FTM's Christmas Parody Song Playlist

FTM Holiday Song Parody Playlist*:

David Allan Coe- I'm Dreaming of a White White Christmas

Kacey Musgraves feat Ashley Monroe and Willie Nelson- The Christmas Bong

Florida-Georgia Line- Doin' it for the HoHoHos

Scotty McCreery - The Howdy Doody Christmas

Gary Levox- I'm Getting Stuffing for Christmas

Taylor Swift - Santa Looked a Lot Like Scott Borchetta

Kenny Chesney-  All I Want for Christmas is a Real Good Man

Justin Moore - Have Yourself a Very Little Christmas

Colt Ford ft T-Pain- Rufus the Remix Reindeer

Jason Aldean - Oh Come All Ye Unfaithful

Luke Bryan- Rockin' Around in Skinny Jeans

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-Concept and most of the titles by Robert Groves @fiveoletsgo

*These songs do not actually exist.

Little Known Facts: September '13

Whitey Morgan's beard is two years older than Whitey.

Jake Owen's severed finger tip recently sold on eBay for $7.

Tyler Farr had to leave his hometown of Garden City, Missouri over

fear of being Baker-acted by local mental health officials.

When asked what his biggest accomplishment since moving to Nashville was,

Justin Moore replied "Using the big boy potty."

When he returns home covered in glitter, Luke Bryan's wife wishes he had been at a gentlemen's club.

No buffalos were harmed during the recording of Buffalo Gospel's album

We Can Be Horses but three bison were castrated.

Devil John Moonshine recently selected Shooter Jennings as their spokesperson

because Davis Daniel was too busy with his music career.

The Snuffleupagus costume was recently stolen from the set of Sesame Street

forcing Colt Ford to play the part of Snuffy for three episodes.

When asked about the lasting effects of her ended relationship with

Brantley Gilbert, Jana Kramer said, "Its nothing a little cream won't clear up."

A high amount of sun exposure is harmful to your body and can alter brain function.

Example 1: Kenny Chesney.

Farcethemusic.com creator Trailer started the site after

visiting tasteofcountry.com and realizing he couldn't do worse.

Jackson Taylor's band The Sinners are all former members of 98 Degrees.

---------------

By Jeremy Harris

Fun With Google Searches: Randy Rogers, Luke Bryan, Wynonna, etc.

Once again... I didn't say it...

1 out of 4 ain't bad.

Yes, but he has to smile at the same time.

Forty-One Days Until College Football!

Jimmy Buffett's New Album Cover Revealed

Country TwitterWINS: May '13

Mary Jane's Pirate Flag

Demotivational Posters: Chesney, Wynonna, Strait

Submitted by @pawnshopgold

Country Day/Feb'13 Part 1, w/Kenny Chesney's New Cover

Single Review: Kenny Chesney - Pirate Flag

(Listen to the single here)

Kenneth Chesney's latest beach-centric tune attempts to stand out from his enormous catalogue of similar work by going the full Tom Petty. "Pirate Flag" is heartland rock n' roll with a verse melody so eerily close to Petty's "Mary Jane's Last Dance," one has to wonder if that may come up for legal discussion at some point. The theme is typical Chesney - giving up the rat-race for the Jimmy Buffett lifestyle. While Kenny has expanded his repertoire to include some more mature singles in recent years (El Cerrito Place, You and Tequila, Somewhere With You), he reserves the right to fall back on his go-to island boy schtick whenever something more appropriate his age-group fails to chart in the top 10 (El Cerrito Place). Does it sound like a beach song? Hell no. The darker musical approach doesn't line up with the imagery at all... except for the pirate flag, I suppose, but Chesney's no gun-toting boat raider, so nothing lines up. It's not a terrible song. I'm just of the opinion that if you're not going to do something that at least attempts to break new ground, either vocally (this is Kenny Chesney we're talking about), lyrically (um no) or musically (paging Tom Petty), what's the point? Treading blue Caribbean water, I suppose.

C-

Honest Radio Promo Ad: Kenny Chesney - Pirate Flag

Mysterious New Kenny Chesney Ad in Trade Publications

If Sex-Related Country Songs Had Honest Titles

She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy (Kenny Chesney)

would be

It Doesn't Take Much to Get in her Cut-off Jeans

She Cranks My Tractor (Dustin Lynch)

would be

She Gives This Redneck an Erection

Brown Chicken Brown Cow (Trace Adkins)

would be

Farm Animals Like to Watch Us Do the Nasty

Back That Thing Up (Justin Moore)

would be

Let's Go Doggy-Style...on a Hay Bale

She Thinks His Name Was John (Reba McEntire)

would be

She Used to Spread Like Parkay

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy (Big and Rich)

would be

Heres a Bumper Sticker Slogan, Let's F**k

Big Green Tractor (Jason Aldean)

would be

My Wang is Not the Right Color

I've Already Loved You In My Mind (Conway Twitty)

would be

I Rubbed One Out in the Bathroom Before I Introduced Myself

Nothing On But the Radio (Gary Allan)

would be

These Weight Loss Commercials are Really Killing My Boner

Bob That Head (Rascal Flatts)

would be

Give Me Oral, This is How You Sonic

Something To Do With My Hands (Thomas Rhett)

would be

Oooooh, Boobies

Morning Desire (Kenny Rogers)

would be

Morning Wood

I Melt (Rascal Flatts)

would be

ugh, never mind….

Monday Morning Memes: Kenny Chesney, Elizabeth Cook, etc.

Country Horror Movie Posters: Kenny Chesney