Showing posts with label bro-country. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bro-country. Show all posts
Jun 10, 2014
Jun 5, 2014
Jun 4, 2014
Jun 3, 2014
She Stopped Shakin' It Today
Based on this. Kinda NSFW.
"She Stopped Shakin' It Today"
(Parody of George Jones' "He Stopped Loving Her Today")
She said I'll shake it all your life
He told her I like your tan lines
As her butt would slowly grind
He sipped apple pie moonshine
He kept her picture on his dash
Of his lifted chromed-out truck
He loved him that country ass
Twerkin' to "Turn Down For What"
Got her name tatted on his leg
Barbed wire heart in red and blue
And every time she gave him head
He would whisper I love you
I saw him at the gym today
Slamming down weights, stinking of beer
Said his girl had gone away
First time he missed callin' me queer
She stopped shakin' it today
He texted her that she's a whore
And soon he'll cry and smoke a j
She stopped shakin' it today.
[Spoken:]
Ya' know she gave him one last phone call
And she was pissed off about the crabs
Said "we're through" and he punched the wall
Buried his face in his ball cap
[Sang:]
She stopped shakin' it today
He texted her that she's a whore
And soon he'll wreck his Chevrolet
She stopped shakin' it today.
May 27, 2014
Bro-Country Legends: AJ
This is a new series of posts created by the Cooper Brothers. That's as much explanation as you'll need.
May 12, 2014
Apr 25, 2014
The Bro-mericana Song (Lyrical Satirical)
The Bro-mericana Song
©2014 FTM Satire
Drove my El Camino
Down past the silo
Pulled into the party spot
Cracked a Blue Ribbon
Lit up a Spirit
Asked if anyone had some pot
This is my bro-mericana song
Break out the banjos, break out the bongs
Groom your beard and sing along
This is the bro-mericana song
We talk politics
Crank up some Deer Tick
And take ourselves real serious
The girls are all tattooed
And I defy any dude
To mention one's gluteus
This is my bro-mericana song
Break out the guitars, get our folk on
Groom your beard and sing along
This is the bro-mericana song
Bridge
No flat brims, no jacked trucks
Just pearl snaps and Levi Strauss
Careful where you park your Prius
Nobody here can pull you out
This is my bro-mericana song
Break out the dobro, break out the bongs
Groom your beard and sing along
This is the bro-mericana song
Apr 19, 2014
Apr 18, 2014
Top 10 Majors at Thomas Rhett University
10. Social Media Reputation Reclamation
9. Jacked-up Truck Maintenance
8. Keg-Stand Theory
7. Moneymaker Shaking 101
6. Effective Hazing Techniques and Strategies
5. Twistin’/Tearin’ Up Friday Night
4. Bro Fashion Marketing
3. Molly Popping
2. Transmitting Sexual Diseases
1. Ice Luge Engineering
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Apr 15, 2014
If You're Gonna Play in Georgia... (Alabama Parody)
"If You're Gonna Play In Georgia
(You Gotta Have A DJ In The Band)"
(Parody of Alabama's "If You're Gonna Play in Texas (You Gotta Have a Fiddle in the Band)"
If you're gonna play in Georgia, you gotta have a DJ in the band
That lead guitar's alright but son, not for a Leesburg man
So make that EQ bounce for "Country Girl" and let's all jam
If you're gonna play in Georgia, you gotta have a DJ in the band
I remember down in Macon we were playin' country songs
When a frat-boy in the back stood up and yelled, "Get Your Shine On!"
He said, "We hate what you're doin', we need the thump real strong,
Bro, that twang you're twangin' don't belong"
If you're gonna play in Georgia, you gotta have a DJ in the band
That lead guitar's alright but not for a Columbus man
So make that EQ bounce with some Colt Ford and let's all jam
If you're gonna play in Georgia, you gotta have a DJ in the band
So we flattened our cap brims and borrowed some sweet wallet chains
Them Georgians jumped and hollered when Jeff smiled and dropped the bass
You say y'all all wanna twerk it
You say ya wanna grind a ho'
Well, here's your douche-bag song before we go
If you're gonna play in Georgia, you gotta have a DJ in the band
That lead guitar's alright but son, not for a Smyrna man
So make them hotties bounce for "Bottoms Up" and let's all jam
If you're gonna play in Georgia, you gotta have a DJ in the band
If you're gonna play in Georgia, you gotta have a DJ in the band
That lead guitar's okay, but son, not for a Moultrie man
So make that EQ bounce for "Chillin' It" and let's all jam
If you're gonna play in Georgia, you gotta have a DJ in the band
Apr 11, 2014
Mar 18, 2014
If Dallas Davidson Had Written These Big Hits
FTM ponders what these famous rock, R&B, rap and country songs would have sounded like if Dallas Davidson or any of his compadres had written them...
Pearl Jam - Even Flow
Gravel road, trucks arrive tires oversized
Oh, bring some hoes, who can make the sugar shake
Better yet, we'll have Miller Lite again
Lite again, Lite again...
Roberta Flack - First Time Ever I Saw Your Face
The first time ever I saw dat ass
I felt my skinny jeans start to rise
And the moon and the stars over my tailgate
Got to watch me get in them thighs
Merle Haggard - Fightin' Side of Me
If you gone mad-dog, step up:
Let these brass knucks be a warnin'.
If you're cock-blockin' on hotties, son,
You bout to meet the fightin' side of me.
Carl Perkins (Elvis Presley) - Blue Suede Shoes
Well, it's one for the honeys,
Two for the shine,
Three for my Chevy,
Past the county line.
But don't you step on my square-toed boots.
You can do anything but lay off of my square-toed boots.
Jay-Z - 99 Problems
99 problems but a hitch ain't one
If you need to pull a trailer, get a Smittybilt son
I got 99 problems but a hitch ain't one
Hit me
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