country song should make my speakers crank
I have seen Keith Whitley play at a southern rodeo
He didn't mention pasture fights or bust out a hip-hop flow
I really don't like to see somebody take a pee,
All over the things I cherish like art and honesty
And I miss Merle singin' me back home
And I'm tired of pickup truck songs
I will lose IQ points till I go
Outside the pseudo country zone
I hate your tight jeans and your shakin'
Guitars jamming, disco lights
You're so well-trained at fakin'
Unscuffed Justins, teeth pearly white
I have since become a wanderer
Cause I'm sick of all that crap
Sometimes to find a real treasure
You have to leave the beaten path
Clearchannel's playin' a dick again
And I miss Merle singin' me back home
And I'm tired of pickup truck songs
I will lose IQ points till I go
Outside the pseudo country zone
Jan 31, 2013
Nov 28, 2012
Country Day Part 3: Taylor Swift, Brad Paisley, etc.
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| Confession: I didn't do anything to this cover, it's just funny. |
Nov 1, 2012
Aug 21, 2012
May 9, 2012
Nov 17, 2011
Top 10 (Non-Existent) Country Songs About Picnic Products
With the popularity of Toby Keith's "Red Solo Cup" (which is either completely insipid or absolute genius), FTM considered which other picnic essentials might make for good (okay, terrible) song fodder.
Top 10 (Non-Existent) Country Songs About Picnic Products
10. Martina McBride - "Dasani Bottle (It's a Good Thing Gin is Clear)"
09. Garth Brooks - "Are You Gonna Finish That Pimento and Cheese?"
08. Bucky Covington - "Grilling for Dummies"
07. Little Jimmy Dickens - "Bury Me in a Coleman When I Die"
06. Brantley Gilbert - "Drinking the Koolaid"
05. Chris Knight - "Lawn Dart Through the Heart"
04. Loretta Lynn - "You Ain't Woman Enough to Take My Ham Sandwich"
03. Kid Rock - "Wet Ones Antibacterial"
02. Brad Paisley - "I'd Like to Spray You With Off"
01. Gary Levox - "Dixie Heavy Duty Plates"
Nov 13, 2011
Sep 20, 2011
I'm Sorry, This Exists 2
Irony at its best: A Carrie Underwood BBQ Apron (I guess you can barbecue veggies, but whatever)
Jason Aldean Logo Tattoo
Aug 14, 2011
Snap Judgments: Promo Only Country Radio August '11
In this edition of Promo Only Country Radio, it has finally happened. There's almost nothing here that actually qualifies as country, in my book. There's pop, there's hair metal-esque power balladry, there's rap. We've already reached the mono-genre that Triggerman at Saving Country Music talks about all the time. Sad, but true.
Click song titles to listen.
Hard to listen to any of her songs without bias now. Sure, she's no Chris Brown, but her name still carries some baggage. This is an inspirational pop tune, a la what she used to put out a lot (huh huh huh - you said "put out a lot") after "Blue." She's in fine voice here. It's not a bad song, probably good enough to return Leann to the upper realms of the charts. Not something I plan to listen to again, but it won't make me change radio stations.
C+
I like his voice. First time I've actually heard it. This is a power ballad. Poison with a twang. I like it in a guilty pleasure sort of way but I can't, in good conscience, give a really high rating to a non-country song released as a country song.
B-
Steve's settled into this groove of earnest songs that don't have much spark, but do carry plenty of honesty. This is a non-flag-waving tune about a soldier returning from, presumably, the Middle East, and hoping to ease back into real life. It's very strong lyrically. There's an unspoken fear underlying the narrative that maybe his family doesn't need him as much as he needs them right now and that's heartbreaking. Good stuff, maybe a little too down-tempo to be a big hit but who knows?
B+
More pop country. Not grabbing me at all. Yawn. Bouncy and uplifting I guess, but I wasn't paying much attention. That's what country radio is counting on!
C-
I've heard this song many times, so this isn't a snap judgment. Cost of Livin' is an awesome song, far and away the best commercial country single of 2011, possibly the best in recent years. If you don't like it, I don't like you. If it doesn't reach the top 5, I'm done with country radio, other than making fun of it. This is a signature song of our times.
A+
A double-entendre stretched into a 3 minute country song. It is country, so there's that going for it. Going down, rod in her hand, pretty pink bobbers... yeah this is about fishing. Quite honestly, this is as dirty as anything 2 Live Crew ever put out... and your kids will be singing along to it. Disconcerting in my book. Kinda catchy but I can't get behind this at all.
