Showing posts with label Eric Church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Eric Church. Show all posts
Nov 26, 2019
Nov 21, 2019
This Guy Rants About The CMA Entertainer of the Year Award Controversy
Garth Brooks won the CMA entertainment of the year award and everybody’s in there feelings about it. I’m a little mad myself sense Keith Urban didn’t win it, but that’s not why other people are all salty. They think, get this, that Carry Underwood or Eric Church shoulda won. LMOA! On one side you’ve got all the feminists who want women to win everything and rule the world (go rule over the laundry room, lol). On the other side, you’ve got hipster country fans who think Eric Church is any good.
There both wrong! If Keith Urban couldn’t win it Garth is the man! I’ve seen garth live at least 5 times and it was a damn party! He ran around like a crazy person and climbed on stuff and yelled! It was bad ass. And Garth is one of the inventors of country music. How could you not know that? Him and Tim McGraw are the first people to make country music worth listening too so I consider them the pine ears of the music!
Now lets look at Eric Church. He’s obviously on drugs sense he never takes off his shades. And his songs are all complicated and shit. I just want to here about not going down till the sun comes up and drinking two peenya coladas and friends being in low places but he sings about monsters and being desperate or some crap. That’s not country! And he sings about that liberal loon Bruce Springsting to. I don’t know anybody who listens to that lefty crap so why would I want to hear a song about him?? Duh.
Now Carry Underwood is hot. I’ll give you that. She’s real entertaining if you turn the sound off, you know what I’m saying? But when you have to here her voice, it’s awful. And she sings about love all the time. She’s also a liberal deep state member. It’s crazy we let these people into country music in the first place! She’s a vagrant too! That means she doesn’t eat any meat products. What.the.f.? Both her and Eric don’t want me to have my collection of bazookas and Gatling guns. Damn gun grabbers. Neither one of them deserves to be the entertainment of the month at Chucky Cheese’s much less for the hole country music asociation.
My final comment is: scoreboard! Garth won. Get over it. You can’t try to get rid of him like your trying to do too a certain other American hero right now. God blessed country music an America!
Labels:
Carrie Underwood,
Eric Church,
Garth Brooks,
Keith Urban,
Satire,
This Guy
Jul 23, 2019
Jul 12, 2019
The Current Poop of Mainstream Country: July '19
A poop emoji is negative; a strike-thru is positive.
The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-10) overall which is a 6 point improvement from January (the previous time we did this chart). The best song on the chart is Eric Church’s “Some of It.” The worst is Thomas Rhett’s “Look What God Gave Her” (though there is very stiff competition from FGL and Luke Bryan). The biggest surprise for me is that Keith Urban’s current single isn’t too bad. I can’t remember the last time one of his singles wasn’t unlistenable pop dreck. Women are faring a little better on the chart now, but only marginally.
Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.
Jul 8, 2019
More Monday Memes: Hardcore Country Lyrics, Kane Brown, Old Town Road
Labels:
Eric Church,
Hank Jr.,
Johnny Cash,
Kane Brown,
memes,
Old Town Road,
Sam Hunt,
Satire,
Thomas Rhett,
Zac Brown Band
Jan 10, 2019
Really Dumb Country Reviews: January '19
These are actual customer reviews from a popular music service.
----------
Dan + Shay - Self-Titled
Florida-Georgia Line - Can't Say I Ain't Country
This one's obviously a troll, but read it any way you want. |
Johnny Cash (2 different albums)
Kane Brown - Experiment
Mitchell Tenpenny - Telling All My Secrets
Eric Church - Desperate Man
Jan 3, 2019
Inappropriate TV Scene Background Country Songs
Dec 31, 2018
Monday Morning Memes: 2018 Memes Edition
Labels:
Country Radio,
Eric Church,
Kermit,
memes,
Pokemon,
Satire,
Tyler Childers
Dec 13, 2018
What Your Favorite 2018 Album Says About You 3
Brothers Osborne - Port Saint Joe
You smoke dope and vote Democrat, but don't want your dad to find out.
Morgan Evans - Things That We Drink To
Wait, who??
6ix9ine - Dummy Boy
You were fired from your job at Walgreens for having purple hair (but really it was for stealing pills).
Ghost - Prequelle
Your idea of a good time is reading about serial killers on Wikipedia. You dabbled in satanism in high school, but now are a Lutheran.
MTHRFCKR - Micro Crystals
You are too much of a hipster contrarian to admit this album doesn't actually exist.
Eric Church - Desperate Man
You love how Eric is such a renegade and so different from all those other bro-dudes on country radio, but your favorite song of his is "These Boots."
The Carters - Everything is Love
You will send me death threats if I say this album wasn't that good.
Eminem - Kamikaze
You are male, mid-thirties, single, and still argue with your parents over the rent for your room over the garage.
Sun Kil Moon - This is My Dinner
You are a military interrogator and this is your "favorite" only in that it is the most effective torture device to get enemy combatants to reveal information.
Greta Van Fleet - Anthem of the Peaceful Army
You are a forty-something dad who respects Led Zeppelin but doesn't really like them. Your ex-wife is still living pretty comfortably off the divorce settlement, but sells LulaRoe and essential oils on Facebook for extra cash.
Jason Aldean - Rearview Town
You didn't actually listen to the whole album, just the singles. You type things on Facebook like "Sam Hunt sucks… listen too real country like Jason Aldean an Old Dominion!"
Labels:
Beyonce,
Brothers Osborne,
Eminem,
Eric Church,
Greta Van Fleet,
Jason Aldean,
Jay-Z,
Lists,
Morgan Evans,
Satire,
Takashi 69
Nov 7, 2018
Eric Church & Bruce Springsteen Perform "Working on the Highway"
Labels:
Bruce Springsteen,
Eric Church,
Live performances
Oct 10, 2018
Really Dumb Country Reviews: October '18
These are all real reviews on a popular music download service.
----------
Mitchell Tenpenny EP
Kane Brown - Experiment
Luke Combs - This One's for You Too
(These are dumb because why the hell would you buy an album without checking its contents?? And you don't have to buy the whole album again, you morons. You can just buy the bonus tracks. Really, these people are idiots.)
Carrie Underwood - Cry Pretty
Thomas Rhett - Life Changes (Deluxe)
Eric Church - Desperate Man
Not about the politics of this one - just the reading comprehension skills and grammar. |
Dan + Shay - s/t
Do what now? |
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