Showing posts with label Eric Church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Eric Church. Show all posts
Aug 11, 2016
The Current Poop of Mainstream Country Music
A ratings system based on poop emojis seems right in our wheelhouse, so here you go. This is the current Mediabase Top 20 country songs. Poop is bad. Not-Poop is good. The potential worst rating is 5 poop emojis. The potential best is 5 not-poop emojis. Here's Trailer's opinion of each song. Enjoy! (...?)
The inaugural Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is 5 POOP EMOJIS (or -5) overall. Please read Country Perspective's Current Pulse for a different perspective, more class, and better insight.
Chart from Country Aircheck / Mediabase.
The inaugural Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is 5 POOP EMOJIS (or -5) overall. Please read Country Perspective's Current Pulse for a different perspective, more class, and better insight.
Chart from Country Aircheck / Mediabase.
Apr 29, 2016
Feb 4, 2016
Dec 4, 2015
Really Dumb Country Music Reviews 3
Real country song/album reviews from a popular music downloading service.
Sam Hunt (Montevallo & Between the Pines)
Chris Stapleton Traveller
Old Dominion Meat and Candy
Eric Church Mr. Misunderstood
Kane Brown (singles)
Redneck Souljers Firewater
Nov 25, 2015
Nov 9, 2015
Nov 5, 2015
49th CMA Awards: Snarky Twitter Wrap-Up
These aren't necessarily in order, but they hit a lot of the high points of last night's program.
Oh and, HELL YEAH CHRIS STAPLETON!!!!! (he won Best New Artist, Best Album, and Best Male Vocalist, if you were unaware)
If Chris Stapleton doesn't win all the awards tonight, we riot. #CMAawards
— Reginald Spears (@ReginaldSpears) November 4, 2015
STAPLETON/TIMBERLAKE 2016 🇺🇸🎤 #CMAawards
— Southern Girl Charm (@southrngirlchrm) November 5, 2015
My daughter just made the "confused girl in the carseat" face when FGL came on. #CMAAwards
— Farce the Music (@Farcethemusic) November 5, 2015
What is a Sam Hunt and how do you make it stop?
— NotKennyRogers (@NotKennyRogers) November 5, 2015
When I was a kid I walked in on my parents fucking. I enjoyed it more than this Sam Hunt song. #CMAawards
— Wheeler Walker, Jr. (@WheelerWalkerJr) November 5, 2015
Is #SamHunt reciting his boyhood diary as a joke, or is this actually passable as "country" music by today's standards? #CMAAwards
— We Hate Pop Country (@WHPCOfficial) November 5, 2015
Sam Hunt is what happens when I download the T-Pain AutoTune app at 3 am after 6 hours at Walt's
— Cole Cassis (@ColeCasstastic) November 5, 2015
Eric Church just name checked Elvis Costello and Jeff Tweedy on the new album title track. Take my money, thanks.
— Craig Jenkins (@CraigSJ) November 5, 2015
That's Uncle Bobby language for "I like Kacey Musgraves" hahaha and it's hard to get that man's approval. pic.twitter.com/vUtwsdabuY
— Caitlin Josephine (@Cati_Jolyn) November 5, 2015
If #dimestorecameltoe doesn't start trending immediately, I'm going to be so disappointed in you Twitter. #cmawards
— Rawhide & Velvet (@rawhidevelvet) November 5, 2015
I wish Thomas Rhett and Fall Out Boy would come down with a case of swamp ass
— Justin Hanna (@just1hanna) November 5, 2015
@Farcethemusic why do you need a belt for skinny jeans? Don't they hold themselves up?
— Mark Breunig (@biggerging82) November 5, 2015
'Sure Gonna Know We Were Here' is Aldean's very worst song. What utter idiocy. All his hubris distilled into 3 minutes. #CMAawards
— Grady Smith (@gradywsmith) November 5, 2015
Y'all enjoy the CMA awards while you can, and by that I mean "before Earl Dibbles Jr. wins one."
— Charlie Stout (@charliestout) November 5, 2015
Inner monologue: WHEN IS THE BEAT GONNA DROP? https://t.co/Ec8MNui4Sr
— HuskerGuy (@thehuskerguy) November 5, 2015
Who does #RonnieDunn's plastic surgery? I wanna make sure I avoid them. #CMAawards
— Forrest Jenkins (@forrest_jenkins) November 5, 2015
This is a special moment for ALL of country music. What a talent. What a story. What a man. #CMAawards
— Jason Scott (@JasontheScott) November 5, 2015
Somewhere, Scott Borchetta is trying to figure out what size skinny jeans Chris Stapleton would wear. #CMAs
— Robert Groves (@FiveOLetsGo) November 5, 2015
My favorite celebrity Halloween costume was most certainly Sam Hunt as Wednesday Adams #CMAawards @Farcethemusic
— Tabitha Nicholson (@tabithanichol1) November 5, 2015
How many shallow morons are crying their eyes out right now because some beardy dude beat their beautiful idols?
— Farce the Music (@Farcethemusic) November 5, 2015
Congrats @ChrisStapleton you are ruling so hard. Your Tennessee Whiskey duet with JT was bad ass too dude.