D
Yep, still the worst thing I've heard in recent memory. Insert humorous comparison to feces here: _____ See this review.
F
This has a different feel to it, more organic than most of what's on the radio. It reminds me a little of "Lover, Lover" a little, but more uptempo. If country must stray from its roots, I suppose this is an acceptable road to take.
B
You want to know why there are hardly any females on the country charts? Because EVERYTHING new that comes out sounds just like this. Girls, quit following... we need some leaders.
D
Idol's runner-up delivers a "mama" song much better than Idol alum superstar Carrie Underwood's recent one. Surprisingly, this is one of the few country-sounding songs on this collection. I think I hear fiddles somewhere in there. Good voice. Solid debut.
B-
Speaking of Carrie... here's her latest, a soap opera-ready power ballad with former-neo-traditionalist Brad Paisley that ain't bad but ain't much. Huge hit that'll be all but forgotten a year from now.
C
It's sad when I was actually looking forward to this song to break up the monotony. Ugh. Not good. Colt still can't rap. The vocals are so strangely processed that it barely sounds like Craig Morgan singing the hook. Colt still can't rap. Did I already say that? This is the hick hop version of one of Eminem's songs about his daughter. Positives: nice message, country instrumentals. Negatives: everything else.
D+
Taking a cue from Chris Young, Jerrod re-releases a single he already put out. In fact, I already reviewed it on one of these Promo Only write-ups. Happily, it has grown on me since the last time I reviewed it. Sadly, it's still not anything special.
B-
I like Scotty's voice and the fact that he says he plans to "stay country," blending Conway and Merle into his modern sound gives me hope for him and the genre as a whole. However, his first one out of the gate is too cheesy for me to even listen to, much less enjoy. The fact that the hook is an unintended double-entendre for wang size is just embarrassing. 10 years ago, you'd have been labeled a perv for interpretting it that way but these days... with even news websites using dirty double-meaning headlines.. you have to be cognizant of every possible meaning, intended or not.
C-
Already tanked, and for good reason. While I have a guilty desire for B&R to come back with something as shamefully catchy as "Ride a Horse," it's not looking likely. This is a lunk-headed piece of crap. Not clever, not catchy, not anything. I thought John Rich was a big time songwriter. You're only as good as your last hit. He's gonna be auctioning off Mt. Richmore bottle by bottle in no time at this rate. This is garbage.
D-
Today is not your day, Shania. Boring. Nearly unlistenable inspirational dreck. I didn't expect anything remotely sounding like Tanya Tucker out of Ms. Twain, but this is ridiculous. Apparently Mutt Lange was the mad puppet-master behind Shania's success, because if this is any indication of what we might hear from her from this point on, she's done.
D-
What more is there to say? I've run this song into the ground and still no one gave a shit. It hit number one like I knew it would. I'm done here.
D-
Aug 10, 2011
Brad Paisley Parody - "Rewind Me"
Rewind Me
(A Parody of Brad Paisley & Carrie Underwood’s “Remind Me”)
I didn’t care if I wasn’t cool
Songs about life and heartbroke fools
Cheatin’ and dyin’ and old barstools
What happened to three chords and the truth?
Now all my songs are sounding the same
As genres with completely different names
I miss the tunes I spun back then I wanna go back there again
Been so long bet you forget the things that you should expect
Rewind me, rewind me
Stop it with the pickup trucks, Old Hank is frowning from above
Rewind me, rewind me
Remember the Possum breaking your heart
Jerry Reed raising hell on his guitar
The Man in Black used to walk that line
But Nashville's gone and lost its spine
Do you remember how I used to sound
Before they upped the volume, put the fiddles down
Rewind me, dammit, rewind me
Where’s the country you used to love?
The grit and the twang that you miss so much
Rewind me, please please, rewind me
I want the steel to play
On me, country radio
Oh, if you still love me
Don't let heritage go
Won't you rewind me, rewind me
Do you remember the way it was?
Yeah, back when money wasn't the driving force
Rewind me
Yeah, rewind me
I didn't have anything to prove
Country's what you are not the words you use
Rewind me, oh, baby, rewind me
Yeah, you’d tune in to hear genuine hurt
Or drink with me at the bar after work
Rewind me
Wish you could rewind me
Oh, go on, rewind me, baby, rewind me
Yeah, I should be real as that Delta dirt
Oh, yeah, rewind me
Lord, rewind me
Jul 17, 2011
Mar 6, 2011
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