Showing posts with label Toby Keith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Toby Keith. Show all posts
May 12, 2021
Apr 8, 2021
Mar 31, 2021
Country Music Was Better in the 90s (Sam Hunt Parody)
Country Music Was Better in the 90s
(Parody of Sam Hunt's "Breaking Up Was Easy in the 90s")
Man, oh man, oh man
Bartender looked at me like, "I'd love to turn that jukebox down"
Someone was playing that modern sound
Something about a damn cell phone
Singin' with a twang but it's just pretend
Funny how it's two times as boring and half as witty
Why did someone pay money for a song this shitty?
The singer must have a nice face
Cause he can't sing worth a damn without the studio tricks and the auto-tune
But hey, what you gon' do?
Chorus
I'm sick of hearin' those snap beats, they just make me groan
Country's more than just some handsome cheekbones
They call it country music but that just reminds me
Country music was better in the '90s
I miss the steel guitar, truth and chords of three
Tired of hearin' pickup trucks and hey baby
Sam and Kane and Luke and them can kiss my hiney
Cause, country music was better in the '90s
Back then we listened to "Dumas Walker" and "Down at the Twist and Shout"
And "Chattahoochee," and "He Ain't Worth Missing" and "Love Lessons"
Sometimes the lyrics were fun and sometimes they were deep
But these days "vibe" is the only thing
And they wouldn't have a fiddle or steel guitar playin'
Or sing about some grown-up shit
Yeah I get sick of it all, I miss real drawling
Miss real country women and men
Chorus
I'm sick of hearin' those snap beats, they just make me groan
Country's more than a TikTok on your phone
They call it country music but that just reminds me
Country music was better in the '90s
I miss the steel guitar, truth and chords of three
Tired of hearin' pickup trucks and hey baby
Florida-Georgia Line and them can kiss my hiney
Cause, country music was better in the '90s
Bridge
Modern country ain't got modern hearts breaking
It's just a product, money for the taking
And I 'bout had enough hearing them living a country lie
I'm sick of hearin' those snap beats, they just make me groan
Country's more than just some handsome cheekbones
They call it country music but that just reminds me
Country music was better in the '90s
I miss the steel guitar, truth and chords of three
Tired of hearin' pickup trucks and hey baby
Thomas and Dustin and them can kiss my hiney
Cause, country music was better in the '90s
Mar 26, 2021
Local Man Wins Award for Never Having Heard of Luke Bryan
“We were duly impressed,” said Luddite Society president Keith Tarlington. “It seemed that nearly every social media post about Luke Bryan was followed with a reply from Carl… a “Who TF is that?” here, a “Luke Bryan, who’s she?” there.” “We were shocked that a human being with functioning sensory organs and an internet connection could not recognize the platinum selling superstar.” he continued. “Therefore, Mr. Outlaw has been bestowed with this distinguished recognition for his willful ignorance.”
While some might suspect Outlaw of simply trolling, friends and relatives say he is honestly that unaware of popular music. “He’s damn proud of it too,” said cousin LeeLee Outlaw. “Makes sure to brag about not ever having heard Florida-Georgia Line, or whoever …like it’s some accomplishment. He’s weird as hell.”
“I don’t listen to the radio” said Outlaw over the phone. “And I haven’t owned a TV in my entire life, so no, I really don’t know who Luke White or whoever you said is. And I’ve also never heard of ‘Beyonsee’ or ‘The Weekend’ or ‘Luke Coats’ or anybody like that and I’m glad I haven’t. I only listen to country music.”
When asked if he meant Toby Keith, Tim McGraw, or Taylor Swift, he sniffed “Who the f*** are they?”
Based on our interview, Outlaw does not, in fact, live under a rock and has not been asleep for 30 years (he’s only 23). He simply prides himself on avoiding any music that the general populous enjoys.
Well enjoy that Panera, oh great sidestepper of the mainstream. You’ve earned it!
Jan 14, 2021
Jul 23, 2020
Major League Baseball Country Reaction Gifs
Honky tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm make you wanna swing along
I ain't as good as I once was
But I'm as good once as I ever was
When Chris Stapleton blasts a three run homer in the 8th to take back the lead
Your cheatin' heart will tell on you
When they're playing Luke Bryan over the PA system
Is it cold in here, or is it just you?
When your give a damn's busted
 |
| (this is from the minors, but it had to be here) |
What you think of that new Parmalee song?
Somebody said there'd be no normal live concerts until 2022. Yeah, that's fine... no big deal.
The Florida-Georgia Line of baseball
Jul 17, 2020
Apr 21, 2020
Fake News Classics: Nashville Unsure How to Monetize Killing of bin Laden
by Trailer - Originally posted on Country California May 24, 2011
Several well-known country singers have expressed a sense of befuddlement about their course of action after the recent killing of Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden.
"Normally, I'd have three or four situation-appropriate patriotic singles I could rush to radio –- and I do, don't get me wrong –- but we get into a conundrum here because I don’t really understand what the hell is going on,” said one noted hitmaker who wished to remain anonymous.
"I've got one in the can called 'We Got Our Man' but I mean, what if they didn't really get him? You've heard the conspiracy theories," he continued. "And another one's called 'We Salute You,' but that might be misconstrued as support for Obama or something, and that's career suicide in the country market."
Representatives for Darryl Worley have confessed similar issues. "Darryl needs a hit right now so he doesn't have to go into underwear modeling -- not that there's anything wrong with that -- but he's a country singer and he's a patriot and America needs him to wave the flag now more than ever," said an anonymous member of Worley's management.
"We have a sequel to 'Have You Forgotten?' called 'We Remember' slated for release in late July to capitalize express his feelings on the ten year anniversary of 9/11, but that's two months from now... Darryl needs something on the market to keep his name out there, and the bin Laden killing is just too much of a mixed bag for us to formulate an approach on."
Other artists such as Aaron Tippin and Lee Greenwood were also seeking outlets for their desire to represent this occasion in song at press time, but their camps were mum on possibilities.
Toby Keith, however, was going full steam ahead with its release of "America, Hell Yeah," which hits radio five minutes ago.
Feb 11, 2020
Jan 8, 2020
Aug 1, 2018
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