Monday Morning Memes: Sam Hunt, Johnny Cash, Cole Swindell

Real Headlines, Fake News: FGL, Mavericks, George Jones

More Monday Morning Memes: Sam Hunt, George & Johnny, Paycheck

You're Not a Real Country Singer!

You're Not a Real Country Singer If...

Your jeans are tight but your name ain't Dwight

You've ever suggested a trap beat to your album's producer

You've spent any amount of time trying to work 

the phrase "poop emoji" into a song @samgazdiak

All your fans need a ride from their parents to the concert... -Eddie Combs

You're more likely to be seen with a Sun Beach tan than a Miller can

You think Bobby Bare is the name of an exotic dancer -Justin Chambers

You haven't left a girl in West Virginia, up there where the green grass grows. 

Another girl in Cincinnati waiting where the Ohio River flows -Anthony Machado

They play your song on country radio @harrymorgan1937

You are certain Hank done it this way -Carl Wallace

Your jeans are tighter than your electronic drum beat @mkleiner2

You have tattoos but no scars -Seth Wilson

Your favorite Patty Loveless song is "Who is Patty Loveless?"

You are Kane Brown @amanda_darlene3

Your name rhymes with "mane crown" -Garrett Dressler

You can't get stoned with your band because it's all computers @Famous_Abell

You have a hype man

You think the Carter scratch is something your DJ does @JuliThanki

You don't say anything at all about mama, or trains, or trucks, 

or prison, or gettin' drunk. -Connor Smith

You sing about Dixie cups. (if you do, you're either a dentist or a toddler) @ryankentm

You can't name 3 George Jones songs but you remember every winner of The Bachelor

You use "how we roll" in a song and your protagonist in the song 

isn't a truck driver. -Michael Crabtree

You think American Aquarium is a nickname for Seaworld @SeanRKent

You'd rather be spayed or neutered than express any negative opinion whatsoever

At least one Backstreet Boy was involved in the 

creation of your latest album. @10lbhammerbp

You think Conway Twitty is just someone The Family Guy made up

Your truck tires are higher than your IQ @Senor_Fern

You think Jason Aldean is "old school".... -Chuck Dye

You can't recite the "third" verse to "Friends in Low Places" @swoletexan

You sing about bars and churches, but haven't been to either one in years

You have backup dancers -BamaDan Ferguson

You think a Telecaster is the guy who reads the news on TV - Seth Wilson

You think Moe Bandy is a rapper featured on Ariana Grande's next single

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Thanks to our Twitter and Facebook friends for the replies!

All others written by Trailer.

Saturday Night Music: Ray Charles & George Jones

Tony Jackson Covers "The Grand Tour"

More "Distracted Boyfriend" Memes: Possum, Conway, Kane Brown

Country High School Yearbook 3

Proof Things Were Better in the 90s

Shut the Hell Up, Bobby Bones

Intoxicating Country

*no, not making these shirts because we don't have a licensing agreement with the artists or TMNT*

Yabba Dabba Doo

Cody Jinks & Whitey Morgan Cover "Choices"

YouTube Gems: George Jones & Dolly Parton "The Blues Man"

George Jones passed away on this day in 2013. Has it really been that long?! Anyway, we miss you George!

The Walking Dead: Country Reaction Gifs

You're going to a Kane Brown concert?

When the car you find during the apocalypse

has a Luke Bryan album stuck in the CD player

 Hey Rick, remember when you said George Jones sucks?

You're a kid, Carl. You wouldn't like Sturgill Simpson.

  

Somebody's trying to tell you how the Backstreet Boys

was the best part of the ACMs

You broke my Red Headed Stranger vinyl?

When you pick up your car from the mechanic and 

the radio is on the mainstream country station

 

Monday Morning Memes: Luke Bryan, George Strait, FGL, etc.

Sunday Mornin' Music: George Jones and Reba McEntire

Who's Gonna Fill 'em?

I'm getting so (old and) forgetful, I wrote this without recalling we'd already posted something 

similar in the past (as if we don't recycle jokes daily). Anyway, my version more closely fits 

the real lyrics and contains current details, even if Marilyn Branson's is funnier and has the 

benefit of a great tune and production (below my lyrics).

 Who's Gonna Fill Their Shoes

(A parody of George Jones' "Who's Gonna Fill Their Shoes")

You know this old world is full of singers
But just a few are chosen
To get it crunk up when they sing
Imagine life without them
All your bro country heroes
Like the cornball that wears those skinny jeans

No, there will never be another
Fat-headed Jason
Face painted black and fist bumping dudes
The dopey Voice host Okie
No what up darlin'
Lord I wonder, who's gonna fill their shoes

[Chorus:]
Who's gonna fill their shoes
Who's gonna yell yeehaw!
Who's gonna sing of hotties
And drinking sweet Fireball
Who's gonna show us how they roll
And sound so auto-tuned
Lord I wonder, who's gonna fill their shoes

God bless the boy from Georgia
Grinding with his pelvis
Singing about shaking it and beers
He sure rocks those skinnies
And really crashed the party
And "That's My Kind of Night" brings me to tears

You know the heart of bro country music
Still beats in Brantley Gilbert
Echoes cross that Florida-Georgia Line
Ol' Hubbard and Brian Kelley
Why I can feel them right here with me
In this chromed out Raptor rolling through the night

[Chorus:]
Who's gonna fill their shoes
Who's gonna yell yeehaw!
Who's gonna sing of hotties
And drinking sweet Fireball
Who's gonna show us how they roll
And take us on a cruise
Lord I wonder, who's gonna fill their shoes

Yes I wonder, who's gonna be a douche?

Carl Outlaw, Real Country Fan, Reviews the 2016 CMA Awards

Carl Outlaw, Real Country Fan, 
Reviews the 50th CMA Awards

I didn't watch the CMA Awards, but here is my review anyway. Was Hank 3 on there? Was Jamey Johnson on there? Was Gutbucket Slim and the Dewclaws on there? Hell naw. Than, why should I watch it? They don't respect real country music so they should change there name to Crappy Music Association. I'm so sick of the media flooding different genera's with pop music.

I heard they had a few real country singers on their. Like Charlie Pride and Charlie Daniels and Roy Clark, but if I had to sit threw one second of some fruity guy wearing Levi's Tights©, than it wasn't worth the effort. And Carrie Underwood and Brad Paisley were the hosts? Pop country bull shit! Brad Paisley can play guitar ok, but he's about as country as Elton John's ballsack. Carrie Underwood is a banshee and an American Idle contestant, so clearly she isn't REAL COUNTRY BY GOD.

And then I read on The Blaze that they had Beeyansay on there. WHAT THE UNHOLY HELLFIRE F**K? Who's house should I egg over this? Isn't she married to that guy who killed Tupac? What message are we sending to our good American children? That it's okay to let people like her on the COUNTRY DAMN MUSIC awards? Its all money driven and their isn't any morals left in this country! Beyonsay is anti-cops & Chicks are Anti-american....Natilie's bashing of Pres.Bush has not been forgotten.

I think Luke Bryan had a song on the show too, but I don't know who that is. Maybe those George Florida Boyz did a song too? They probably had a segment at the end wear they burned photos of Merle Haggard and George Jones on an altar in the shape of Taylor Swift. I'm just tired of all this shit. If you disagree with me you can kiss my REAL COUNTRY ASS.

The Possum is Judging You