— Shooter Jennings (@ShooterJennings) November 5, 2015
I want to thank FGL for stopping by American Eagle to pick up their new outfits for tonight. #CMAawards
— Nikki Thomas (@NikkiThomas103) November 5, 2015
Luke Bryan wins the CMA for Bad Rapping Middle Aged White Guy of the Year. #CMAawards
— Saving Country Music (@The_Triggerman) November 5, 2015
The most revolutionary thing you can do in Nashville today is play country music.
#ChrisStapleton
— Taylor Jones (@NashvilleNiner) November 5, 2015
I have never been as happy at a CMA awards show as I am now..sitting across the aisle from @ChrisStapleton and Morgane. Happy heart!
— Lee Ann Womack (@leeannwomack) November 5, 2015
Oct 8, 2015
Guest Submissions: Snoop Dogg, Eric Church, Luke Bryan stuff
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| Meme concept from Colby Cummings |
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| Jacob sent in this picture of a Luke Bryan branded rape whistle. This is real. No Photoshop involved. |
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| Troy Maturin sent in this Snoop Dogg country album cover. |
Aug 19, 2015
May 28, 2015
"Follow Your Data," a #saladgate Parody
"Follow Your Data"
(Parody of Kacey Musgraves "Follow Your Arrow")
If you play something real twangy
It's a bore
If you don't play something twangy
Blogs call you a whore-able station
If you don't dig Sam Hunt
You're an old fool
But they'll call you sellout
Soon as he's in the rotation
If you don't drop George Strait
Then you're old hat
And you can't play females
Oh, back to back
You're screwed if you're cool
And screwed if you're old school
So you might as well just use
Those number crunching tools
And
Make lots of cash
Play lots of trash
And sell lots of ads
Cause that's all that you're into
When the real and honest
Makes listeners irate
Fish or cut bait, rock on
Just follow your data
Wherever it leads, yeah
Follow your data
Wherever it leads
If you don't play Eric Church
Then Cole Swindell
Then that Luke Bryan one
Then one more bro
Before a chick
Son you just
Can't win for losing
You'll just disappoint 'em
And no, you can't beat 'em
Make salad and join 'em
And make lots of cash
With songs that suck ass
And sell lots of ads
Cause that's all that you're into
When the real and honest
Makes listeners irate
Fish or cut bait, rock on
Just follow your data
Wherever it leads, yeah
Follow your data
Wherever it leads
F*** what you think
Love who you love
But just forget
Programming songs that aren't fun
Yeah, you dumbass
Just git 'er done
Make lots of dough
Skip tomatoes
Lettuce, row on row
Cause that's what fans are into
Yeah, the real and honest
Makes the idiots hate
Fish or cut bait, rock on
Just follow your data
Wherever it leads, yeah
Follow your data
Wherever it leads
(Parody of Kacey Musgraves "Follow Your Arrow")
If you play something real twangy
It's a bore
If you don't play something twangy
Blogs call you a whore-able station
If you don't dig Sam Hunt
You're an old fool
But they'll call you sellout
Soon as he's in the rotation
If you don't drop George Strait
Then you're old hat
And you can't play females
Oh, back to back
You're screwed if you're cool
And screwed if you're old school
So you might as well just use
Those number crunching tools
And
Make lots of cash
Play lots of trash
And sell lots of ads
Cause that's all that you're into
When the real and honest
Makes listeners irate
Fish or cut bait, rock on
Just follow your data
Wherever it leads, yeah
Follow your data
Wherever it leads
If you don't play Eric Church
Then Cole Swindell
Then that Luke Bryan one
Then one more bro
Before a chick
Son you just
Can't win for losing
You'll just disappoint 'em
And no, you can't beat 'em
Make salad and join 'em
And make lots of cash
With songs that suck ass
And sell lots of ads
Cause that's all that you're into
When the real and honest
Makes listeners irate
Fish or cut bait, rock on
Just follow your data
Wherever it leads, yeah
Follow your data
Wherever it leads
F*** what you think
Love who you love
But just forget
Programming songs that aren't fun
Yeah, you dumbass
Just git 'er done
Make lots of dough
Skip tomatoes
Lettuce, row on row
Cause that's what fans are into
Yeah, the real and honest
Makes the idiots hate
Fish or cut bait, rock on
Just follow your data
Wherever it leads, yeah
Follow your data
Wherever it leads
Feb 16, 2015
Dec 30, 2014
FTM's Favorite Albums of 2014: Very Honorable Mentions
Being mentioned here while still outside the top 50 may seem like a slight to these albums, but in a year I listened to 200+ new albums and sampled countless others, these were all worthy of hours of play each. Also, it was a consistently strong year for music (if not as full of stone cold classics as some) so there was a lot of good stuff to choose from. This is just one guy's opinion (next year FTM will likely begin having a composite list from our 3 contributors plus me), so sometimes it's not about actual quality of an album, but how it affected me on an emotional, critical and intellectual level. These are all very strong releases.
