Showing posts with label Guest Submissions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Guest Submissions. Show all posts

Oct 8, 2015

Guest Submissions: Snoop Dogg, Eric Church, Luke Bryan stuff

Meme concept from Colby Cummings

Jacob sent in this picture of a Luke Bryan branded rape whistle.
This is real. No Photoshop involved.

Troy Maturin sent in this Snoop Dogg country album cover.

Oct 10, 2014

What We Were Gonna Ask Luke Bryan

Luke Bryan was originally listed to do a Reddit AMA (ask me anything) session yesterday at noon. However, earlier Thursday, the listing was changed from "Luke Bryan and Crash My Playa Team" (Crash My Playa is his upcoming Mexican concert) to "Crash My Playa Team." I'd been pretty excited about the potential for some sweet, sweet trolling and so were some of FTM's Twitter and Facebook pals. Here's what we'd planned to ask him.

What advice would you give to young country singers who dream of selling their souls for the adulation of millions of shallow women?

Gold Bond or just plain baby powder?

Are you still able to perform in the bedroom after years of wearing skinny jeans?

What's your stance on our country's current fiscal policy? Hah just kidding, what's Jason Aldeans girlfriends like? -Bradley Wayne Jackson

Do you shop in the juniors section?

Has the guy from Florida Georgia Line ever stuck his pink umbrella in your drink? -John Cole

Do you think Hank Sr. would be better at the nae nae or the Shmoney dance?

What screen resolution are your teeth set to? -Jeremy Harris

Does making millions singing the same simple song over and over to the same simple people ever make you question your belief in God?

Is your truck so big to compensate for the wiener you're capable of fitting in your tiny jeans? -Caitlyn Josephine

Have your handlers considered installing bumper rails around the stage to keep your goofy ass from falling?

So when is the hip hop album coming out? ... oh wait... nevermind. -Christy Meaux

How often are you able to cuddle with Jason Aldean? -Seth Wilson

If you had a teenage daughter how would you feel about an almost 40-year-old man waving his pecker in her face in skinny jeans at a spring break concert? -Y.J. Jones

Have you read any books this yea… century?

If Waylon came back from the grave today, what would you say to him to keep him from beating you senseless?

You've received a lot of criticism from the Americana movement regarding the lyrics of the songs you've performed. Your critics say your lyrics are trivial, lacking in substance, or detached from reality. What would you like to say to these critics? -Benton Leachman

I know it must be difficult to eat healthy on the road. How do you keep your girlish figure?

A little Hank a little Drake, right... And please what exact songs are on that mix-tape? I'd really like to know how one works those onto the same selection of tunes. -Trey Velez

Do you listen to country music, and have you ever considered recording a country album? -Sam Gazdziak

Aug 29, 2014

FTM Fantasy Football Team Names

The NFL gets rolling next week, so it's fantasy draft time! I only have 2 fantasy teams this year. That's low for me.... They're named "Blake Shelton's Ego" and "Reptile Aliens Made of Light." Here are some other suggested music-related fantasy football team names by me and some of FTM's Facebook and Twitter pals. You're welcome to steal them because you probably aren't in the same leagues...

Willie's Buds
Stand By Your Manziel
Do the Sankey Legg -Russell Parmele
The Hell Mama Raised
Cash's Walk the Liners -Ray Weaver
Call Me the Brees
The Men (or Women) in Black
Lawrence Taylor Swift -Perry Brown (of Fire Mountain)
Don't Come Around Here Romo
Touchdown Troubadours
Boy Named Suh
You Never Even Called Me Legedu Naanee
Honky Tonk Heroes
Gridiron Maiden -Scott Bumpus
Wake Me Up Before You Romo -Joe Fink 
Montee Mountain High
Sunday Manning Coming Down -Ryan Depew
She Likes the Bortles (And I Like the Stones) -Ryan Depew
Black Sheep of the Fantasy League
Florida Georgia Linebackers -Mike Holcomb
Gimme Three Downs
Talkin' Seattle Seahawks Blues
Manning, I Feel Like a Woman -Andrew Lacy
Don't Rocca the Jukebox
Bad Bad Cleveland Browns -Matt Bjorke
Don't Cry For Me, Joe Montana -Matt Bjorke
The Snake Farmers
Taylor Swift's Red Zone -Jeremy Plotkin
C.J. Spiller's Still the King
Forte Good Times
Retribution Honkytonkists -Gahteeriffico
Me & Robby G
Let There Be Gronk
Shit Mountain KingTurds -'Rev' Brian T Sloane
Third Rate Romo
Tom Brady & The Heartbreakers
LeSean Remains the Same
Welker to the Jungle -Kenny Graves
The Age of Demaryius -Kenny Graves

Mrs. Stevan Ridley
The Whiskey (Phillip) Rivers

Ballou Ballers -Rita Ballou
Amendola by Morning

*I would include one entry by my good friend Anthony Mayhan, but it was a bit too un-PC.

May 27, 2014

Bro-Country Legends: AJ

This is a new series of posts created by the Cooper Brothers. That's as much explanation as you'll need.

Tuesday Morning Memes: Jason Derulo, Thomas Rhett, Donkey, etc.

Thanks to Kristen for this one (I just added the pics and the watermark)!

Thanks to Dewayne for this one!


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