Very Honorable Mentions (in no particular order):
Very Honorable Mentions (in no particular order):
Sunny Sweeney - Provoked
Parker Millsap - s/t
Counting Crows - Somewhere Under Wonderland
Shovels & Rope - Swimmin' Time
Eric Church - The Outsiders
Rodney Crowell - Tarpaper Sky
Dierks Bentley - Riser
The Hold Steady - Teeth Dreams
Justin Townes Earle - Single Mothers
Willie Nelson - Band of Brothers
Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings - Give the People What They Want
TV on the Radio - Seeds
Nickel Creek - A Dotted Line
Miranda Lambert - Platinum
Sundy Best - Bring Up the Sun
Rosanne Cash - The River & The Thread
YG - My Krazy Life
Weezer - Everything Will Be Alright in the End
Eli Young Band - 10,000 Towns
Damien Rice - My Favourite Faded Fantasy
Jenny Lewis - Voyager
Dec 9, 2014
Three Up Three Down: December '14
3 Up
Maddie & Tae - Girl in a Country Song
This is both a good song and a culturally significant song. Rarely do those two things equal a popular song, but here we are with it sitting at #1 on the Mediabase charts and others. Are listeners grinning a little and moving on to the next booty-on-a-tailgate song or nodding their heads in acknowledgement? It's hard to know right now, but I suppose we'll see in time. The fact that these thoughts about sexism and clichés in country music are now out there beyond FTM's constant complaining and the occasional newspaper website think-piece is a good start. The fact that Maddie and Tae have proven on their recent EP to be more than the vehicle for what some surely consider a novelty song is even more favorable. Fingers crossed.
B+
Eric Church - Talladega
Eric Church does nostalgia better than anyone on the charts right now because he starts with the personal and makes it sound universal, while everyone else seems to be taking the opposite approach. "Talledega" sounds like a big ol' yeehaw, NASCAR loving anthem if you just pay attention to the high points, but it's really a small story wrapped in a big idea. The chorus might call on everybody to sing along and it may beg for sponsorship opportunities, but the verses actually make you miss the fun and friends from that trip you may or may not have ever even made to watch cars turn left. It's wistful and epic and everything this kind of song should be.
A
Jake Owen - What We Ain't Got
Co-written by Travis Meadows and Travis Jerome Goff, "What We Ain't Got" is a powerful ballad about never being satisfied with with one's situation, possessions and relationships. It's a simple longing that falls into several categories of the Christian concept of sin, but one that no one is immune to. Jake Owen spoke of this song as a harbinger of change and he wasn't over-hyping it. The song opens Owen's field of view and enlivens the possibilities for his future work being more varied and deeper than flip-flops, summer flings and tan lines. It's also great for country radio, since its frequent play forces dunderhead bro's to listen to something with actual artistic merit and positive moral implications. Jake's vocal talent and commercial momentum combined with a truly great song make this a release of considerable importance.
A+
3 Down
Parmalee - Close Your Eyes
They rhyme "hotter" with "water." That's enough to disqualify this song from being anything I'd ever listen to on purpose, but worse than that, "Close Your Eyes" is a color-by-numbers. bro-country lite song created specifically to be airplay filler. And now, it's top 10 airplay filler. The emperor has no clothes and nobody gives a shit. Sing familiar words with a familiar melody that fits into the current sonic model and don't make anybody think negative thoughts and you've got a hit. Well done, Parmalee, former rock band who couldn't hack it without switching genres to take advantage of country radio's doldrums. Take a bow.
D
Scotty McCreery - Feelin' It
I've said it before: Scotty McCreery has a fantastic country voice. Much like his vocal doppelganger, Josh Turner, he's struggled to find material that both fits his rich delivery and the whims of commercial country music. He's done it with this track - if by "done it" I mean, focused entirely on the whims portion of that last sentence. Not that he sounds bad singing this craptacular song, it's just that any minuscule thread of artistic quality is foregone for a steady run up Bob Kingsley's countdown. How bad is this song? Well, Ray-Bans are rayin' and cut-offs are cuttin', whatever those two statements mean. The build to the chorus is basically saying "here, I will continue to sing you this song about how we are enjoying chilling in the sun and drinking beverages." The chorus is basically saying "We are greatly enjoying chilling in the sun and drinking beverages." Then he rhymes "hotter" with "water" and you already know my disdain for that sort of thing. This song can take its "glossin' lip gloss" and kiss my ass; it's completely embarrassing and pathetic. Scotty, if you're going to use your gift to unleash tripe like this upon the world, I'd rather you go back and give minor league baseball a shot. "Screwball's screwin', catcher's chewin'…."
D-
Florida-Georgia Line - Sun Daze
I'm sure I've already said enough about this one with memes and whatnot, but hey, it still sucks. While I did actually like "Dirt," I'm starting to think these guys are just lowering the bar with nearly every single to make their mediocre work sound like classics. "Sun Daze" is stupid, derivative, artless, and is only catchy in the way that kidnapping sometimes brings about Stockholm syndrome. FGL's previous low-water mark was "This is How We Roll." That song was at least interesting with its obvious critic trolling slang and attitude. This song is just spectacularly awful and further proof that you can never underestimate the taste of the American public.
F
Dec 8, 2014
Aug 22, 2014
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